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Original poster

is it a good idea so young?

87 replies

Ryoko · 02/05/2010 20:58

I have not had the baby yet it was due the 28th of April but hasn't come out yet.

anyway my other half is off work in the last week of June and wants to take the baby with him to see his parents.

now they live 4-5 hours away in Cornwall.

would it be a good idea to take a baby that young to cornwall for a couple of days or not?.

I'm not keen on the idea although it will be sleeping in the same cot as he will be taking that with him (as it's a travel cot anyway).

OP posts:
Spatchadoodledo · 02/05/2010 20:59

Are you going too? Are you going to Breastfeed?

SuziKettles · 02/05/2010 21:01

Are you not going too?

I wouldn't be too bothered about travelling with a 4wk old baby - but that is hugely dependent on how you feel/recovery etc.

I would have no way felt able to leave my baby at that age though - again, dependent on your personal feelings. I was bf so it wouldn't have been practical, but even if ff I still couldn't have done it.

thisisyesterday · 02/05/2010 21:01

well, I can't see any problem if you're going too?
i personally wouldn't have let anyone take any of my babies away from me at that age though

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mazzystartled · 02/05/2010 21:01

I very much doubt that you will want to be separated from your new baby for that length of time so soon.

If you are going too, no problem.

Original poster
Ryoko · 02/05/2010 21:09

I wasn't planing on going ( not BF got a pump tho).

Thing is I am worried about cot death and they have a cat and dog there and they smoke, they smoke outside when we go there but the place would still smell of it I think.

OP posts:
Spatchadoodledo · 02/05/2010 21:12

Ok, well tbh i dont think you will be able to pump enough for that length of time away (you willalso have to continue to pump while they are away).

Why were you not planning on going?

I think, well i would have troubl anyway, that ewhen your bub arrives you will struggle being seperated for that long.

SuziKettles · 02/05/2010 21:13

Don't make a decision until the baby is born. I'm presuming you don't have any other children?

Seriously, you won't know how you'll feel until the baby is actually here.

I've no doubt (unless you know better) that the baby's father won't have his or her best interests at heart and will be perfectly safe, but it's highly likely that you'll not want to be separated from your baby that early on.

compo · 02/05/2010 21:15

No you either all go or his parents come to you

thisisyesterday · 02/05/2010 21:18

why would you not go?? your baby is going to be tiny and need you very much

Original poster
Ryoko · 02/05/2010 21:25

It would be for about 3 days, including the traveling down there and back.

I don't like going there, I feel bored and out of place due to the fact I don't know them that well (he only goes to see em twice a year and I don't tend to go with him) and theres nothing there at all, pavement on one side of the road that switches sides every so often, steep hills and a retail park with an Argos, shoe shop and Tesco, really boring and we don't have a car so no where to go unless his dad drives us to newquay or something.

OP posts:
harimo · 02/05/2010 21:25

Honestly, I think you will find it extremely hard to let your baby go with out you at such an age.

I couldn't take the dog for a walk without taking my baby with me at that age.

In fact, my PFB is coming up two now, and I still don't like my DH taking him to town (for an hour ) on his own.

I don't think I've been without DD (now nearly 9 Months) for more than a few hours.

I think the strenght of your emotions might get the better of you!

alphamummy · 02/05/2010 21:28

I dont think its a good idea, you need to bond with your baby. Its a vital time for you and baby for attachment.

IMO 4 weeks is far too young for he/she to be away from you. They are only liitle once! My DD is 12 weeks and i wouldnt even think about leaving her for more than a night with DH.

RE: the smoking thing i would also be worried about this, i would not my newborn to a house where people smoking inside for an afternoon never mind a week!

I also it is a very long way for a newborn to travel. Its not a case of popping them in the car seat and away you go! they need feeding, changing, winding, cuddling! so a 4 hour journey could easily turn into 6+ hours! Also babies shouldnt be in car seats for more than 1-2 hours at a time, its not a natural position. I think your dp is underestimating the journey. Its silly to make such a trip if its not an emergency.

Why can pil not come to you for a visit?

Good luck with the birth

harimo · 02/05/2010 21:29

Sorry...

You would let your 4 week old go away for 3 days - 9-10 hours in a car (very dehydrating) because you find his parents house boring???????????????????????

Do you REALLY think you will be popping to the retail park???????????????????????

Am I in some parrallel universe????????????????

