DH just been offered a contract. In Abu Dahbi. Now. I am due any day.

[PavlovtheForgetfulCat]

This morning, he got a call from a friend working for FIFA. Someone walked off site, they need an admin coordinator to go over asap to replace him. Friend has recommended him and the job is him if he wants it.

Working until 24th December.

I was due with our second child last week, no signs of arriving yet.

DH has been out of work since January. This would be a foot in the door for other work. Wages are reasonably good, to be confirmed, but around £150 a day?

We are thinking he wont be required out there like today or tomorrow as it is Eid (sp) there this week. He will be getting the full details this afternoon.

He might miss the birth of his child. I can cope with that. I have someone who will be there with me.

He will be leaving me on my own with DD aged 3 and a newborn. I am not sure I can cope with that.

If he does not take it, he will not be offered a chance with these people again.

WWYD?

We are presuming it is not happening. Perhaps his friend is feeling bad about coming in with a firm offer when it wasn't as he has not made contact.

Well, we have learned something here though. We can talk things through and make rational decisions that we are both happy with. I think it has proven we work as a team when we make decisions and that makes me feel good about us.

Pav, what a lot of soul-searching in one day! I really hope something comes of this for you both, but if it doesn't you've picked out the positives really well.

Oh, and if he does get to go, could he please deck Tierry Henri for the Irish ?

bloody hell, why does life take such topsy turvy routes back to the same place?!!

His friend has said it has been offered to other person. He said it was a shame the baby had arrived, seemed to suggest DH was not committing due to me not having the baby yet! Which makes me as to whether this was ever a real opportunity or whether it was one that came up for several people, of which DH was one, but his friend did not make it clear. Either way, DH told him he was up for it, but needed to talk to me first as it meant leaving me when i was about to pop!

Friend said his recommendaton means that DH will be considered if another opp comes up. But we shall not make any plans!

Poor DH, he gets opportunities, then gets crushed, but as i said before. We now know we can make the decisions we need to make for our family with the support of each other, we were both able to be honest about what we wanted, fears and concerns and ways to overcome them without making the other feel bad.

So, clouds and linings and all. And he will be here for baby's birth afterall!

I would just like to say though -

THANK YOU MN. You have shown that if DH was going, i would have lots of support (not just from RL people), physically from those who were near if possible, but also online.

MNers can be bitchy, argumentative, rude, insulting, in yer face, but, when it counts MNers are the most supportive bunch of 'friends' i have!

what work does he do?

god what a pain, and what a stressful day you've had

Yay for him being about for the birth!

Glad to hear he'll be around for the birth! what a roller coaster!

The offer still stands though, I might need to escape my own family for a day after Xmas as we'll be driving each other mental by then I will definitely be a bus ride from Plym on the 28th-30th, the rest of the time I just was "told" I am having my niece and nephews so my sister can party

hi Pav. I was left last year with a newborn (2wks old) and a 3yo in a cast. DH also went to AD. You can survive it.

what industry is your dh in?

DH is actually in the public sector/voluntary industry by experience/career, has a degree in PR. This friend has been working in the music industry for years, and got this break with FIFA in AD in the stadium there doing site coordination or something, and this was an admin role was a general admin/stock/repairs type role preparing for some big football thingy bob in December. It was not specifically DHs 'profession' but as he is out of work and has been for so long, he is not fussy about what he does, hard graft for some good cash would have been fine for him and if it gives him a break into something new, which it would possibly have, then he would have been happy to change direction.

thenewbornnanny we should defintely hook up for coffee! Sounds like you might need a break too, so lets do it!

foxytocin that sounds tough!

It has been a rollercoaster, very much so, and I am a bit annoyed at friend. I suspect he knew all along it was not a formal offer, more DH being 'backup' in case this other guy did not go, he should have been more honest with DH, instead he presented it as 'this job is yours if you want it', then changed it as he went along.

Shame for DH but great for me

foxy did you have good support around? Was your dp/dh working abroad or not present for other reasons that I should butt out of?! I just think to myself, my brother being in the army has spent so much time away from his 3 children, and he has a great family relationship, and so a few weeks away for DH would be a breeze in comparison.

He might get another opp, if so, we now know he can say yes as a provisional, as we have discussed it already now.

Oh god I can't believe after all that your DH isn't going! What a day! Has it not brought on any contractions?!

No contractions! Although we have said that if he went, guaranteed he would be on route to the airport this evening and they would start.

We both feel a little numb really, as we did a LOT of soul searching today, this morning in particular, when it was very real, some tears, some excitement.

Tomorrow is another day, and another opportunity or potential one is always around the corner. We just got to be prepared to take some chances.

You certainly have a good attitude pavlov!

Well at least now you can concentrate on your impending birth. I look forward to reading your labour thread! Hope you go soon. I am very as I love the whole labour and birth excitement. I would have 10 babies just to go through it. Very strange me...

I don't have any help at all as I am forren and dh's family are not local to us.

I did all my shopping online esp groceries.
I used a wrap sling to get everywhere and newborns are very portable especially in a wrap sling. As long as you are willing to wear her most times of the day when they are not feeding it is fairly easy to deal with a toddler and a newborn.

I also had a cleaner come in for 3 hrs a week.

oh it helped that dd1 was in a nursery 2 full days a week.

It also helps a lot to co-sleep.

DH went to Abu Dhabi for work and it took a little while for our residency papers to come through hence the lag before we moved out there.

Foxy - the way you handled it sounds very much like how we would do it. I have a sling already (two in fact!) and intend to carry baby around it in anyway, did that with DD for a long time. We both loved it. Also, DD is in nursery twice a week, and I would consider getting some help if we need it, if the chance does raise it's head again. DHs family are abroad too, and my family (brother) is in Durham and he is away in the army at the moment anyway. But i have some good friends.

At least we now know, if he gets a chance to do it for real, if it actually happens next time, i will cope and that I am prepared to give it a try.

you will do fine then Pavlov. will look out for your birth annoucement.

Hey Pav..just found this thread.. we should try and meet up again soon..let me know when you are up to it!

Devendra - i just found you on another thread too - have said the same thing on that one!!! CAT me your mobile (my sub is out) and once this baby is out we should meet.