Academic common room
Cannot face going back to academic role
Marasme · 01/01/2022 13:11
I am a prof at a RG uni, STEM subject. I worked through to the 23rd to "catch up" before finally switching everything off. This was a long awaited break following the semester of hell, and no holidays last summer.
I opened the email yesterday and got totally overwhelmed by the amount of work hiding in my inbox. Ten years ago, I would have happily worked on pet projects during the break, but this has massively changed over the last 3 or 4 years. I cannot complain - my group publishes well, I have more than enough funding.
I just can't face going back. It could be burn out, or just falling out of love with the job and the workload, especially now that the nice parts have vanished (conferences, workshops). My uni has also done some dodgy financial moves that restricts us from spending any discretionary money toward CPD or conferences (unless from grants).
DH suggests that I just pack it in a retrain in sthg else. I don't like the idea of retraining. I am sitting on an academic job offer elsewhere (not UK) which i haven't actioned just because it would mean disrupting DH s career and DC10 and DC13 too much.
SarahAndQuack · 01/01/2022 13:59
I'm so very sorry to read this. It sounds rotten.
Are you absolutely sure you can't disrupt your DH's career/the children's schooling? Or is it something that might be possible in a few years, if not now? I wonder if having an end point in sight would help.
I do think probably right now we're all slightly clouded by the sheer awfulness of the last couple of years and it's really hard to feel positive about anything. Do you think it's definitely more than that?
hernamewasrio · 01/01/2022 14:10
You've invested a lot in your career to date. As someone who left the corporate world for HE a few years ago the grass isn't always greener. Why not investigate other institutions. My University is very respectful of personal leave and time - the culture is incredibly supportive and leadership recognizes how hard we work and actively encourages us to take leave as needed. It's not RG but I'm an Associate Professor and get paid extremely well compared with RG pay scales.
Alternatively why not look at consulting using your expertise? But trust me the demands of corporate jobs are more extreme and the back stabbing would never see me back there. I was happy to take a pay cut for more fun at work and I love teaching.
Best wishes and remember not all Universities are the same - there are some that value faculty as much as students.
Marasme · 01/01/2022 15:02
Thanks all!
The risk linked to the other offer is big - i'd do it if i was single, for the adventure and the challenge, and the change of scene. But the salaries in that country are low for academics, and I am not sure if we could afford the same standards of living that my kids currently enjoy, and this scares me.
Really interesting to hear your perspective, @hernamewasrio; DH is ex academic and loves his move to industry. I guess it's discipline specific? I doubt I'd be very good at consulting, it s not my kind of groove - my big challenges that fill me with dread are the management consequences of having a big group, dealing with finance, HR, legal etc.
So little of what I do is actual science - even teaching, which i enjoy, is eclipsed by the mountains of marking and teaching admin.
I could eventually thin down my group, sadly, it s the good ones that go, and those who stay are the PhD students failing / not progressing.
It s such a big part of my life, I wish it was fulfilling and not killing me slowly by stopping me taking summer holidays or having hobbies and a healthier lifestyle. A large part of it is up to me to get my foot off the pedal - but i guess i m preconditioned to just work and apply for grants etc.
Last time i looked for another job, i found the one i got an offer from. The main result has been creating some big awkward discussions with DH about the future and sustainability of us continuing on the same path (what i / we do and where we are currently in the UK).
hernamewasrio · 01/01/2022 15:11
Maybe we all just appreciate change at a certain point in life whether it's corporate to HE or vice versa? Interestingly my PhD was in biochemistry but I never used it as I hated lab work. So I did an MBA and worked in marketing for years so now lead MBA programmes. I LOVE my more mature students and I'm lucky that I also enjoy leading and developing programmes.
I feel like I've seen all sides of different careers and this is the role I've loved most.
We're so lucky that we can move around the world so easily. We moved back from the US after 20 years there and our teenagers are thriving in the UK. You can always move back if it doesn't work out!? X
Marasme · 01/01/2022 20:06
a change would be ideal - and i wish i had the cold head and decisiveness of my 20s to make bold decisions.
I am so worried of disrupting the kids and giving up a good material life here, for the big unknown of "academia abroad" - with no guarantee of being able to come back in a similar role.
Marasme · 01/01/2022 20:06
i should have said - other country is not English speaking, and different culture
bigkidsdidit · 01/01/2022 21:48
Could you just - ahem - do a less good job? I presume you work very hard and do your best. You could skate along for a few years, have summer holidays, recover your equilibrium
bigkidsdidit · 01/01/2022 21:49
Not having time for any hobbies or to take any time off is mad. It really is. I am also tenured STEM in a RG university and I don’t work this hard. I am probably less successful than you but I am ok with that
SarahAndQuack · 01/01/2022 21:55
Jesus, @bigkidsdidit, if you think anyone works harder than you I'm terrified.
(I am sure your advice is wise and right, but I had to say that as I find it terrifying how hard you/many academics work).
MMBaranova · 01/01/2022 22:01
... A large part of it is up to me to get my foot off the pedal...
There you go. The short term answer is probably there. I'd be noting 5 or 6 ways I could measurably do that.
