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Original poster

Why is do parents not "thank" a teacher?

330 replies

Dcteacher · 30/08/2024 20:06

I took 11 children to Borneo. For 2 weeks.

We did a lot.
Suba dived in the South China Sea.
Trekked the foothills of Mount Kinabalu.
Stayed in the jungle and learned jungle craft.
Spent to day on a tropical island.

On return. Not one single parent thanked me for the trip of a lifetime for their child.

I had spent the previous 2 years helping with fundraising, answering questions doing the paperwork, taking time out of my holiday. This is not in my job description. I don't have to do this.

Not one.

Why?

OP posts:
User6874356 · 30/08/2024 23:09

Thatmissingsock · 30/08/2024 22:06

The thing is... There are quite a lot of jobs where you get sent abroad. To work for like a week (eg exhibiting at a conference). Generally you end up working way more hours while away, hauling stuff around, having to attend 'networking' stuff and make small talk with people who don't speak English when you'd quite like to go to bed.
Its not uncommon to be given a very tight budget for expenses so end up eating crap. Sometimes it can be genuinely really hard to find food that fits your personal dietary needs.

And no, no bugger thanks you for going or gives you time off in lieu.

Its just not unique to teaching, so i think some parents just don't think to say thankyou because nobody thanks them, either?

Show quote history

Yes, indeed. I have been on work trips and no one thanked me. They were not optional either like op.

EnidSpyton · 30/08/2024 23:10

Grabyourpassportandmyhand · 30/08/2024 22:59

You are quite adept at making this about the 'trip of a lifetime' for privileged kids. Bringing a child who lost her father to cancer to strengthen your point has weakened your argument considerably.

Many kids have hugely disadvantaged backgrounds. Many don't know who their father even is.

Bringing rich kids to a far flung destination because it enriches their lives is not fooling anyone. Come back to the thread when you have organised your hardship fund to take eleven hugely disadvantaged kids from a deprived background away for a week. Lets see how many teachers volunteer to do that instead of going to very nice destinations. There are three teachers in my immediate family. They jump at the chance of having trips away when they want to visit the destination themselves.

Show quote history

I'm sorry, but you're really not making any sense.

I'd very happily take eleven disadvantaged children away for a week. I don't differentiate between the backgrounds of the children I teach. It doesn't matter to me who their parents are or how much money they have. I'm not really sure what your point is there.

Most school trips aren't to that exotic locations, you know. I don't know what school trips your child's school offers, but the ones we do are mostly to ordinary places in the UK where we stay in very basic youth hostels. It's not all glitz and glamour. I've never been to Borneo. The furthest I've been on a school trip is to Auschwitz, and that wasn't exactly a laugh a minute, nor a location I particularly wanted to go to.

You seem to have a real bee in your bonnet, but I have no idea what your problem is beyond a belief that children whose parents can afford to give them opportunities shouldn't be allowed to do so because some people's parents can't do the same. Which is, while well-meaning, I'm afraid both unrealistic and nonsensical.

Grabyourpassportandmyhand · 30/08/2024 23:12

Yes, indeed. I have been on work trips and no one thanked me. They were not optional either like op

I trust, at least twenty five of your work colleagues, contributed to a collection for you at Christmas and at the end of the year to make sure you felt appreciated.

User6874356 · 30/08/2024 23:13

Lol. This is surely a joke. Otherwise it’s just downright creepy

Fizbosshoes · 30/08/2024 23:13

I used to think teachers got a free holiday when they went on a residential school trip.

Then I had kids of my own and found out how a holiday changes when you are responsible for a child/children.....and then tried to imagine what it would be like to be responsible for many many more children, 24/7 who weren't related.

I have emailed to say thank you to the teachers when my DC went on school residential, the first one, my DD hated, was homesick, and wanted to go home at midnight. I was very grateful for a teacher giving up time to comfort her.
Other trips my kids have really enjoyed and I've emailed to express thanks.