Spatchadoodledo · 02/05/2010 21:30

Maybe use the birth of your child as a way of getting to know them better???

if you are bored, make sure each morning you walk down to the paper shop and get the paper and then sit on the couch and read that and/or a good book. Catch up on sleep. You dont have to leave the house to be 'not bored'.

But go. Make an effort with his parents. They are, boring or not, your childs grandparents and I can almost guarantee that you will be seeing the number of visits increase from here on in!

Spatchadoodledo · 02/05/2010 21:32

yes, actually, the pp make a good point re the length of the journey...get pil up to you instead.

thisisyesterday · 02/05/2010 21:34

agree 100% with spatch

i can almost guarantee that with a small baby you will NOT be bored.
and if you are you can talk to his parents, go for walks, get his dad to drive you to newquay or whatever!

i think it's so lovely to have grandparents who are/want to be involved... take this opportunity to make that happen perhaps?

cat64 · 02/05/2010 21:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

harimo · 02/05/2010 21:40

Or consider taking the train. together.
Anything that doesn't mean your baby is stuck in a car seat for hours on end.

believe me. you will NOT be bored with a newborn. Knackered... YES. Bored... NO!!

Whatever you do... do NOT agree to your OH /DH taking the baby away. I think you will have a MASSIVE change of heart once your baby arrives.

I had my babies in the portland and they have a nursery there so that the new mums can get some sleep. I HATED being without him and I could spot him the second I looked into the nursery. I just KNEW MY baby.

WIth my DD, I was stronger (second baby and all that) and I didn't let them take her away from me at all... She never left me

annh · 02/05/2010 21:41

Umm, you would be the only mother of a 4-5 weeks old I have met who could claim to be "bored". You will be feeding the baby lots and using any spare time to rest or sleep. Worrying about not having anywhere to go except a retail park will be bottom of the list of worries. You sound a bit selfish tbh in potentially denying your partner's parents a chance to see the baby for that extended period because you don't "like going there". I think you and your partner are also slightly deluded in thinking that you will be able to be apart from your baby for that length of time, that you will be able to express enough milk for several days in the four week span after the birth and that your partner will be in a good position to cope with a bf baby single-handedly for that time. Why not park the plan for the moment and see how you feel in a few weeks time?

thisisyesterday · 02/05/2010 21:41

agree re transportability of newborns too, although it does depend on what the baby is like

with my first we regularly made trips down to devon to see my partners parents. he used to just sleep for most of the journey (6 hours)

ds2 was a screamer,so we didn't go so often, but again he did sleep a reasonable amount in the car

Original poster
Ryoko · 02/05/2010 21:41

Hmm well his dad would have to drive down here in the first place to pick us up, (as I said we don't have a car) which also means they have to get a car seat, we can't buy one for a car we have never seen (they just bought a new well second hand car recently) if a baby can't sit in a car seat for more then 1-2 hours thats a serious problem it would be a pain in the arse to get off the motorway every hour and a half to give it a rest.

The smoking thing, is the chance of cot death increased by people smoking round the baby or being in a house that smells of it? I know they will not smoke around the baby at all but there is 6 years worth of 3 peoples nicotine on those walls and carpets.

OP posts:
harimo · 02/05/2010 21:45

Would it not be better for your DH's parents to come and stay with you (or a hotel near you?)

I can't see it would be much more expensive if they would have to drive to and from Devon and buy a car seat?

I don't know much about smoking / cot death, so not really sure I can comment.. but I know I wouldn't let anyone smoke around my babies.

harimo · 02/05/2010 21:46

ANd, no, a baby can't sit in a car seat for more than an hour or so.

thisisyesterday · 02/05/2010 21:46

yeah i have to admit i wouldn't be happy having it in a smoky house

could you stay in a hotel or something nearby? or invite them to come to yours?

BertieBotts · 02/05/2010 21:48

Infant carseats which fit with a seatbelt will fit in pretty much any car, so don't worry about that. But what were you thinking of transporting him/her in??

The smoking risk of cot death applies if anyone in the household is a smoker, including if they only smoke outside. If they normally smoke in the house that would probably pose an increased risk too, even if they stop while you are there. I wouldn't be happy about it (I did take my newborn to a house where the friends smoked but they only smoked outside, never in the house)

Yes it's a pain to stop every hour and a half, but it's a baby! You have to expect some kind of disruption, sorry! You will want to stop to change and feed him/her anyway.