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Horrible smacking comment on Facebook

30 replies

CarmenSanDiego · 04/12/2009 10:25

Yeah, I know, Facebook.

But an acquaintance set her status to 'Can understand the temptation of the tree to an 18 month old but... would have thought all the smacks would put her off.. No chance...'

I just feel so at the thought of (repeatedly) smacking a toddler for playing with a Christmas tree and all her friends were agreeing with her. I commented, 'Smacking a toddler for looking at a Christmas tree sounds a bit harsh!'

To be honest, I don't really care if I don't talk again to this person and she lives a long way from me but should I have commented? It feels like something I can't stand back from. Thoughts?

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thedollshouse · 04/12/2009 10:27

She may not have meant it literally. People write some daft stuff on fb.

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CarmenSanDiego · 04/12/2009 10:29

Mm, I'm sort of hoping she'll clarify that now I've commented.

Or maybe it'll make her think a little more about what she's doing. I used to work with her and she was a bit young and naive. She left to be a nanny.

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YanknCock · 04/12/2009 10:31

FWIW, I agree with you, but probably wouldn't have bothered commenting. You've now essentially publicly said 'I think your parenting is bad'. Fair enough if you never want to talk to her again, but if that's the case why bother saying anything? Comments on facebook are just not the place for thoughtful discussion--I doubt you'll change her mind. If anything, she might get more defensive, especially as her friends seem to be backing her up.

I'd say hide her status updates or delete her altogether.

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CarmenSanDiego · 04/12/2009 10:32

Her mates are all piling in with how 'they need to learn'

What can you do?

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CarmenSanDiego · 04/12/2009 10:35

Thanks for the comments.

I think I will unfriend her if it kicks off.

But I felt like ignoring it is tantamount to standing by while someone does something awful.

I disagree with all smacking but would usually let it lie. This just seemed particularly sad given the age of the child and the circumstances.

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RainRainGoAway · 04/12/2009 10:37

I think you have made yourself clear. Its a bloody wierd thing to post anyway.
I hit my child at christmas...fa lala la la la la la lah.

Definitely delete her from FB

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Greensleeves · 04/12/2009 10:38

god how VILE some people are

well done for saying something

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VictorHugo · 04/12/2009 10:39

No I think you were right to post - it MIGHT just make her feel about it or think a bit more about how there could be an alternative method of dealing with it.

If not, at least someone stood up and said 'it doesn't have to be like this'.

Well done.

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VictorHugo · 04/12/2009 10:41

(speaking as someone who TRIED smacking with ds1, and it DIDN'T WORK - and made us both feel terrible, and would not dream of it with ds2...)

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lucykate · 04/12/2009 10:41

have to admit, i tapped the cat on the bum one year when she scaled the christmas tree and brought it down for the 5th time, but never a child! christmas is for children after all. bet she's got colour co-ordinated decorations and didn't allow the dc's to help decorate it as they wouldn't get it evenly spaced.

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VictorHugo · 04/12/2009 10:43

Hmm. I have booted the cat out of her catflap for various things...always careful not to cause actual injury...and it doesn't work on her either!

I didn't let either of the children help with the tree but in hindsight I should have kept the glass baubles in their box and just let them cover it with plastic stuff.

It would have been less contentious.

However I still cling to it as 'mummy's thing' which I shouldn't really.

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CarmenSanDiego · 04/12/2009 10:44

I love it, RainRain. Wish I'd posted that instead!

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Meglet · 04/12/2009 10:44

I would have commented. Remember you can block her if it gets silly.

I regret not commenting on a few mean statuses in the past.

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CarmenSanDiego · 04/12/2009 10:45

Now I have to figure out what to do with MY tree when I get it. My 11mo is into everything and I don't have a playpen any more. Hmmm...

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wukter · 04/12/2009 10:46

People exagerate on FB. It's likely a tap on the hand accompanied by "No-No", rather than full on screaming and slapping. Which is not vile.

I wouldn't have commented tbh.

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ChickandDuck · 04/12/2009 10:54

It's horrid - I saw this as the status of one of my friends friends (she had commented on it) if that makes sense ?!

Left xxx to cry herself to sleep last night and found her asleep on the floor behind the safety gate...bless her

Made my stomach turn.

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Poohbearsmom · 04/12/2009 11:00

I think you were right to comment what she said was horrible and agree with jus deleting her if she kicks off... Jus direct her this way first, so we can hav a 'chat' with her about her parenting choices with her little 18 month old if she likes...

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Greensleeves · 04/12/2009 11:06

It is vile to hit a small child however hard you hit

And weird to brag about it on Facebook.

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CarmenSanDiego · 04/12/2009 11:10

Still waiting for her comment before I delete her. I'd love for her to learn from Mumsnet but I suspect if she uses anything it's babycentre or netmums.

Awful status Chickandduck. I can't believe some of the stuff that friends-of-friends come out with sometimes.

n its uslly ritten lk this lollll

(snobby)

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MmeLindt · 04/12/2009 11:10

You were right to comment.

An 18mth old is not able to understand the consequences of playing with the Xmas tree. And it is stupid to think that if you put a sparkly shiny tree up that your toddler is not going to show an interest in it.

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ScreaminEagle · 04/12/2009 11:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MollieO · 04/12/2009 11:19

When ds was very small I got a very small tree that sat on a side table - so out of his reach. It seemed weird having a tree that small but it was definitely the best thing and it was only for his first Christmas.

Fortunately none of my friends post stuff like that on fb or else I would say something. Instead they all do the nausous boasting about their fantastic children/life comments!

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JackTheHallsWithBauersOfHolly · 04/12/2009 11:43

I have removed 4 'friends' from work from FB because of their status's regarding their kids.
Don't feel bad about it, I tend to take the cowards way of commenting and then deleting them.

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ChickandDuck · 04/12/2009 11:48

It shocks me that a) they do it and b) they brag on FB about it. Why does discovering her DD asleep on the floor after crying herself to sleep warrant a status update and a 'ah bless' ?? I can't comprehend?!

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JoeyBettany · 04/12/2009 11:56

This is reminds me of why I left Babycentre. I logged on the other day to see what's occurring in my old birth group and one mum had posted about how she felt really bad for screaming at her 10 month old.

There then followed lots of comments in the vein of' don't worry hun, they need to learn discipline, you can't help getting cross with them . . . '

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