User6874356 · 30/08/2024 23:14

Grabyourpassportandmyhand · 30/08/2024 23:12

Yes, indeed. I have been on work trips and no one thanked me. They were not optional either like op

I trust, at least twenty five of your work colleagues, contributed to a collection for you at Christmas and at the end of the year to make sure you felt appreciated.

Unfortunately not. If only they had - might have offset the cost of buying gifts for my children’s teachers.

Grabyourpassportandmyhand · 30/08/2024 23:16

I have no idea what your problem is beyond a belief that children whose parents can afford to give them opportunities shouldn't be allowed to do so because some people's parents can't do the same. Which is, while well-meaning, I'm afraid both unrealistic and nonsensical

Is it unrealistic and nonsensical though for schools to choose destinations that the majority of any class in the school in question can easily afford to go?

ThreeImaginaryBoys · 30/08/2024 23:23

P0llyP0cket · 30/08/2024 22:34

Imagine, you work a ‘normal’ job, 9-5, 20 days holiday.
You're told that you need to organise an educational trip for your colleagues children. Abroad. 5 nights. In your holiday, unpaid. You need to cater for the one allergic to nuts, one who can’t fly, one who doesn’t like sharing a room, others who are scared / missing home / don’t like fish etc etc. Make it as cheap as possible. Convince other work colleagues to go too, unpaid. Make sure that you are on call 24/7. Someone unwell at night? You need to be there. Flight at 5am? You need to be there at 4. Organise the transfers, coaches, trips, hotel, risk assessments, meetings, individual parents asking for something.
Then you get told that you’re lucky to do this. No thanks needed. You lucky bugger.

Absolutely.

I'm disgusted by some of the ignorance, entitlement and downright ingratitude on this thread.

Can't wait for many PPs to voluntarily give up their annual leave to take 30-odd kids on a trip.

Imagine if teachers stopped giving up their UNPAID time for stuff like this.
Cue 'wah wah my local school doesn't do ANYTHING for my kids ... no enrichment activities ... no after school clubs ...'

Nope. Because you don't deserve it.

EnidSpyton · 30/08/2024 23:23

Grabyourpassportandmyhand · 30/08/2024 23:16

I have no idea what your problem is beyond a belief that children whose parents can afford to give them opportunities shouldn't be allowed to do so because some people's parents can't do the same. Which is, while well-meaning, I'm afraid both unrealistic and nonsensical

Is it unrealistic and nonsensical though for schools to choose destinations that the majority of any class in the school in question can easily afford to go?

No, and I haven't said otherwise.

I have stated more than once that schools should be mindful of their communities when arranging trips.

I don't disagree with your basic premise that trips should be achievable for as many of the school community as possible and I have made this view quite clear.

Greatcurry · 30/08/2024 23:25

Is no one going to even attempt to explain the benefits of a trip to Borneo, over a more affordable outing? 🤣

Milsonophonia · 30/08/2024 23:27

One of my dcs went to a very swish private school and they absolutely never did trips like this. I can't imagine which school would think Borneo was at all suitable.

TheaBrandt · 30/08/2024 23:38

Actually all bar one of both dds secondary residential trips have been pretty shit. To keep the costs down the flights are at insane times at airports hours away and the accommodation extremely basic. Teens vomit on the coach and have all sorts of issues. Frankly the teachers deserve a sodding medal for enduring it.

Fizbosshoes · 30/08/2024 23:50

My DC (state) school organises world challenge type trips. Due to covid , DDs year wasn't offered it, we couldn't have afforded it anyway. I imagine it will be advertised to DS year next year. He won't be going but they are generally pretty popular in our town.

SpidersAreShitheads · 31/08/2024 00:00

I do think that many of the posters on here are conflating a residential school trip for 12, 13 to olds with what it’s like to take a bunch of 16-18 yr olds away.

It’s not remotely similar. Sure, there’s still the overall responsibility but these are more or less adults - the 18 yr olds are legally adults. It’s NOTHING like taking a bunch of tweens or young teens on a trip.

