I just can't be fucking arsed any more.

[SmashedPumpkings]

It's a rainy Monday at the beginning of assessment and marking season, and I'm at a point in my life where flouncing off forever for an early retired filled with an absence of academic bullshit feels within reach.
No longer being fucking arsed with academic life seems like a perfectly natural reaction to this context.
But, still I need to be a little bit fucking arsed because I do actually need to do my job, if only with minimal effort and if only for a decade-ish.

My lack of arsed-ness is manifesting in several ways including, but not limited to:
> Not pursuing any new research avenues unless they are genuinely innovative, fascinating and/or disruptive. I have no fucks left to give for research which is safe and intending only incremental shifts.
> Not attending conferences or workshops unless there is a clear and direct benefit to me. I have no fucks left to give for hearing about other people's safe research which inevitably results in hardly-discernible incremental shifts.
> Only writing academic articles that excite me even if they are completely left-field from my core research area and not guaranteed 3/4*. I I have no fucks left to give for spending weeks agonising over writing articles that are dull but strategic.
> Putting only minimal effort into teaching such that I ensure the basics and foundations are sound while giving no attention to the singing and dancing add-ons because, shock horror, academia is not one long Tik Tok video. I have no fucks left to give for pedagogical practice which ignores the fundamentals of sound scholarship and assessment and, instead, focuses on shiny things in the name of some bullshit strategy.
> No longer answering stupid student questions. I have no fucks left to give for students who email with questions that have been answered both in person, in lecture materials and on Ultra sites.
> Completing my citizenship role to the absolute minimal standards and at a time which is convenient for me (barring meetings of course). I have no fucks left to give for roles which have minimal kudos attached, from which I get zero satisfaction and which I believe would be more effectively, and cheaply, done by a colleague on an administrator contract.

In short, I'm working to contract whereby I'm doing my job to an adequate quality but no more than that.
Though I'm still a decade away from leaving academia, I'm already beginning the process of winding down. In six or seven years I'll dispense completely with anything which is absolutely non-essential.

Thank you for giving me the time to vent this. For obvious reasons, I've name changed.

I wonder whether anyone else just can't be fucking arsed any more? And if so, how does your not arsed-ness manifest?

(RG uni BTW...)

@user8800 I feel bad you didn't post 5 weeks ago, as I would have advised you to cc in their head of the module/dissertation course leader and/or the head of department. That's what I tell my students to do if they have a lazy dissertation supervisor. Your son/daughter could seek an extension (if they have a reason) but that's not good enough, but it's very important students are proactive and contact their supervisors when told to do so and attend meetings when they are set.

I have only six dissertation students this year and out of that only three have attended our meetings and sent in work in progress to be reviewed. I don't know what they tell their parents...

In other words, I see both- supervisors who aren't bothered, and students who aren't bothered. The supervisors should be pulled up as it's their job for which they are paid. The students- up to them, I can't get over how much help there is for them with our dissertations that they don't take up (after years of them all moaning).

@user8800

Your ‘child’ can send a follow up email, sometimes emails are missed

God my parents were barely aware what I was studying

Glad I read at email. Remembered to respond to my dissertation student 😄. She emailed me Friday though.

Parents need to be aware that universities lose money for each home student they take. Each year we struggle away in this economically unviable model we get deeper into shit!

Yes I thought that. Instead OP can put her energies into what she wants to do to prepare for her end date/endgame? and quietly prepare for it but in terms of performing her job adequately (or even a notch above) whilst putting energies into prepping for life after this academia. Good luck OP. 🌹

Yes, this is key - and often picking up the slack dropped by the close-to-retirement, can't-be-arsed crew!

It's possible to protect your time, health and sanity and still do a good job, without being a crappy colleague and teacher.

Wow. You've captured perfectly something that I've always struggled to articulate properly. Thank you!

I also think there's an element here of how much we can/should engage in the pastoral side of things as individuals/humans dealing with complex lives outside of work.

"Yes, this is key - and often picking up the slack dropped by the close-to-retirement, can't-be-arsed crew"

i have no idea where you work, but the slack dropped by these uncollegial senior folks is not picked up by ECRs where i work - we do not expect ECRs to sit on the millions management meetings, review boards, ref committees, strategic reviews. Unless the ECRs are on a teaching or R&T contract, my uni does not let them mark, or deliver teaching beyond the odd demonstrating, workshop or guess lecture if they want to do some. New lecturers are on a managed workload (approx 50% load to develop their material) and would not have to lead modules, module admin or do committee work (but they have to mark, that s true).

the ones picking up are invariably women, often at mid career stage or later, because nothing and noone protects them once they are out of the ECR stage.

i appreciate that it may not be standard in the field, but we do actively protect our ECRs from the admin workload so that their time is spent on research (and proper teaching, if it s in their JD).

Ditto - none of the manifestations that I listed above will mean additional work for an ECR.

It's testament to the system that some work dropped by colleagues is just never done and no fucker ever notices.

I'm in humanities. ECRs are any lecturers within 8 years of their PhD. They are usually doing the lion's share of the teaching and marking, which is the work that our jobs tend to rely on (there are not as many grants available in humanities, we make our money from tuition fees and the REF). ECRs are also under extreme pressure to establish themselves as researchers in the field. There is some protection during their 18 month probation (e.g. 20% WAM uplift on duties) but nothing like 50% load.

