white families to be allowed to adopt BEM children

[KristinaM]

from todays Times. Sorry I can't link as you have to pay for access so the link wont work for you if you are not a subscriber

Barriers preventing white couples from adopting black or Asian children will be removed to prevent them from languishing in the care system for years, The Times has learnt.

Ministers are drawing up guidance for local authorities and adoption agencies that will say that race or cultural background should not stop children from finding a permanent home.

Legal delays mean that it takes on average two years and seven months to adopt, but ethnic minority children usually wait three times longer than white children, and some are not adopted at all. Last year about 2,300 children in care were approved for adoption, about 500 of them black or Asian. Typically, 20 per cent will never find permanent homes, and experts say that children from ethnic minorities are ?very overrepresented?.

Ministers say that social workers are inflexible when applying rules requiring them to give ?significant consideration? to race when seeking families.

In an interview with The Times, Tim Loughton, the Children?s Minister, said that there was ?no reason at all? why white couples should not adopt black, Asian or mixed-heritage children.

?If it is a great couple offering a good, loving, stable permanent home, that should be the No 1 consideration. Too many social workers are holding out for the perfect match, so suitable couples are turned away and children are staying in care for years as a result,? he said. ?Social workers think that if they wait a few more years the right family will be found. But if there are no other issues, the couple offering a permanent home should be approved even if it is not an ethnic match.?

There are about 65,000 children in care, most of whom are never considered for adoption because they are too old or move in and out of the system.

The guidance will state that ?race or cultural background should not be a barrier to adoption?, and local authorities? adoption rates will be scrutinised.

Interracial adoption was popular in the Seventies but is now extremely rare. Research from this period showed that nearly three quarters of children involved struggled to settle in with their new families and always ?felt different?. However, supporters of reform say that Britain is now far more racially diverse, and children of a different ethnicity to their parents no longer stand out, especially in urban areas.

The charity Action for Children runs an adoption agency that seeks out ethnic minority adoptive parents. Hugh Thornbery, its director of children?s services, said it had had considerable success, proving that parents could be found with sufficient effort.

?The research suggests placing children with those who understand their background, and can support the child in that, leads to better outcomes,? he said. ?But it is possible that parents of a different ethnic background can give a child a happy family environment if their social network and where they live is reasonably diverse.?

The number adopted from care overall is declining, from 3,700 in 2006 to 3,200 last year. Mr Loughton said that while he would not set a target, the total adopted should ?be double?. Only 70 infants were adopted in the year to April compared with 200 in 2006. He said that there was ?no sense of urgency? in many town hall children?s services departments, despite research showing that adoption of younger children was more successful.

I read this too with great interest.

I do think Action for Children are right and more effort should be made to encourage BME adopters though adoption is a tough path to take and I feel that probably only the most determined of people get through which does make the concept of trying to talk people into it tricky.

I also wish that so much of the "evidence" used to prevent interracial adoption was updated, I'm so sick of reading studies from the 70's when people far more commonly lived in 100% white areas and ignored race as an issue with their transracially adopted children.

My own experience which encompasses transracially adopted teenagers butno adults is that how a child feels about their race, identity sense of belonging etc is far more to do with the personality of the child than the race of child/parents (provided of course that the paretns do the ussual sensible stuff as recommended on good ICA courses). It can't be beyond the wit of man to take the transracial bits of the ICA prep course and do special top up courses for transracial domestic adoptions, can it.

The other thing that has struck me is that the sw's who hold out for an ethnic match (sometimes forever as macthing becomes so much more difficult in older BME cildren) is that it doesn't seem to bother tham that in the process the childrne are commonly fostered by (a number of different) white fster carers. How is a series of white foster carers a better option than one permanent white family.

In teh urban areas where proportionately more of the childrne are BME, there are much more mixed race communities. Even in my part of town which you might think was a white middle class enclave, DS's class-mates are Japanese, Russian, British and Canadian and are white, beige, brown. DS's class is less mixed racial than other classes in the school and even so, of 30 children 7 aren;t white.

