Difficult Students

[Benes]

Not really after advice more of a place to vent where people will understand!

I run an MA and currently have a student causing real issues.They basically stem from the student having unrealistic expectations as to what support and help he should be receiving....the usual ' i'm paying thousands to be here therefore I own your soul' type of thing.

This morning he's kicked off monumentally and has sent a loooong email outlining my failings to my HoD. He also copied me in just so i know what he thinks about me. My HoD will support me unequivocally but it's such bad timing as there is a promotion opportunity coming up which I really want and could do without a student complaint hanging over my head.

Bloody students!!!

Extremely annoying. Do you have a set expectation around contact and feedback- we have a very explicit one for PhD, for Masters I'm less sure. It sounds like you would have met them anyway, but may be a starting point for resolving this. I find supervising Masters difficult sometimes, I currently have a student who probably would get through without me dragging them through and I debate whether this is the right thing to do but feel obliged to make sure they get their Masters, even if the grades are low!

It's a taught masters so the level of support they get is in line with what we offer undergraduates. I've definitely done more than expected.

In his latest email to my HoD he's said I've not taught the correct material (not true) that my marking is unfair (again, not true and I've got evidence to back this up) and that he doesn't want me marking his work or teaching him anymore! Good luck with that one as I'm the only person in the whole university qualified to teach the subject and we're one of only 5 universities in the UK that offer this subject.....if he wanted to transfer elsewhere the nearest place is 150 miles away.

All of this because I told him 8 emails before 9am was excessive and refuse to cancel annual leave to meet him for a tutorial.

Wow, sounds awful. Hope HoD has your back, they should do as that amount of demanding and contact is excessive. I guess if they ask for a transfer of supervisor let them crack on! Problem being no-one else will touch them with a barge-pole...

So stressful for you, but it hopefully will not affect your own promotion.

My HoD will be very supportive. They're already aware of him as he blew up at me a few months ago because I refused to engage with him while off with flu!
He's part time so I've got him for another year.....he will have to attend my lectures to gain his professional accreditation. There's no way around that.

He's very manipulative and has tried to get other students on board with his complaints. Thankfully they've all told him they don't agree with him.

The added frustration comes from the opportunity we've given him.... we ask for a DBS check and something came back on his. We held a panel and decided to give him a chance ( his offence was a long time ago and nothing violent etc) but you'd think he'd be thankful.

I was struck by your last post. I have just been promoted to HoD and during my handover my old boss said that he had learned that if you bend over backwards for students, let them away with things, benefit of the doubt etc, that it always comes back to bite you.

He said he'd just made a a blanket rule to not do it. Sad but true.

These types ruin it for everyone else.

Unfortunately that's probably right naked
He's definitely made me look at how I support my students and means I will probably take a step back with my new cohort in September.

I have added a message to my email signature that I will only answer them during normal working hours and have learned to keep a professional distance.

I remember the first year as a lecturer, baking a class mince pies which they then turned their noses up at!

Yeah I do the same....no emails on evenings and weekends. In the 10 years I've been involved in this course this is the first time we've had someone complain we're not supportive enough. Usually we're praised for the amount of support we offer. The course trains people to do a job where interpersonal skills are key so generally everyone is lovely.
He's obsessed with the cost of the course and the fact he has 100% attendance - like that should mean he gets special attention.

I've dealt with student complaints before but this one worries me......it's starting to feel quite personal.

It's a shame the concept of students as customers is now an issue at postgraduate as well as undergrad.

How cheeky of them not to appreciate your mince pies!!

Quite often I find that it's the postgrads who are even more demanding and needy than undergrads. We are going down the road if anyone and their dog being accepted on now though, as long as the fees are paid.

All of this because I told him 8 emails before 9am was excessive and refuse to cancel annual leave to meet him for a tutorial.

You should launch a counter-complaint, for harassment.

Exactly GC ..... apparently me explaining that that many emails was excessive and asking him to take time to reflect on feedback was 'offensive'

He sounds unhinged and possibly dangerous. I think you need to take his harassment very seriously, op. He has taken things much too far already.