Having been on both sides of this (once ECR, now associate prof who sits on lots of boards and committees) I still think that those doing the actual front line teaching are often doing a more valuable job than the higher ups sitting around in endless meetings and talking shops. I look forward to going back to this when I'm out of my current big admin job!

How does this work out with your colleagues and manager etc?

I understand ignoring some things and not volunteering for stuff, but don't the angry emails stress you out? Also I'd feel bad about making other peoples lives more difficult (e.g. the admin people on timetabling who are probably not paid very much).

For the OP - how do conversations go with your line manager with regard to applying for promotion ? Do you just say you're not bothered, or feign interest ?

@EverSoYoni I'm not sure this is something to brag about tbh! I'm a senior lecturer but I like to think my daughter won't have this experience in university and if you are a programme lead this undoubtedly will be having a massively poor effect on students.

@disneyparis For the OP - how do conversations go with your line manager with regard to applying for promotion ? Do you just say you're not bothered, or feign interest ?

Promotion is weird at my university. Every two years, we have to submit a progression form which is a kind of quasi-annual review process. If the department panel feel you are ready, you will be nominated for promotion. So, essentially, everyone has to apply for promotion every two years regardless of whether or not we're interested or ready.
So I can't really avoid it.
But I put minimal effort into the actual form. And I don't pay any attention to the feedback.

Outside of this process, no-one has talked to me about promotion. If they did, I'd just say "That's not something I'm pursuing at the moment" and leave it at that.

As a programme lead myself, I find this rather appalling tbh. Slack off on your own goals, sure, but refusing to do your timetabling for example is really shitty, that's affecting lots of other people too.

Also wth are you doing all day if you're not doing any research and ignoring your admin and emails?

It isn’t having a negative effect on the students at all. Can I make clear any unread emails aren’t student emails. I answer every single student email the same or the following day. I get nothing but positive feedback from my students.

maybe it stresses the timetable administrators out but ultimately I’m not sacrificing myself for them. If there’s an impact on stuff like that it’s the only way we’ll potentially get more staff. In fact I saw a member of SLT today who said I/my team should go off sick with stress due to workload. He said it’s only if students are impacted that we may get more staff and at the moment they’re not.

my manager says I’m doing a great job and he’s always begging me not to leave as I keep threatening to go.

Teaching and marking. And answering copious student emails. I was at my desk at 7am today marking. I teach about 4 days a week. I’ve answered about 25 student emails inbetween marking.

Our team has been at 50% capacity due to long term sickness for over a year. I’ve picked up 2 full time lecturers teaching and marking (and students) workload as well as my own.

And I’m not refusing to do timetables. I’ll do it in June after I’ve finished marking the 60 assignments, 18 dissertations I have to do in May on top of my teaching.

or do you think I should scrap the teaching and do timetables instead 🤷🏻‍♀️. My timetables are actually done on word documents which timetable department have. They need inputting on a specific software system which apparently I need to do. That’s not the timetable dept job. I mean I could say doing 3x people’s teaching isn’t my job but I don’t.

Umm that doesn't seem like an insane amount of marking to me?
You already said you're ignoring your marking deadlines (which are not arbitrary btw) so might as well bash out the timetabling before doing it.

Fine not to sacrifice yourself but then you should say no when offered a programme lead role, I mean you clearly don't care about the responsibilities of it.

maybe it stresses the timetable administrators out but ultimately I’m not sacrificing myself for them

This is so shitty. Do you know how much less they get paid than you?

The reason they don't want to use your word documents, by the way, is because you'll inevitably kick off about it and blame them when they don't psychically manage to translate your random notes into the timetable you have in your head.

@MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned Do you know how much less they get paid than you?

I do bear in mind how tough junior and worse-paid colleagues have it when there's a difficulty/misunderstanding/period of institutional stress.

But - this norm is embedded in how we're expected to be - we're expected to be noble. Do we not realise how awful the students are having it because their world is so uncertain and they had a horrible time during Covid. Do we not realise that the PhD students have terrible stipends and no job prospects. Do we not realise that the private sector is much worse.

I want to work in a sector where I don't have to think about how awful everyone else is having it all the time - a line trotted out by parents in the 80s to get their children to eat grim food. I want to do my job well and feel valued for it - not endlessly grateful for what is thin gruel. Look at what has happened to the pension for a start, and to vacations, which we used to have as time to get research done. I don't know any academic who takes all their annual leave.

Just to be clear on the above: I'm tired of being made to feel endlessly guilty all the time, when I'm working quite hard. I've had a weekend of marking and this is a long week.

Umm that doesn't seem like an insane amount of marking to me?

what on top of teaching 4 days a week 9-4? And answering loads of student emails every day. Just answered another 6 in the last 20 mins. It’s never ending. I had to take the PL role on as I was the only person left in my department. Even now there’s me and someone who’s been a lecturer for six months and still doing their pg cert.

so just turned the laptop off after a 10 hour day. All student emails answered you’ll be pleased to know.

i was obviously mistaken thinking people on this part of MN might be supportive, realise how shit the workload is, etc and understand that we should not be sacrificing our health. I lie in bed and cry and have chest pain like you wouldn’t believe. I can’t go off sick because the course would fold if I did. I won’t return to this thread the judgement from some sanctimonious posters has made me cry again. The shit state my programme is in is not my fault. I have a ratio of 1 lecturer to 100 students. On a course with 30 hrs of f2f teaching a week. Some of the teaching is practical sessions requiring both lecturers. Our governing body says it should be a ratio of 1:24