I've also noticed that we have a high percentage of friends from mixed race families and can't decide whether it has been an unconscious decision on my part or whether they are more attracted to us as they assume DS is mixed race or if its just co-incidence.

DS has already started asking why he has Chinese eyes but seems quite happy about the simple explanation that he has Kazakh eyes and many people fom Kazakhstan have beautiful eyes like his. No idea if this is an early signs of some identity issues but we'll deal with themas they come up.

One thing I am certain of, how ever much not-ideal it is for DS to be adopted into a white family it was a way better option that the alternative of having no family.

This is interesting. I wonder why the rates of domestic adoption have fallen so much?

Isn't it true that you are more likely to find BME foster carers, than adopters, so more chance of getting a racial match if the BME child stays in the foster system than gets a non-matched adoptive family?

Speaking as a foster parent even now we are told 'oh that placmenet would be no good' because we are both white british. So even as a first step children can be sent to placements that are not as favourable in every other respect other than being of the same/similar race.

Our last placement was 3 little ones from a family of seven. There were four different fathers (same birth mum) and each father was not white but had a different heritage. Of our three foster children two were very obviously 'olive' and one was white blue eyed.

The two youngest were adopted by a white british couple who said they would tell the (olive) child that she just had a 'suntan' and would not discuss that she and the blond eyed child had different fathers as that would be 'too complicated'. The SW sat and laughed with them

It is, as so often happens, so much down to the indvidual social worker and her team - it is great that instead there will be official guidance. It will be interesting to follow how the guidance is actually interpreted.

If there were legions of Black/Asian/Oriental prospective adoptive parents lining up to adopt these British born children then I would understand social services viewpoint.

However,given that we don't live in an ideal world and these perfect parents don't exist then it is downright cruel,racist and destructive to deny these needy children a loving home.

The whole adoption process is a complete disgrace in Great Britain.

This overhaul has been a long time coming. Lets hope the new legislation can be enforced.

It has to be done right.

They should not just reverse all the guidlines.

They are there for very good reasons. They may well have been taken too far in many cases and kids shouldnt be left in the system for the want of a 'perfect' match.

I cant help thinking that this is some sort of a sop to those who have no idea of what adoption entails and enjoy frothing at the mouth to all the horrible adoption stories in the Daily Mail.

I have met in RL and online lots of people who have adopted children of a different race from themselves. They are overwhelmingly incredibly commited to their children and go way beyond what is asked of them. I am in awe. I have met a very few that refuse to even tell their children they are adopted even though it is blindingly obvious.

We had our son pretty much dropped in our laps and it was still an incredibly stressful process. Ironically, even though he is from our family he does NOT match our racial mix. We are white uk/ british born west indian. He is white,dutch,welsh,west indian and possibly white x another part of the west indies.

But we are not sure of b.father's origins.

It does make our lives much much easier that he looks like his brothers. He doesnt stick out from the family, I neednt tell anyone he is adopted and he doesnt have to explain either. The only difference is that my birth kids are all blue eyed and he has brown eyes.

My misgivings about this change in policy are not about the morality of interracial adoptions. Its about how it will be handled. It really isnt as simple as some people think it is.

I agree MrsDV and I suspect that adopters with transracial families would probably be the most cautious in welcoming change. Living with the issues raised by a having a child of a different race to you is not something to be taken on without a great deal of thought and its certainly requires a bigger commitment.

It probably sounds a bit ridiculous but one of the things that shocked me was how our whole family became a multiracial one with the adoption of DS. I really hadn't thought through that I would be viewed differently by people (who mostly think he is my birth child which is a bit startling given the total lack of a single common feature!).

Its been an interesting journey with some doors creaking closed very slowly and others opening.

Also DS is a very cute child and so we haven't had to deal with the potential racism that might come when he outgrows his cute-ness (could that be possible?!). I do wonder how well equipped I am to deal with racism having never experienced it myself.

I guess you can only do your best but I suspect that most adopters worry more than most that their best may not be enough.

