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Original poster

is it a good idea so young?

87 replies

Ryoko · 02/05/2010 20:58

I have not had the baby yet it was due the 28th of April but hasn't come out yet.

anyway my other half is off work in the last week of June and wants to take the baby with him to see his parents.

now they live 4-5 hours away in Cornwall.

would it be a good idea to take a baby that young to cornwall for a couple of days or not?.

I'm not keen on the idea although it will be sleeping in the same cot as he will be taking that with him (as it's a travel cot anyway).

OP posts:
Glycine · 02/05/2010 22:26

Hi
we moved house when dd was about 8 weeks old and had to make a 5 hr journey. I was worried about her sitting in a car seat for that long so we bought a lie flat car seat.
Also would be worried about smoking and cot death.
Definitely get patents to stay with you or in a hotel.

NonnoMum · 02/05/2010 22:37

And by the way, good luck with the birth. Sorry if I (we?) sound bossy, we are just trying to help you out a bit. It sounds like your DP is suggesting taking the baby for a little holiday and you are looking for advice on how to tell him you'd rather not (??). You are the mum and for the first few weeks, you are allowed to be the bossy one.

Then you can get on Mumsnet and boss around other soon-to-be mums!

harimo · 02/05/2010 22:38

I'd just like to say: Both DS and DD were FF from birth (well, mixed, but both did have formula) and I also transported DS up to Newcastle from London at 2 weeks old (took about 8 hours though, and really took it out of him, poor soul!!)

I'm not being bossy, just realistic.

I took DS back on the train, as I wouldn't put him through the car journey again. At lesat on the train, I could pick him up, cuddle him, change him etc.,

With DD, I WAS more bossy - And made it clear that if you wanted to see my darling daughter, then YOU would be doing the travelling!!!

Interested in this thread?

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Families
thinker · 02/05/2010 22:43

If you are worried about cot death have you thought of using a breathing monitor. You can place it under a travel cot mattress and if the baby does stop breathing it goes off like a smoke alarm. Just gives you peace of mind throughout the night. If the baby was to stop breathing you would have a chance to do something rather than finding them in the morning when it is too late xx

SpringHeeledJack · 02/05/2010 22:45

at NonnoMum

Spatchadoodledo · 02/05/2010 22:48

I wasnt being bf mafia - apols if you thought I was..I was just concerned about the amount Op would need to pump and the storage of the milk for the trip. I CANT be bf mafia as I couldnt BF myself!!

Nothing else I have said I think sounded bossy.

OP - if you are uncomfy about the decision, then wait until bubs is born. I imagine atm you are quite impatient and stressed and in a better place to decide once bubs is born. Tell your DP and Ils you will make the decision later on and dont let them push you around!

piscesmoon · 03/05/2010 08:06

Sorry Ryoko-we are all writing having had babies and forgetting that (most of us)were very naive and had no idea what it would be like in reality. I thought that a baby would be a doddle after a class of 30 children.....how wrong I was!
Don't agree to anything at all until the baby is born-say you will wait and see. I guarantee that you will look back at this thread and laugh!!

CarmenSanDiego · 03/05/2010 08:23

Ryoko,

Don't agree to anything now. You honestly have no idea how you will feel after you have the baby.

There's no way on the planet I could have left any of my babies for even a few hours at four weeks. Additionally, if your birth doesn't go quite to plan, you may feel physically unwell or tired.

That said, I took DD2 to France when she was 3 weeks old and it was fine. I breastfed and it was really easy to feed her as and when she needed.

Do think hard about your choice not to breastfeed though, especially if you are particularly worried about cot death. Breastfeeding does offer significantly increased protection against SIDS. There is also growing evidence that breastfeeding can work towards neutralising damage caused by passive smoking. (And not really bothered if I get accused of 'being bf mafia' - the term 'bf mafia' is way more offensive than calmly making a suggestion.)

skidoodly · 03/05/2010 08:37

8 week old babies are quite portable, but such a long journey will have to be broken, for feeds at the very least. I had a big giant baby that slept through a 2.5 hour car journey at 6 weeks, but she was my second so everything a lot more relaxed.

I don't think being away from the baby for 3 days is at all practical. You will be super bored at home just pumping all the time even if you could bear to let them go without you.

Original poster
Ryoko · 03/05/2010 22:16

There seems to be a lot of people here who don't read properly and make judgments from assumptions.

Nothing wrong with my Travel Cot it's a good quality M&P one with an extra M&P mattress to put on top of the one that comes with it .

I will get home from the hospital via public transport thats what us serfs do who can't afford cars, I doubt a mini cab would take us without a car seat anyway.