School residentials for Y6, Y8 etc are an enormous amount of stress.

But the OP wasn’t running herself ragged after a bunch of rowdy 13 yr olds. She was away with a bunch of young adults/adults.

I do think some PP are missing this really important differentiating point. And if you have to go and thank your 18 yr olds tutor, then there’s something very wrong.

Avocadont77 · 31/08/2024 00:17

OP parents don’t thank teachers because manners have gone down the drain. The parents and the students should have thanked you and everyone else who made the trip possible.

I must be old fashioned because I still thank the bus driver, cashier, waiter you name it because that’s how I was brought up.

This is also one of multiple reasons why I don’t organise school trips at all.

SummerSplashing · 31/08/2024 00:29

RoachFish · 30/08/2024 21:08

I think it's a little different at those ages. It's not like they are 7 years old coming back on a coach where the parents are stood waiting and they have to be ticked off on a list to be let back to their parents. They are nearly adults or adults. They should thank you themselves but the parents probably aren't involved in the same way they are when they are little.

@RoachFish

give me 7 year olds any day!!

they're not the ones desperately trying to drink/smoke/have sex.- sneak
off.

YellowAsteroid · 31/08/2024 03:32

@Dcteacher some posters on this thread have appalling manners, zero empathy and imagination, and frankly should not be parents. It’s why teachers’ classrooms are increasingly unmanageable.

I think you should decide now that this is the last trip you will support by your free labour as fund-raiser and chaperone.

It’s a loss for the children you teach, but parents of the sort who’ve posted their rudeness on this thread, don’t deserve your volunteer labour.

YellowAsteroid · 31/08/2024 03:36

And if you have to go and thank your 18 yr olds tutor, then there’s something very wrong.

Yes there’s something wrong with the way you raised your child.

And you are completely underestimating the responsibility a teacher takes on even for those 18 year old “adults.”

Just look at the way some parents expect university staff to keep on parenting their DC, who are heading for 19 or 20.

If something had happened to one of those 18 year olds on this trip, do you think you’d be saying, “Oh well, that pupil was an adult. @Dcteacher had no responsibility for that adult.”

Highly unlikely.

Lancasterel · 31/08/2024 03:50

A holiday of a lifetime being responsible for lots of other people’s children 😂😂😂 That’s some holiday 😞

People are so rude and have no idea how stressful it is organising and taking trips away, with no extra pay (you’re on call 24/7!) or recognition. I am so aware of how I feel after running a trip that I make it a point to say thank you to teachers or Brownie leaders etc when my own children go on trips. I know lots of people don’t though!

Macaroni46 · 31/08/2024 03:51

whatsuplittle · 30/08/2024 20:41

@Dcteacher because you got a free holiday of a lifetime?

There's always one ffs

coxesorangepippin · 31/08/2024 03:51

Yeah, I agree

Not sure what's wrong with people really

I thank teachers/scout volunteers etc too much!

coxesorangepippin · 31/08/2024 03:53

One of my dcs went to a very swish private school and they absolutely never did trips like this. I can't imagine which school would think Borneo was at all suitable.

^

What is this even supposed to mean? Because it didn't happen at a 'swish' school it wouldn't happen elsewhere?

DoIWantTo · 31/08/2024 04:14

If it’s part of your job and the “children” are actually practically adults why would you expect the parents to thank you?

DoIWantTo · 31/08/2024 04:17

Edited because no one asked for the definition and I’ve clearly had a bit too much wine this evening 🤦🏻‍♀️

LiberteEgaliteBeyonce · 31/08/2024 04:24

whatsuplittle · 30/08/2024 20:41

@Dcteacher because you got a free holiday of a lifetime?

Hahahahaha yeah, this old classic.
Taking kids abroad on expeditions is sooo relaxing.
I have taken students on many trips, home and abroad and rarely get thanked.