I am really interested in your views because I have a lot of respect for you Kew.

I am cautious about this change but I really do not want to offend anyone who has adopted transracially. Anyone with an insight into adoption knows just how hard you have to work to get through it. How hard you had to work is just, well, mind blowing!

I dont want people who know nothing about it meddling because 'children just need to be loved'. It just doesnt work that way.

I worry that there will be children who are adopted because no white children are available. Do you know what I mean?

I have five mixed raced children. I have been in a mixed relationship for nearly 21 years. There have been many times when I am so glad I have OH to help with the issues that arise. I dont feel fully equipped to deal with them alone although of course I would have to if I were alone.

I think the system has to be really closely examined to see why there is a shortage of BME adopters. It is not because 'they dont like taking on other people's children' as a worker on the adoption helpline once told me

I think it is down to many things but I a distrust of social services, a dislike of sharing your family business with outsiders, lack of space - realistically most people from ethnic backgrounds live in cities and who has a spare bedroom in London?
Adoption allowances - things are changing but families from BME backgrounds tend to be on lower incomes. We were only allowed to adopt because we are kinship adopters.

There has to be lots of non judgemental support available for families who adopt transracially. They have to get the help they need and feel able to ask for it if they are struggling. They shouldnt feel they are failing if they find certain aspects difficult.

I want as many kids out of the care system as possible. I also think this change will allow some foster carers to adopt children who have no chance of being matched and are living in limbo. I can think of one little boy who is NEVER going to be adopted but his Asian f/c wants to do so.

Some really interesting posts here. I am the white adoptive mother of a mixed race child - though of course my dp is black so it doesn't count as a transracial adoption - and I am really aware of what a challenge it is to raise a child (who, through adoption, already has big identity issues to manage) to have a positive self identity in this situation. Love is not enough.

But it is a good start, and I do think the adoption system has become too rigid and inflexible on this issue. However, that is not just about ideology. It's also about a system that is under-resourced, poorly staffed, risk-averse, and so dominated by targets and protocols.

I think that racial/ethnic matching should continue to be a signiicant criteria, but it shouldn't outweigh other considerations. More importantly, the system needs to focus less on matching and more on preparation and ongoing support. I've written this before on these threads, but I'm astonished how I've just been let loose on mothering a child of a different race to me, with the assumption that because I've got a black partner I'll do. I'd like to see more willingness to approve as transracial adopters people with intelligence, sensitivity, resourcefulness and good social networks, and continuing support after placement to help those people become the best parents they can be.

Hester, maybe they (ss) think that your partner has been let loose on mothering your new DD and that as the hanger-on, you'll do!!

I shouldn't worry too much about offended transracial adopters MrsDV (should find another shortening of that as I realise it makes you sound like some kind of mother superior of domestic violence), any with an ounce of sensitivity are perfectly aware (more than most having personal experience of it) of the pitfalls of transracial adoption.

As I said I absolutely agree that BME adopters should be nurtured in some way but the problme I have is that children in waiting shouldn't be having their childhood frittered away whilst we adults are trying to get our shit together.

I think racial/cultural identity should be a significant part of matching but I do beleive that there should be some kind of review by someone independent after a fixed amount of time and the child social worker should have to justify why a list adopters are not suitable, race alone not being a sufficient reason, I think after an amount of time any caring family would be better than the non-existant family. Like HEster I think there should be much more emphasis on training for transracial adopters. I found the prep course for ICA hugely useful and I still remember and use some of the things I learnt.

I think there needs to be an emphasis on equipping your childrne to go out into the world as a non-white person able to hold their own and have an identity of their own that isn't "protected" by their white middle class family. I think thats the thing I'm least equipped to deal with though I plan to have a pretty good go.

