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Adoption

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Original poster

Is possible for a married couple to place a child for adoption in the UK?

117 replies

jay002 · 12/03/2011 13:59

I'm actually asking this question on of my sister in law. She's expecting and her and my brother never planned to have children and aren't really capable of looking after a child. They decided to look into adoption a only to find out that in Ireland a married couple cant give their baby up for adoption. Their only choice is to keep the baby or put it in foster care. She's devastated at this and absolutely doesn't want the child to end up in care. Is it possible for a married couple to put a child up for adoption in the UK? I wouldn't think they'd be able to do it from here in Ireland but if they moved over to England would it even be possible or are the laws similar to here?

OP posts:
mehpants · 12/03/2011 16:20

I am surprised that people are shocked that the OP's sister is considering adoption, why? Would you be less shocked if she were single?

expatinscotland · 12/03/2011 16:26

Entirely possible for a married couple to put a child up for adoption in the US as well. They can pick and chose teh couple as well and have expenses paid so she could give birth there (citizenship is granted by birth).

Just as another option.

Ignore melvin, she/he seems to have something against Ireland.

Mamaz0n · 12/03/2011 16:31

Yes of oucrse you can. It is not something that is just done by signing a form. You will need to speak with SS who will investigate all other options with you first. they will ensure you/they are certain that what they are doing is absolutly the right option.

It is also possible that the baby is placed in foster care for a short period first of all too.

Whilst your sister may feel that they cannot cope with a baby right now, it may well be a very different matter when baby arrives.

And yes, do please ignore Melvin. He talks utter bollox and has a serious chip on his shoulder. He talks as if he has some authority on issues that he clearly knows nothing about.

expatinscotland · 12/03/2011 16:33

See, they won't give you the third degree in the US, particularly if they don't go through an agency and select a couple who is paying a solicitor to make the adoption legal.

No foster care possibility, either.

So it might be a good option, too.

Spidermama · 12/03/2011 16:33

I'm saddened that any mum to be would consider having the baby adopted unless there's some incredibly good reason like major, major mental or physical health issues. For me it has nothing to do with whether that mum is single or married.

melvinscomment · 12/03/2011 16:35

@ Checkmate :- It is true that everything I know about Irish adoption law I learned from Maryz. However, I think it will require more than a phone call and or a UK adoption agency to avoid it!

expatinscotland · 12/03/2011 16:38

My mother has a mate who is married and, after an adulthood of infertility, found herself spontaneously pregnant at 50.

Neither she nor her spouse wanted to bring up a child, so they gave their daughter up for adoption at birth and have no regrets.

RipVanLilka · 12/03/2011 16:43

Expat - I am pretty sure it is illegal to go inside US borders in order to put the baby up for a private adoption. It's avoiding immigration law etc, so they'll be in trouble

Which makes me think probably there are similar laws in UK, so the only option is probably to come to Britain, go through the proper channels to get residence etc. Otherwise i think the baby probably would be sent back to Ireland

expatinscotland · 12/03/2011 16:46

'Expat - I am pretty sure it is illegal to go inside US borders in order to put the baby up for a private adoption. It's avoiding immigration law etc, so they'll be in trouble'

Not necessarily at all. Depends on the state.

expatinscotland · 12/03/2011 16:47

Plenty of people also cross the border to give birth so that their child is a US citizen. That happens a lot.

maypole1 · 12/03/2011 16:48

sorry i am a foster carer and i can tell you it can take at least a year to sort all the papper work and court suff out also the judges like parents to have been given enough time change their mind

so as others had said you cant just sighn over a baby on day one

also you also have to take on board although their are many sucess stories on here lots of adoptions do breakdown i my slef have had a child whos adoption failed and by the time they came back they were 4 and its much harden then to find another family which sadly he didnt.

as for concurant placements it depends as not all ifa or las offer this i know mine dont.
so its not really as simple

SardineQueen · 12/03/2011 16:50

Could they get divorced before the baby comes?

Mamaz0n · 12/03/2011 16:52

Why is it they don't feel they can keep the baby?

SardineQueen · 12/03/2011 16:58

I'm assuming she's too far along for an abortion or doesn't want one for some reason?

bran · 12/03/2011 17:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RipVanLilka · 12/03/2011 17:16

Yes, abortion is still illegal, so only an option is they have the means to pay for it privately in England, and can get out without people realising what they are doing

The ECHR ruled in Decmeber I think that the rules violated a woman's rights..but i doubt anything will be done

RipVanLilka · 12/03/2011 17:16

That is if they even want an abortion in the first place

SardineQueen · 12/03/2011 17:17

Yes bran many people travel to the UK for abortions though.

I assume they must have considered this given all the other things they're thinking of though.

AnnieLobeseder · 12/03/2011 17:26

I'm somewhat horrified that adoption law is set up so that it's easier to have an abortion. Is it really true that you can't give a baby up from birth in the UK?

beachholiday · 12/03/2011 17:27

OP, perhaps contact Barnardos (in Ireland) as they may well have come across this situation before. Must be very difficult for all of you.

Mamaz0n · 12/03/2011 17:29

you can. but you have to "abandon" the baby at the hospital.
It is all very nasty. If you just say you want baby adopted and ask for SS help then it will be lots of red tape and will take a while.

Unless the court has ordered the baby be adopted from birth (usually due to previous chilldren being removed into care) then babies are usually a few months at least when they are adopted.

SardineQueen · 12/03/2011 17:37

Annie this situation is in Ireland.

expatinscotland · 12/03/2011 17:39

Yes, Sardine, but the situation in the UK is that apparently, you can't give up a baby for adoption and have it go straight to its parents without weeks if not months of red tape.

Is this so?

There's no private adoption here?

RipVanLilka · 12/03/2011 17:43

Annie - In the UK, you can place your baby, and from birth don't have to parent it

But you cannot give up your rights from day 1. The baby goes into foster care. You can sign papers from 6 weeks. I think that is best - the decision is so big that a few weeks at least are needed

The problem is that the court system has so many delays after that, getting paperwork done etc, getting into court when the they are backlogged with cases, that babies are nearly always at least 5 months old before they are moved into adoptive homes. This part needs speeding up massively

RipVanLilka · 12/03/2011 17:45

Yes expat - private adoption has been illegal since the 1958 Adoption Act i think