Elnetthairnet · 01/01/2022 22:02
Academia is a job that will take everything you have and then a bit more - but then a lot of jobs are like that, and probably any other job you are likely to go into will be like that (as likely senior level). You have to take control and as mentioned above control how much you’re prepared to give. Set your own boundaries. I’m not in academia but a similar path where there is always more that I could do. A while ago I just decided I would settle for being ‘good enough’ at work so I could enjoy life a bit more and stop killing myself. No one at work has noticed…
bigkidsdidit · 01/01/2022 22:26
@SarahAndQuack
(I am sure your advice is wise and right, but I had to say that as I find it terrifying how hard you/many academics work).
I don’t work most evenings or weekends, and I finish at 2pm twice a week! I work very hard when I am working. But I do have masses of hobbies and I take my full holiday allowance every yesr
bigkidsdidit · 01/01/2022 22:27
Snap Elnett. Good enough is good enough. Mediocre men have been doing it for centuries 😁
SarahAndQuack · 01/01/2022 22:28
I didn't mean to make you justify how you work. I just think it is telling how hard people can work before it registers as 'too hard'.
Marasme · 01/01/2022 22:34
this is my goal, if I remain in that job.
to do less; to submit a "meh" report on time, rather than kill myself to add bells and whistle to make it an amazing report.
To not take the extra leadership "opportunities"
To not cover for sick colleagues at the expense of my time off
To not help with the marking for other courses when noone helps on mine
I would love to regain an identity beyond the job. This has been eroded for too long.
thanks all for the inspiration
bigkidsdidit · 01/01/2022 22:35
Take up a hobby you really want to do. And start saying no!
adarkhorse · 01/01/2022 22:39
@Marasme - ufff, Sounds tough. Can you sort out short term by actively readjusting workload or even looking for a sabbatical? And then reassess what the 5/10 year plans are.
I totally get it - STEM PhD but worked in industry for a long time with nice salary package (not exactly happily, but work-life balance is greeeeat). Now I got an offer for exactly my subject area from a small but nice University abroad - so tempting! But same as you, I fear for disrupting kids‘ life and all the comforts here in the UK (own house, friends, family etc). Anyway, rambling on… a lot of soul searching required.
adarkhorse · 01/01/2022 22:42
Oh and @Marasme I get the identity bit completely… I was my research at some point. So finding something else to bring you joy or purpose is key.
GCAcademic · 01/01/2022 22:44
I hear you, OP. I’m a HoD and nearly had a nervous breakdown last term; the bloody university put me in one intolerable situation after another, leaving me in the firing line for their utter incompetence. As for my darling students, they have not left me alone throughout the Christmas break. I was emailed a particularly nasty complaint by one on Boxing Day and had two requests for Teams meetings on NYE. Fucking sick of it and actually looking forward to hopefully going into hospital for a hysterectomy in the not too distant future. Being cut open and having bits of me ripped out seems positively restful in comparison to spending 80 hours each week dealing with selfish students, dysfunctional management, and the endless firefighting that really should not be part of an academic’s job. How fucked up is that?
GCAcademic · 01/01/2022 22:49
Oh yes, leadership “opportunities”
Fucking fell for that one, hook, line and sinker.
SkippettyDoDah · 01/01/2022 22:59
@GCAcademic
Every time I feel ill, I find myself thinking 'well at least it would be some time off'. It's so wrong.
Marasme · 02/01/2022 13:38
@GCAcademic, that sounds awful butbit s what I recognise in my experience and that of my colleagues. We should not wish to be signed off sick for a bit of a break.
There is no sabaticals where I am - the only hope is fellowship to fence off time for research only. Alas, I am not sure I enjoy research and the research admin that comes with it. I work in a highly regulated field, and it totally sucks the joy out of experimenting.
The short term solution would be to find and most importantly commit to a non work related hobby (easier said than done, I have zero attention span for anything but work) and to define long term family plans. Tricky with a DH who likes to enjoy the day rather than project himself in the future.
As anyone ever managed to redefined their job role within the same institution? I am not sure if a chat with my HoD would go anywhere, for example. He s got form with fobbing off people with worklife balance issues, and identity crises.
Elnetthairnet · 02/01/2022 14:01
Think you sound like you’re on the right lines - finding something you enjoy outside of work will make it easier to say no, set your boundaries and submit that ‘meh’ report. Good luck!
hernamewasrio · 02/01/2022 18:48
I've had my out of office on since Dec 17th and even removed work email from my phone over the holiday. It's been blissful and I'm very clear with my boundaries with students and colleagues. The great thing is we all behave similarly and it is a culture led by example by our HoS and Dean.
TheDrrWillSeeYouNow · 02/01/2022 19:01
"Every time I feel ill, I find myself thinking 'well at least it would be some time off'."
I feel the same way.
Like the idea of approaching it like a mediocre man/being just good enough, but it's difficult to do that when you are used to doing the biggest best job you can possibly do.
As it happens, I have also completely switched all emails off since 23th December and have still not switched back on. I dread to think what is awaiting me on Tuesday...
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