Neighbour complaining about my children's noise playing in the garden

[IlanaK]

We just moved into a garden flat after not having a garden for most of my children's lives. We have had landscape gardener's in for two weeks and they are now mostly finished transforming the garden. The garden is over 100ft and we have divided it into areas. There is a bark chipped area near the back (though not right at the back) where we have put the trampoline. At the back of our garden is the garden to another house which is side on to ours (so you come out of our place, turn right and right again onto a side road and theirs is the first house so it runs perpendicular to our garden if that makes sense). Their garden is quite small and they have an extension that is not that far from the boundary between our gardens.

Today the man that lives there came to complain about the noise my children were making. He works from home in the extension and says they are too noisy on the trampoline and he can't hear to make phone calls.

My kids are aged almost 9, almost 6 and almost 2. They are all boys and we moved to this place specifically for the garden space. I home school my children so they are in the garden during the day on and off between about 9am and 5pm. The last three days we have had friends around so it has been noisier than usual. I did explain all this to the man. He said he thought we were running a nursery here! I assured him I was not!

So,he wants us to move the trampoline. He says that we only put it at the back of the garden to keep the noise away from our house (NOT TRUE!). I am unwilling to move it as we have specifically safety surfaced that area for it. I asked if there were specific times of day that he would prefer them not to be playing there - he said no as he works all day. He also mentioned his need to relax in his garden at the weekend.

So, what would you do? Would you move the trampoline? WOuld you ask your kids to be quiet when they are out there? Or would you ignore him?

I live in the countryside, the cows keep mooing, shall I tell the farmer to gag them? It's disturbing my zen like state!

I don't think it's unreasonable at weekends or on hot days for kids to make noise in gardens - during the day - after all in this country we don't get many nice days.

I work from home, yes sometimes we can hear noises - we moved here because it's quieter than cities. It's sort of a given if you live in a city that it will be loud most of the time. Similarly if you move to the middle of sodding nowhere, it may be quieter (except at harvest time).

I don't think you need to do anything, talk to the kids about being quiet, but I will bet you anything what he is really objecting to is the parties you've had the last three days.

And your two year old will learn to talk really soon and get (slightly) quieter. I'm in the same boat and in the last few months there's been less squarks and more talks.

I know you must feel unhappy to have finally got your garden - and also to have it landscaped exactly the way you want - and now someone is complaining about how you use it!

I think there are a few things at play here, that might make your neighbour extra-tetchy:

1. The house/garden were quiet before you/the family moved in so he is unaccustomed to the noise.
2. The fact that you HE your dc means there is not 'guaranteed' quiet time for him to work without being disturbed.
3. Your other neighbours/their dc are unpleasant/difficult, and he is in dispute with them so is possibly over-sensitive to your dc and their noise
4. Three days with guests/their dc in the garden/on the trampoline for most of the day (on weekdays) probably pushed him over the edge

He is unreasonable to say your dc shouldn't be in the garden playing and making a 'normal' amount of noise. But you need to give him some idea about when he can count on working undisturbed.

As someone said earlier, perhaps you can allow the dc to play/make noise during a lunch break. Otherwise, if you wish to use the trampoline as a way of the dc 'blowing off steam' so they can concentrate better, they must use the trampoline in a considerate way - ie, jumping but no shouting, screeching, yelling, etc.

He can't expect/demand that you completely alter the use of the garden to suit his schedule and lifestyle, but you cannot expect to use the garden without exercising consideration for neighbours.

Maybe you need to move the trampoline to another part of the garden and he needs to move his office to another part of his house. And, I'm only half joking....

I have just put this to DH (as I think the guy is being very unreasonable).

DH said to tell him to pee off!! (he didn't quite say it like that though ).

Your children should be allowed to play in their own garden when and where they like.

Good post Earlybird.

Traffic - you don't allow yours outside if neighbours are eating out there , blimey.

Earlybird speaks good sense!

The noise kids make on trampolines is a pet hate of mine - it's just soooooo piercing. We have one, but the kids know that if they make too much noise they have to come off - as someone said, it's just good discipline and respect for others.

Most people seem to have a good sense of 'common courtesy' around here

e.g.

• no mowing/power tools very early/ very late
• no bonfires until early evening (when washing is in)
• general good 'neighbourliness'

school children have regular breaks during the day when they are allowed to run about and make noise - it's to be expected

i do agree though that really noisy behaviour (screaming, loud yelling for no reason) should be discouraged - at any time - it is only considerate

I am not sure that I believe that the children are making so much noise that he cant hear on the phone.

I work at home, and my and the neighbours children play outside. I can do telephone conferences with no problem. Does he have double glazing? If so, then he should be ok.

One of our neighbours made similar complaints - turned out, that he wanted to work on his balcony, and he was complaining about the children playing in teh gardens, during the afternoon.

I dont think it is reasonable to expect children not to be able to play, because people are now working from home.

If you want to offer a compromise, how about the children not playing on the trampoline in the mornings?

our neighbours had a trampoline and the kids make a right racket on it. also if they're home schooled and it goes on throughout the day i'm not suprised it's annoying him. move it and tell the kids to quiten it down a bit during working hours maybe?

IlanaK - I think you went wrong when you decided to have the trampoline so far away from your house. You have 100 ft garden, what was wrong with halfway?