Is he older than you by any chance? I have come across a number of mature male students who can’t seem to cope with having a female tutor who’s younger than them, and who try to re-establish the relationship dynamic via age and sex in order to claim power over their professor. One of my female professorial colleagues was told by such a student that “a woman’s place is in the wrong”, and another student would simply burst into female academics’ offices without knocking to make his demands, as obviously women existed simply to serve him.

I do think there is something wrong with a person who sends eight emails before 9.00am. He sounds quite obsessive and unhinged, and I think your HoD should be having firm words with him about his behaviour.

Oh, cross-posted with Aquamarine re. the worrying behaviour. Do think about raising a harassment complaint, OP.

I have a meeting with my HoD on Monday. I’m gathering all the information and evidence to take with me. I’m also refusing to see him alone.

There are definite mental health issues- either undiagnosed or undeclared.

I’m hoping we can find a way of ensuring he doesn’t continue into year 2.

I’m very lucky that my HoD and Dean are fantastically supportive so I know they’ve got my back.

Thanks for the support everyone - it’s reassuring that it’s nit just me that thinks his behaviour is out of order.

He is older than me (plus I look younger than I am) and I’ve commented to my DH that I suspect he wouldn’t speak to male staff the way he speaks to me. I also think that it’s a confidence issue. The course is female dominated and there are some exceptionally intelligent and competent women who do put him to shame....I think he finds this quite hard to deal with.

He’s also very short sighted.....he’s training to work in quite a niche sector where everyone knows everyone and my DH is also well known and is president of our professional body. All the students know this too as he provides placements. We’re both regularly asked to recommend newly qualified people for jobs and projects. He’ll be someone we tell people to avoid like the plague!

So an official complaint went in today. Paragraphs of lies and statements about how unsupportive I am.....but the idiot forgot to delete a previous email trail where he's thanked me for my continuous support and it's been included in the official complaint.

Unfortunately it has to be investigated but I'm being supported.

Thanks for the update, op. He is definitely an idiot! I am sure you have nothing to be concerned about in regards to his bullshit complaint. Just be sure to remain wary and vigilant. Your safety is top priority.

Thank you. One of my senior managers took one look at the email and made it clear I must never meet him alone.

He's requesting a refund for a module because he can't meet the deadline or the extended deadline because he's on holiday! Obviously that's been laughed out of the room but he's blaming me saying he couldn't start the work because I refused a tutorial. It just gets more and more ridiculous.

First step is to try and resolve at faculty level and informally so we've invited him in. Let's see if he turns up!

he had learned that if you bend over backwards for students, let them away with things, benefit of the doubt etc, that it always comes back to bite you

That’s been my experience as HoD several times. The more you try to be open with students, the more you try to offer them, the more they whinge and complain. They’re not very good at being grown ups. Sadly, it starting to filter through to Masters and PhD students.

It's sad though isn't it? The course I run is quite small and niche and the supportive environment has always been a strong point.

He really is deranged. I had a tutorial booked with him this week which I've obviously been advised to cancel as we've got a more formal meeting next week with other people present.

He's kicked off again as he doesn't understand why we can't still meet?! He's using it as another example of me not supporting him ...... apparently he never meant the complaint to be taken seriously and feels his issues have been misconstrued. I've read the email. There is no room for interpretation.

As part of the complaint he's asked for a refund so I think he exaggerated (and outright lied) thinking I'd just get a slap on the wrist and he'd get his money back. His request for a refund has been declined and I've got evidence to refute every single one of his issues so I imagine he's panicking.
As part of our complaints policy if a student submits a complaint that is found to be untrue or malicious they can be subject to disciplinary procedures - something I will definitely push for.

This is awful OP. So glad you're being supported, but I hope it is all dealt with quickly.

And I thought our students complaining about the seats in the lecture theatre being too hard were bad.

Thanks Mindy
I'm sure it'll all be fine. It's just a bit stressful at the time!

This sounds just like a student on the masters which I'm doing at the moment. Luckily I'm not involved but he's tried to get the other students to support his campaign against our lecturer. Don't suppose you're teaching a medically related masters in SE England are you?

That's interesting grandma as it does sound very similar.....however i run an education related masters in the North West!

Hope your lecturer is getting lots of support too. It's not a pleasant experience!