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Original poster

WWYD? Clear thinking needed please.

31 replies

MarioChristmas · 30/11/2009 16:15

DS who is 8 has a carol concert on the 10th December, where he is singing a small solo and has a solo reading.

Unfortunately it clashes with a concert I have tickets for (Lily Allen) and I am going with a friend.

I feel awful if I miss DS's concert, especially as I missed last year as DH didnt get back from work in time, but I dont want to let my friend down.

WWYD??

OP posts:
andgodcreatedwoman · 30/11/2009 16:18

Do you need to ask?

oopsandbabycoconut · 30/11/2009 16:19

A friend would understand an 8 year old would just think he wasn't important enough!

Lifeinagoldfishbowl · 30/11/2009 16:19

Go to Lilly Allens and record DS's

SolidGoldBangers · 30/11/2009 16:21

Is it really unfeasible to do both? Kids' concerts are usually over by about 7.30.

ABitHalloweenBatty · 30/11/2009 16:22

I would go and see my ds if it were me. I would let a friend down over any of my ds's without question. They are more important to me.

Original poster
MarioChristmas · 30/11/2009 16:22

andgodcreatedwoman - I hoped that someone would tell me to go to Lily Allen, and it wouldnt be a big deal if I missed DS in his concert

OP posts:
pushmepullyou · 30/11/2009 16:22

I would go to the carol concert. Would be worried about how DD would feel if I chose listening to Lily Allen over listening to her.

I know what you mean about letting your friend down (perhaps she has another friend who could go with her?), but tbh would be more worried about letting my DD down.

theminniebauble · 30/11/2009 16:23

Lily Allen will most likely play another concert in her career so you can go then.

Your DS won't have another shot at festive stardom aged 8. Who knows if he will get picked again next year?

Original poster
MarioChristmas · 30/11/2009 16:24

No, I cant do both. I am going to text my friend to see if she wants my other ticket for another friend. I dont think I would enjoy myself if I missed DS, and I think he would be upset.

OP posts:
pushmepullyou · 30/11/2009 16:24

Oops DS, sorry

andgodcreatedwoman · 30/11/2009 16:25

Well, someone has.

Not me though.

Just think of your son bringing this up in therapy in years to come.

Although, if you can go to the carol service then leg it to Lilly Allen I'd do that.

Jackstini · 30/11/2009 16:26

How far away is Lily concert? Could you go after DS's concert so you miss the warm up band but just get there for the good bit?
If not - no contest really, (which you knew before you posted really!)

TheMightyToosh · 30/11/2009 16:28

Good lord, I can't believe you are asking this, OP.

I can't imagine how heartbreaking it would be for an 8 yr old to do something as huge as this (and it is huge at 8 yrs old) and for his mum to choose to go to another concert instead.

Talk about feeling rejected. And even worse given that you missed last year's concert too.

Surely your friend has another friend she can take? But even if she doesn't, sh!t happens, and she should understand that you have to put your children first.

She is old enough to figure something out and not take it to heart, your DS isn't. He should be the priority

kidcreoleandthecoconuts · 30/11/2009 16:29

You have to go to your DS's concert! No question.
One year when I was at primary school I had a little solo singing part and I remember the teacher asking me if my mum was coming to watch me and I had to say no. As my mum drank too much and didn't really support me in anything I did. I was soooo embarrassed .

BitOfFun · 30/11/2009 16:30

I would go to Lily Allen and get a doting grandparent to attend the concert with a camcorder.

Original poster
MarioChristmas · 30/11/2009 16:32

Please dont think I am a meanie

I had made up my mind but then DH said I was being a martyr

OP posts:
Original poster
MarioChristmas · 30/11/2009 16:33

BOF - doting Grandparent was supposed to do that last year, but instead I got sound but no picture as they couldnt work our camcorder.

OP posts:
Ivykaty44 · 30/11/2009 16:37

my mum and dad just never came to my christmas concerts at school - I have not been scared for life - couldn't give a monkeys back then and it really didn't matter to me, i knew they loved me and it just wasn't there thing, but tbh the concerts a lot of the time are really boring - sorry but they often are........

Lily Allen would win in my book

I go to my dd xmas plays etc but if I am not there someone goes to one of the shows - BUT not all of them

BitOfFun · 30/11/2009 16:41

Och, I'd go anyway- as long as someone in the family goes to see your ds and he gets praise heaped on him, I can't see that he is going to be scarred for life. Especially if you are straightforward about why you won't be going, and don't give him the impression that you are guilty and he needs to see it as "letting him down". Children are quite robust really- if you make it no biggie, I'm sure he'll be fine. Make him rehearse it for you before you go out, give him a hug and tell him he'll knock em dead, and skip along on your merry way.

TheMightyToosh · 30/11/2009 16:51

I suppose all children are different, but I know that an 8-yr-old me would have been crushed by something like this.

OP - only you know how your DS might feel if you go to Lily Allen instead. But I definitely don't think you are being a martyr, so ignore your DH.

EvilTwins · 30/11/2009 16:55

OMG. Go to Lily Allen for goodness' sake. Your 8 year old will have forgotten about it by Christmas day. I was a real drama queen at school - often got little solos and things, and absolutely LIVED for school plays and concerts. Couldn't tell you though whether or not my parents came to them all. What I do know is that my parents were brilliantly supportive and loving all of the time, and therefore I wouldn't have felt in the least bit rejected if they'd not been able to show up.

Mums are allowed a life.

Ivykaty44 · 30/11/2009 16:58

ask your ds to give you a private preormance just for you - much better than being at the back of a hall and trying to see what is happening through all the other parents heads...

upahill · 30/11/2009 17:08

I have got tickets for Frankmusik next week when, Yep, it's the concert.
Nor Frank for me then. Without a question the tickets are going even if I don't get a buyer DS is more important.

It is not a tough call at all. He is doing a solo reading and a solo - good for him. You go and watch it and tell him how good he was on the way home!!

A few weeks ago yongest DS made a comment that I never went to school things. I have never missed a pantomine, special mass or celebration. It turns out that I missed a parents evening several years ago because I was away with work (But met up wiht the teacher later to get the low down) and I missd a sports day two years ago because I cuoldn't get out of a session I was contracted to do. Kids don't forget (Wish schools would give more notice on dates though!!)
PS your not being a martyr -- you're being a mum

HuwEdwards · 30/11/2009 17:27

I'm guessing you're generally supportive of your DS in school, so you have my blessing to go see Lily.

My parents went to nothing at school, no parents evening, nothing. Never bothered me one bit.

AmericanHag · 30/11/2009 23:49

My parents went to some school stuff, not to others and I'm still here and functioning. So my first response was that you should go to see Lily Allen.

But then you said you thought your DS would be upset. That clinches it and I don't care what your DH says. If it will REALLY bother your little boy, then go to his concert. You don't have to live with Lily Allen for (at least) another ten years.

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