white families to be allowed to adopt BEM children

[KristinaM]

from todays Times. Sorry I can't link as you have to pay for access so the link wont work for you if you are not a subscriber

Barriers preventing white couples from adopting black or Asian children will be removed to prevent them from languishing in the care system for years, The Times has learnt.

Ministers are drawing up guidance for local authorities and adoption agencies that will say that race or cultural background should not stop children from finding a permanent home.

Legal delays mean that it takes on average two years and seven months to adopt, but ethnic minority children usually wait three times longer than white children, and some are not adopted at all. Last year about 2,300 children in care were approved for adoption, about 500 of them black or Asian. Typically, 20 per cent will never find permanent homes, and experts say that children from ethnic minorities are ?very overrepresented?.

Ministers say that social workers are inflexible when applying rules requiring them to give ?significant consideration? to race when seeking families.

In an interview with The Times, Tim Loughton, the Children?s Minister, said that there was ?no reason at all? why white couples should not adopt black, Asian or mixed-heritage children.

?If it is a great couple offering a good, loving, stable permanent home, that should be the No 1 consideration. Too many social workers are holding out for the perfect match, so suitable couples are turned away and children are staying in care for years as a result,? he said. ?Social workers think that if they wait a few more years the right family will be found. But if there are no other issues, the couple offering a permanent home should be approved even if it is not an ethnic match.?

There are about 65,000 children in care, most of whom are never considered for adoption because they are too old or move in and out of the system.

The guidance will state that ?race or cultural background should not be a barrier to adoption?, and local authorities? adoption rates will be scrutinised.

Interracial adoption was popular in the Seventies but is now extremely rare. Research from this period showed that nearly three quarters of children involved struggled to settle in with their new families and always ?felt different?. However, supporters of reform say that Britain is now far more racially diverse, and children of a different ethnicity to their parents no longer stand out, especially in urban areas.

The charity Action for Children runs an adoption agency that seeks out ethnic minority adoptive parents. Hugh Thornbery, its director of children?s services, said it had had considerable success, proving that parents could be found with sufficient effort.

?The research suggests placing children with those who understand their background, and can support the child in that, leads to better outcomes,? he said. ?But it is possible that parents of a different ethnic background can give a child a happy family environment if their social network and where they live is reasonably diverse.?

The number adopted from care overall is declining, from 3,700 in 2006 to 3,200 last year. Mr Loughton said that while he would not set a target, the total adopted should ?be double?. Only 70 infants were adopted in the year to April compared with 200 in 2006. He said that there was ?no sense of urgency? in many town hall children?s services departments, despite research showing that adoption of younger children was more successful.

ffm - I think your experience echoes what MrsDV said earlier about BEM families also not meeting the criteria due to often living on lower incomes and living in more urban areas with less space (sweeping generalisaion tehre too I know!)

NN - I was also sceptical about he publicised reveiw becasue people don't seem to grasp that there is nothing to stop transracial adoptions legally no, only attitudes. So I'll be interested to see how they are going to change things practically.

Mind you I think it is the height of cycnicism for BAAF to be claiming that this is the way the system works now as they are rather openly anti-transracial adoption. Even in their March conference when they commissioned a consultant to present a paper on the pros and cons and despite some of the pitfalls of TRA being "backed up" by research done in the 70's and 80's and (in my opinion) rather suspect in this day and age, and the pros being that BEM children are less likely to spend a lifetime in care with a genuine acceptance of white adoptive paretns, they still couldn't agree to support the idea.

Sadly I really don't think anything is going to change either in terms of encouraging BEM adopters or "allowing" transracial adoptions.

ffm, I'm really shocked by your post. We were approved to adopt while living with one child in a two bed flat - i.e. no extra bedroom for new child. It did mean we were only approved for a child the same sex as our first, but otherwise it didn't stand in our way.

Agencies can be really strange. I rang a number of them in the early days, including one of the VAs. The sw who talked to me was completely vile, making it clear in a very uncivil way that she thought I, a white woman, shouldn't be allowed to adopt a BEM child, and at one stage even calling my birth child a 'pampered little princess'. She was unbelievably unprofessional. Needless to say, I avoided that VA like the plague. Was quite suprised when THAT VERY WEEK that same VA published a report bemoaning the shortage of mixed race adoptive families. I wanted to shout, "Well, it's not surprising if that's how you talk to them when they ring up!"

I would have felt better if I had filled out a form and been assessed without the prejudice. I am actually a higher rate taxpayer living in 3 bed semi but we never got round to that point. I was more shocked at the insinuation that a black family is motivated to adopt for immigration reasons without checking the status first. I have to say that I applaud those who still press on.

I might be completely wrong here and am prepared to be told that - I have no children so can only approach from an opinion perspective rather than an experienced view.

In my view very young children, babies need a safe, loving environment to help steer them on the path to adulthood. When they are teenagers, any difference is surely perceived as a major issue and obviously no parent 'understands' their teenager (according to the teenager!). Again, surely a parents job is to once again steer them as best as possible until they get over the teenage emotions and realise that we all have a place in this world.

Myself and my husband are very much looking at adoption but as a white middle class family, I am guessing that we're probably going to have a struggle - add to that that we'd prefer a baby we're probably whistling in the wind.

What I fail to understand is that if we wanted to adopt a baby of a different colour to us, it would more than likely be met with opposition as we cannot possibly understand the trials and tribulations a black or asian person faces in this world, How then is it we would (I presume) be okay to adopt a child with a disability for example? Neither of us have disabilities or know anyone with disabilities, so how could we possibly understand what a person with disabilities has to face going through life?