Perhaps it would help if you tried to think about it from his point of view? He presumably has been working from home for a while, and may have built his extension specifically for that purpose. He already has big problems with your existing neighbours from the noise 4pm onwards (and probably more, given that you say it is a long running dispute with SS etc involved). Now you have moved in, presumably there was a fair amount of noise when your gardeners were working, and then he has probably felt that he has had the week from hell. If the noise is such that he can't work, then that is going to be a huge issue for him, as presumably that is how he earns his living. So it is hardly surprising that he has not reacted well. Given that you have a very long garden placing the trampoline close to his garden could seem pretty thoughtless.

I've worked from home fairly frequently and on the whole suburban areas are very quiet during the day, you wouldn't expect lots of loud children outside of school hours, as home schooling is still really very unusual (much more so than working from home).

I can also see how frustrating it is for you, but surely some compromise could be reached.

I'm so glad you aren't my neighbour and I'm at the number of posters saying he'll have to put up with it. Why should he?

We had 3 of these damn trampolines appear last year- next door either side and over the back. The racket made by the actual bouncing plus the screeching that goes with it is unbearable. To get that all day long 7 days a week is a form of torture.

I didn't allow my 4 children to scream or screech in the garden when they were little. It really isn't necessary or fair.

I am surprised this thread is still going. I have only just come back to it.

There is a general assumption that my children are out there all day everyday screaming. That is just not the case as I explained to him. It was an unusual week. The rest of last week we were out. Even in the hot weather today, the kids were on the trampoline only a little and were not screaming.

The main screaming comes from my toddler, but also the noise levels raise significantly when we have friends over which is certainly not something that happens everyday.

Incidentally, my husband has been over twice now to speak with him about it and both times the neighbour has said he is too busy to talk to him. I am sorry to say that I think this guy is just a fairly intolerant neighbour.

We have decided to keep the trampoline exactly where it is, we have spoken with our children about noise, and we will continue with our normal life where we are home somedays and out others and have friends on and off. My husband will continue trying to speak with him about it and will again try to find out if there are times of day that he really does not want anyone out there (though I have already asked this). I think overall we are being reasonable and considerate neighbours which is all I want from the neighbours around me.

I am also willing to bet that double glazing or no, your neighbour has been working with windows open due to the recent heat. If that is the case, any excessive noise from your garden is more intrusive.

why would someone working from home expect it to be quiet 9-4??? Surely there are going to be people in residential areas with pre-school age children???

its just about consideration on your side - which i am sure you are now.

and some tolerance on his - which if he has a stick up his arse about it - will not get solved

toccata = quite right. But it is what he has been used to

earlybird, I dont think anyone has the right to work at home with windows open, or on the balcony, or in the garden, and expect total quiet. No doubt his workplace offers an office, where he can get total quiet.
If he wants to work at home, he should provide himself with a suitable office, and one of the basic requirements should surely be, that it's got adequate noise-proofing.

One of our neighbours has this vision of himself working on the balcony at home, a sort of ideal lifestyle - but that is not what working at home is about. You have to be realistic about the different environment, not just expect it to work for you the same as the office but better.

How are our children going to grow up, if they arent allowed to play, because it interferes with adult work?

nighbynight - I wasn't suggesting that the neighbour should expect to work in peace with windows/doors open. I was simply suggesting that without the sound 'barrier' of closed windows/double glazing, he may be even more sensitive to outside noise...which in turn could explain his lack of tolerance.

yes, sorry, I didnt mean to make my post sound like an attack on you!

I was making the point, that working at home is not what it's often portrayed as, the perfect lifestyle etc, and he ought to invest in a good working environment, that includes soundproofing.

Sorry but I think that you do have to respect his view on this. It must be incredibly difficult if he has to work at home and is really disturbed by this.

FWIW I am living somewhere at the moment where it is really difficult for my toddler and generally make noise - I just go to the park.....

Looking at his extension, I seriously doubt it has double glazing. However, he has told us that it is being rebuilt soon due to subsidence issues. I certainly hope he thinks about sound proofing when he does that.

Just so you all don't think I am a terrible neighbour, I had told the kids they could go outside on the trampoline this morning at 10am (I said this yesterday) rather than 9 am as it was Sunday. However, terrible neighbours had a really loud party in the garden last night until all hours and I knew that grumpy neighbour would have got no sleep as his bedroom is on that side. So we kept the kids quiet and off the trampoline until after lunch. We ARE considerate, but I am not willing to keep my kids in all day or off the trampoline just because he wants it quiet.

sorry - meant to say .."where it is really difficult for my toddler to generally make noise..."

Noise is noise no matter what is causing it.
Having experience of the influx of trampolines in gardens and the noise created by children especially when groups are playing I would in a way support the neighbour;I do not accept his reasoning though.

During both winter and summer I suffer from horrendous noise from these dangerous toys. At times I am concerned when I see the number of kids on at one time. Has no-one heard of the accidents sustained when more than one child is on the equipment.

The noise limits my pleasure in sitting in my garden, reading or watching t.v. or having conversations in my house with any window at all open both winter and summer. Sometimes until 10 p.m. at night when the weather is fair. Would you put up with someone playing loud music or a dog barking for several hours every day and at weekends that basically limits your own rights to enjoy your own property. I very much doubt it. Why does everyone now adays feel that anyone's problem should be accepted by absolutely everyone else.

Have a word with the neighbour and agree reasonable times for noisy activities.