Too many social workers addressing the race issue come up with unbearable cliche's about keeping children in touch with their heritage revolving around food, national costume and rather twee folk-lore type things when the reality is that for someone of that ethnicity living in Britain and identifying as British the "culture" they have is rather differnt. I'm not sure if I've explained that well - DS is rather fond of his Kazakh hat and mini yurt and camel in traditional tack but I somewhat suspect that this isn't really getting to the heart of what it might mean for him to be a british Kazakh. I think he may take some time to forge an identity of his own and I suspect the adolescent years could be bumpy!

On the other hand - the sad fact is that DS had been on the adoption register for at least 6 months (I suspect about 8), 3 of which were for domestic only adopters before I arrived. I am convinced that his delays were so great as a result of his extreme prematurity and institutional delays that no-one was prepared to take a risk on him. BY the time it became apparent that he really had no significant medical or developmental problems (about aged 3) he was really at an age when BME children (boys in particular) are becoming much harder place. I was lucky the Kazakhs are more pragmatic about adoption and provided you have satisfied them that you are going to be a competent parent they think anyone is better than an orphanage. To be blunt they don't have the resources to support the childrne when there are people available who want them.

Really liking this thread. Lots of insight and balanced views.

Ironic point. When DS was first placed with us OH's family were totally barred from any contact with us. They were seen as this big hemogenous lump and a danger to DS. A ridiculous notion, the family are huge and diverse. This cut off my support network in a stroke and left me, a white woman [albeit the mother of two mixed race children] with only OH to support me.

Ironic point two. The SWs involved seem to only want to deal with me even though DS was from OH's family. They didnt seem comfortable dealing with him at all. One social worker 'confided' in me that she didnt really know many black people but her sister had lots of trouble with them back in the US

I was also treated to the comment 'he could pass as white couldnt he?' with a nod and an encouraging smile from some dick of a SW who seemed to think it was a compliment.

So my experience doesnt fill me with a whole load of confidence that the system is really ready for a sea change in policy.

I'm liking this thread, too. I think the Minister should be consulting US on his guidance.

I read today a comment from the British Association of Social Workers insisting that social workers do not let ethnic matching delay adoption. Which I think is a wilful refusal to acknowledge the reality of social work culture in some parts of the country, at least.

On the other hand, I would hate to see a wholesale retreat from ethnic matching. I do think it has value for the child, if it isn't done in a crude and doctrinaire way. But I also think that many white couples could successully adopt BME children with really good preparation and ongoing support.

I may feel more strongly about this than I usually would, because I'm a bit vulnerable with it at the moment. I'm a Londoner from a mixed race extended family and with a black partner, and have always been pretty confident that I could marshal the resources, insight and support to successfully parent a black child. But now that I'm in that situation I worry terribly about my ability to give my daughter what she needs. I know, from my family's experience, that having one black parent is no guarantee a mixed race child will get what they need to have a positive identity and negotiate their way in the world.

It seems to me, at this early stage of being an adoptive parent, that helping adopted children to develop a positive self-image is a very long and very complex challenge. Selecting the right people to undertake that challenge is only the start of it; understanding adoption as a process, and working with adoptive families to develop and grow through each stage of it, is the vital part that we're not currently very good at.

Are you still in London Hester? If you want to expose your DD to a chaotic, slightly demented but ultimately loving mixed race family with loads of kids - you would be welcome

I AM in London, Mrs DV - where else would let us over the border? - and your offer is so welcome Shall I PM you?

Yes do.

I am about to rush off, but wanted to jump onto this thread to say I have just heard a good discussion of this topic on Woman's Hour. You could listen again on iplayer...

Sorry if anyone has already mentioned this, I must admit to not having read all of your posts (yet) but will be back later to do so :)

we are in London too MrsDV ..........

"I think the Minister should be consulting US on his guidance" too bloody right Hester! Anyone fancy sending a link to Michael Gove?

Are you Kew? Oh I suppose your name is a clue

I think a mixed race meet up should be on the cards......