My argument would always be that you don't need to 'understand' you need to be a loving empathetic person who can support a child/young adult through the trials of life and offer an always stable safe haven - is that not the job of parent. Let's face it, nobody can 'understand' how another person feels or what they face as we are all so very different - even if we have shared experience, we only know how we feel or felt at the time.

Personally I feel a child of any colour/heritage is going to be a damn sight more screwed up by a succession of foster carers and childrens homes throughout their life with the feeling that nobody wanted them, than a loving, stable environment that might not quite look like them.

This may be an extremely niaive view but surely in our world now, there is no 'normal' family - whether that be mixed racially, separated parents and extended families, two mums or two dads, whatever! Surely 'family' is about a place where you are accepted, loved and safe from the outside world!

I will add that we've only just started seriously thinking about adoption and maybe our ideas of the system are completey wrong!

Interesting post Debs and yes to a degree you are being naive but in my opinion also being realistic (re any stable family better than no family.

I think the area that perhaps you are bieng slightly naive about is "might not quite look like them" is way underplaying how important having a strong racial identity can be for many BEM children when developing their self esteem and making sense of their palce in teh world. It could be hard to model a successful adulthood on someone that you find it hard to equate yourself to because you look so different.

Its a bit like having positive female role models for girls to stop them thinking that women should all be in "caring" professions.

In my experience transracial adopters do really put themselves out to find ways to mitigate the downsides of living in a family of a different race.

My other thought was "safe from the outside world" is of course true and particularly for small children but as they grow even quite young childrne need to be equipped to make their way successfully in the world and that includes not trying to pretend that many people in the world will see them differently because of their race.

The vast majority of the British world is actually a "normal" family - even if they are lone parents the majority of children will have a father in the picure even if sporadically and mixed race non-adoptive children are generally in touch with family of both races. And most young children do love to be the same as their peers.

I don;t think any of this argues against my belief that UK social workers should be much more open to transracial adoption, not because its great but becasue in very very many cases it is better than the alternative.

I'm not sure I agree that the majority of families in the UK are 'normal' let's face it, what constitutes 'normal'?

I do completely agree that it's important to find a way to embrace/introduce a childs background or heritage if they are of a different ethnicity to you but whould temper that by saying, only if the child requires it - again everyone is very different. Reminds me of a Gina Yasheray (spelt wrong!) joke about how she travelled across the world to Nigeria to get in touch with her roots, only to find her roots were in Bethnal Green!

If any placement is going to be absolutely perfect couldn't it be argued that all adoptive parents should have to have experienced adoption in their life? Otherwise how can they fully understand abandonment issues?

I totally agree that you should never pretend that many in the world won't see them as different but is that not the same as teaching any child that the world can be both an amazing place but also damned cruel and hard?

I agree it could be hard to model a succesful adulthood on a family you may not equate with but how many children don't equate to their birth parents in the slightest but go on to be well adjusted, successful adults. Again, it comes down to the individual concerned. I can speak with some experience on that front - now I love my parents but frankly they were hopeless when I was growing up, both far too young to have had a child. My father had (and still does) a great liking for drink and my mother left me when I was young to go off and 'find herself' which involved a lot of nightclubbing and young boyfriends. Again I'll re-iterate I love my parents but have no desire whatsoever to lead my life like they did and have never looked up to them and I consider myself a successful adult (others may disagree!)

I guess all I'm saying is that families have a multitude of ways they can mess you up and the outcomes all come down to the individuals.

You're quite right, I probably am a little niaive, having had rubbish parents (but fabulous grandparents) I am a great believer that as long as you love a child you can overcome most obstacles - let's face it if my 90 year old grandmother was the person I most respected, loved and admired and a 15 year old doesn't have much in common with a 90 year old - then I think most things can be overcome with patience, empathy and most of all love.

But like I say, I don't even have children so probably have got a completely unrealistic view.

Debs I'm basing my "normal" observation of DS's fairly run of the mill primary school in London. I'm sure if you picked a differnt school you might have a differnt view but even then I think many "lone" parent families are not truly "lone" its just that both parents don;t live on the same house.

Of course people deal with all sorts of crappy parenting and come out none the worse for wear. But childrne who were adopted alrady have extra things to deal with - neglect, abuse, indiffernce perhaps even a death, removal from everything they know (even if it sucks) sometimes a few times. They have to learn that they were not able to stay with birth family which the majority of children never have to learn to come to grips with. They may have siblings who they don;t have much (or any) contact with. They have have ohysical or mental problems as a result of their early life. You are adding to that even the most superficial of problems - the need to beconstantly saying to people " yes that is my mum" and the sense of a loss of identity may go even deeper than that some some children.

I say all of this as a single mother of a transracially adopted son whom I adore. But I am not in the least bit blind to the fact that even at 5 his life would be a great deal less confusing for him if he were with an adoptive family of a similar look even if not the same race.

You do make very good points - it's actually very refreshing to have a discussion with someone who does have real experience of a situation.

You're right, I am very naive and probably need to get a more realistic view before we possibly embark on this journey. Like you say any adopted child is likely to come with some real 'issues' and I have to accept that lots of love is not always going to be enough.

Don't get me wrong - lots of love is essential but so is being well informed and realistic and being wide eyed enough to spot the early signs of potential issues and not to think that you will always be able to solve it with a cuddle.

No major issues with DS yet but even so most DC's don't need "coaching" on how to handle the "bring in a baby picture" from school or the question "why do I have chinese eyes?".

I do agree with much of what you say because ultimately no-one will fight for what hey need more than a committed and loving parent and most adoptive aprents want what is best for their child and will bend over backwards to get it for them. Don't underestimate the importance of minimising what they already have to deal with though.