OP posts:
cat64 · 03/05/2010 22:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Trafficcone · 03/05/2010 22:56

Why buy a decent mattress to put over a travel cot one rather than buy a proper cot? Why buy a travel cot when you're so anti the 'pain in the arse' of travelling. I'm also struggling to see how your partner would fit a full size cot mattress in the car?? They're pretty big and can't easily be folded.

All sounds a bit odd to me. And public transport home from hospital???? Surely everyone can save for a taxi or has a friend or neighbour who can drive them home.
I was a lone parent on benefits when I had my first. I had a proper cot, car seat and arranged a lift. No way would I have lugged him and all our bags home on the bus.

NonnoMum · 03/05/2010 22:57

Ryoko, hope you are feeling OK (you might be in labour - how exciting!)

Just another little point is that you may still be being regularly visited by the MW/HV at that stage. MyDC3 had jaundice and all sorts of little things in the first few weeks (not meant to scare you - it's just that babies can need all sorts of health checks in the first few weeks) and I was visited/taking him somewhere every other day for quite a while. Would be hard to access healthcare out of area.

Do hope all goes well.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 03/05/2010 23:11

We took my son when he was 18 days old to my parents for Xmas..... a 250 mile journey. Not my wisest move as I nearly collapsed with exhaustion - but at least the grandparents did the night feed and I got a whole nights sleep!!

everythingiseverything · 04/05/2010 10:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

foureleven · 04/05/2010 10:24

I was going to give my opinion that at 4 weeks I would have sold my soul to the devil himself to have my baby taken away for a few days.. Youll be so shattered it'll be fabulous... sleeeeeepp!

Then i read that they smoke and I would never let my baby sleep in a smokey house or be cared for by smokers for longer than a short visit.

foureleven · 04/05/2010 10:25

Oh but yes, as others have said best wait and see how you feel once youve had it.

I thought Id want to be joined at the hip to my baby but when she was born I didnt feel like that at all.

If you commit to something now, and then you change your mind its added pressure that you dont need at such a difficult time .

glastocat · 04/05/2010 10:45

There is absolutely no farking way I could have got on a bus after giving birth,certainly not carrying a baby.Surely you can get a taxi, or get a friend to give you a lift. You must consider the possibility that you will still be in pain, or bleeding heavily. Hopefully this won't be the case, but it could be.

And I agree with everyone else about your OP, its a crazy idea.Get them to come to you instead.

foureleven · 04/05/2010 10:51

Taxis home after giving birth should be funded by NHS no?

I dont go along with all this, you cant do anything for weeks after giving birth crap but no one should have to get on a bus.

For a start youll have about 10 bags and a piles ring with you if youre anything like me!

cat64 · 04/05/2010 19:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Butterbur · 04/05/2010 19:29

What everyone else said about the separation.

But maybe in the end, the baby will help break the ice with the PIL you don't know very well. It'll give you a common interest, unless they are complete loons.

Personally I think it's best to get on good terms with PIL if you can - one less thing to row with OH about.

overmydeadbody · 04/05/2010 19:30

well you asked what others would do, so here's my answer:

I would not be parted from any baby of mine at such a oung age.

You need to either go too or have your ILs to stay at yours.

Original poster
Ryoko · 04/05/2010 20:56

I have a travel cot because we don't have room for a cot they are too long to fit in our bedroom.

We are not going to buy a car seat to fit in a car we have never seen, sods law dictates it will not fit properly, we do not know lots of people with cars to ferry us about in, we only know two people with cars neither of which we have seen because they both bought new cars within a week of each other.

We don't expect his father to come here and drive back, normally my other half takes the train, his dad offered because of the travel cot and buggy.

OP posts:
NonnoMum · 04/05/2010 21:04

Ryoko - how you doing? Any twinges?

Just to let you know that the first stage car seats, 0-9 months and rear facing, are fairly universal. You just put them in the car and a normal seat belt goes round them. You just have to make sure they are NOT used in a seat with airbags. I'm about to take one to the charity shop, I could possibly post to you if you like?

Naetha · 04/05/2010 21:10

Just going from your posts Ryoko, I'd certainly not agree to anything until your baby is at least a month old, and then see how you feel. Your hormones will be so up in the air until then that there's no point in committing to anything. Also if you do agree to anything before then, you may find it puts extra pressure on you - certainly not what you need when dealing with a new baby.

I'd suggest that your PILs come and visit you for the first 6 months - stay in a hotel/B&B if there's no room at yours.

DD is 5mo, and I've only just taken her on a long-distance trip, and tbh I won't be doing any more for a long while. Even then that was only 3 hours in the car each way.

As for car seats, I'm sure if you have a look on google, you can find which cars certain car seats fit.

Personally though, I can't imagine you'd be in any frame of mind to let your baby travel without you at such a young age.

Whatever you decide, make sure you stick to your guns and do what you're happy with - don't feel pressured into doing something you're not happy with.