Of course it could be an elaborate double bluff....

though thikning about it, I am actually in Surrey, Daaaahling

Much of my family is in France and a few of my cousins are adopted. One is of Madagscan background, Two are of South American background and the youngest's birth parents were Senegalese. The 3 eldest are adults and while one of them has issues I think it far more related to adopted dad fucking off and adopted mother dying from cancer then any afdoption issues. The other adults are happy, settled people within a close family. The youngest is 10 and a lovely boy. He has always known that he had another mummy In Africa (we know she returned there) but is perfectly fine with his identity. His parents divorced which threw him a bit but he is happy with his dad and new wife and baby brother. The new wife is from the Ukraine so even more added to the mix!

Sure being with a family of the same colour makes it less obvious to strangers that they are adopted but I don't think it can be disputed that having a stable, loving home, be it black, brown, white or anything in between must be better than waiting around in the care system.

I am certainly aware that whilst every efforts are made for same-race placements the LA that I workedfor, did not delay adoptions if the right racial mix could not be found. BAAF (British agencies for adoption and fostering) certainly make the valid point that this is how the system works now. They ask the minister Tim Loughton where is the evidence that social workers are shunning suitable white families. The reply from the minister's spokeswoman was "anecdotal" - how irresponsible is this. I think Loughton thinks he is raising a new issue and the Guardian suggests he could have been angling for an appreciative headline in the right wing press.

However I can recall some of the London Boroughs (going back a few years ago) were still refusing to match minority ethnic children with white UK adoptors. The irony is that the vast majority of these children will be fostered by white foster carers, sometimes until they are of an age when adoption is no longer a possibility.

The most important issue in my view is for a child who has been abused/neglected and for whom the care plan is adoption, is that they are placed at the earliest opportunity with a family who are going to enable them to form secure attachments in that they will learn to trust adults again after very traumatic pre placement experiences.

Am a bit concnerned about the issue of not telling children they are adopted mentioned in one or two posts, and in one case a social worker was laughing at the notion that the adoptors were notplanning to tell the child he was adopted. This is simply not on and this issue forms a large part of adoption preparation courses. To keep these matters secret, take us back 50 years.

Someone mentioned Womens Hour on this topic which I heard. There was someone on from Action for Children (used to be NCH) saying that they often had BME parents approved but social services would not place. The fact of the matter is that SSD cannot afford these placements - the voluntary agencies sell their families to the LA and often don't tell the prospective adoptors how the system works. I am out of touch with the cost of a Vol Agency placement but know that it is something LAs cannot afford and this was before the 25% cuts that are being demanded by the tory government. The voluntaries in my view have been in an advantaged position for too long. I wonder how many people know for instance that the NSPCC do not deal with child protection matters as they do not have any statutory responsibilities in these matters - they merely refer to social services, who are tasked with carrying out child protection procedures and everything else right up to the final hearing.

The social workers for vol organisations eg Barnardoes, Action for Children, NSPCC have very protected case loads and no statutory responsibilities, and can pick and choose which courses they will run. Some of these are very helpful but it is still a discretionary matter. THey can carry out assessments on prospective fostr carers anbd adoptors much quicker than the LA as they have far more time.

However the point was made by AFC on woman's hour that keeping children in foster care rather than "buying" the families that they recruit to make same race placements, costs as much as their fees. I can't comment on this but I suspect it is a possibility.

I think to survive in this age of cuts the voluntary organisations are going to have to move with the times, and maybe take over some of the statutory duties of LAs. i am sure the tory politicians would welcome such a move as they don't really trust any public services and want everything privatised.

Interestingly dh & I enquired about adoption from 4 agencies about 6 months ago. 2 didn't respond and the other 2 were rather condescending.

One told me that although we were black, we needed to prove that we had an extra bedroom for the baby before they would even send out forms to us. I tried to explain that we were renting a 3 bed but I would move to a bigger place if we were approved and advised to do so. She didn't seem to believe me and insisted that she couldn't take it further if because of our bedroom situation.
The other told me that we might want to think long and hard because there was no financial payment or immigration guarantees being offered if we went down that route. she never clarified about the nationality before jumping to conclusions.
We are not likely to pursue adoption any longer because life is hard enough without inviting further prejudice into ones life.