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Original poster

DH just been offered a contract. In Abu Dahbi. Now. I am due any day.

68 replies

PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 22/11/2009 10:43

This morning, he got a call from a friend working for FIFA. Someone walked off site, they need an admin coordinator to go over asap to replace him. Friend has recommended him and the job is him if he wants it.

Working until 24th December.

I was due with our second child last week, no signs of arriving yet.

DH has been out of work since January. This would be a foot in the door for other work. Wages are reasonably good, to be confirmed, but around £150 a day?

We are thinking he wont be required out there like today or tomorrow as it is Eid (sp) there this week. He will be getting the full details this afternoon.

He might miss the birth of his child. I can cope with that. I have someone who will be there with me.

He will be leaving me on my own with DD aged 3 and a newborn. I am not sure I can cope with that.

If he does not take it, he will not be offered a chance with these people again.

WWYD?

OP posts:
Original poster
PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 22/11/2009 12:05

I think you are right.

How could I not encourage him. He wants to, I know it. Otherwise he would have said no. I did see him almost say no on the phone and I quickly whispered, arrange to talk to him this afternoon, we will talk about it.

If this does not lead anywhere, it is an immediate income. If it does, then great. I said to him, if he does not go, he will always wonder, what if. Don't want a life of regrets and what ifs. And we are in a unique position to be offered this. I could have still been working, then it would have been impossible. I could have still had a long way to go with the pregnancy, and given how sick i was, he would not have been able to go. We could still be having maor building works going on, then he could not have gone. Or he might have had to decide whether to leave a shitty job for this opp. So, we are thinking, this is something. I like to beleive a little in fate. If i do, then this might be that.

Think we have decided. But will await the details this afternoon before finalising. It might even be pie in the sky as nothing concrete has been confirmed yet.

OP posts:
slim22 · 22/11/2009 12:31

well, fingers crossed!

Even if you don't believe in fate, whichever way you look at it, it's a good opportunity, better than none.

And baby may still come before end of weekend too!

Original poster
PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 22/11/2009 12:40

Baby was due on wednesday just gone, so its a waiting game now!

OP posts:
claired21 · 22/11/2009 12:56

pav Knowing the difficult time you've had during this pregnancy and your DH's employment situation, I think I would make the same choice as you and encourage him to go, but make sure you ask for help & support from everyone you can.

The thought of him returning on Christmas Eve for a lovely family Christmas could be just the reward you both need to survive the few weeks apart. Good luck & let us know what happens!

ErikaMaye · 22/11/2009 12:56

What an awkward situation. I hope the details give you more of an insight. Personally, although the timing is terrible, I think it would be such a missed oppotunity if he didn't take it. I wish I was closer to help you out. x

raggie · 22/11/2009 13:40

Just adding my support pav. Sounds like you have come to your decision and it sounds like it's the right one. There's no doubt it will be HARD...but you are strong and have support in RL and on here of course in any way we can.

Good luck with finding out concrete details this pm.

X

Original poster
PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 22/11/2009 13:50

OK, concrete details. The job is in fact being offered to another person first.

It is £150-200 per day working 6 days a week (with possibility of him needing to work 7 if required)

He will need to leave...TONIGHT for a flight in the morning.

OP posts:
posieparker · 22/11/2009 13:51

Phew OP, I would say he should/must take the job. Seeing his child born or being to support it, I'd say the latter is more crucial!! Make good plans with lots of back ups now. The first two weeks babies spend lots of time sleeping and so it will be good time to think about your three year old and bedtime and how to get around it all... Good luck.

fannybanjo · 22/11/2009 13:52

Does that mean you have to wait and see what the other person says? Bit of a blow if he accepts and you are now let down.

thenewbornnanny · 22/11/2009 13:52

Pav, where in South Devon? I am going to be there (Tav/Ply area) for 2-3 weeks over Xmas and NY)if you need a hand then and I'm in your area please let me know I would love to squeeze a new baby for a few hours or take your 3 yr old to the aquarium and out for tea so you can sleep

Original poster
PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 22/11/2009 13:53

We have said. If the person who is being offered it first is unable to do it, DH will do it, on condition he gets £200.

If he goes wed, or thurs, or friday, he still might miss the birth, so that in itself we have already decided might well happen and we have our heads around that (as much as you can), so i asked if it matters therefore whether it is now (other than now means he is guaranteed to miss the birth) or next week that he goes, other than organising time, or time to stress. Not really. He has a passport and clean clothes, he can get the rest there.

OP posts:
Original poster
PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 22/11/2009 13:54

Newbornnanny - you are lovely! I am in Plym, thank you for your kind offer makes me feel all teary!

OP posts:
fannybanjo · 22/11/2009 13:56

When will you find out if the other person has accepted or not?

Pavlov I have read your builder threads and you seem to be doing wonderfully considering you have had such a stressful few months.

tinkerbellesmuse · 22/11/2009 13:58

This caught my eye cos I am in AD - not that that has any bearing on anything but just wanted to say good luck: it is a hard decision to make but it sounds like going is the right one.

Original poster
PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 22/11/2009 13:58

fannybanjo yes that is exactly what it means! I do not know when we will know, but it had better be soon, seeing as DH will need to actually pack some things etc.

Should have realised there would be a snag. Golden opps do not just walk your way without something needing to give.

If the other person takes it. Decision is made for us isn't it? We were never relying on the money, so if it does not happen, we have lost nothing. If it happens, we will make a sacrifice for a good reason.

posie you are right, a few weeks compared to for example me being able to stay at home the full 9 months with new baby and the chance for DH to get more work. Its a no brainer really isn't it?

OP posts:
Original poster
PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 22/11/2009 14:02

fanny well, you have to get on with things don't you? Life can be a struggle, hard and difficult, depressing and sad because of it, or you can accept that it can be like that and get on with getting through it.

I do not want to look back on my life and see myself unhappy because of the direction life takes sometimes. Or DH. The builder stuff, we are mostly through it apart from the court case. We have our home back.

Regrets, I would like to say we will have few. I have missed opportunities in the past due to fear and the direction in my life is different now. Not worse, but I do regret some choice i made due to fear. We can't do that forever.

Friend is skyping DH as soon as he gets back to his hotel, hopefully he will know by then (hour?)

OP posts:
Original poster
PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 22/11/2009 14:03

tinkerbelle is it as grand there as DHs friend makes out. I looks fab. How hot is it atm? DH likes the heat so he will be fine. I personally melt when it gets above 21!!!

OP posts:
fannybanjo · 22/11/2009 14:12

I am a firm believer in the saying "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger". In the past 3 weeks my SIL's BIL was killed, stabbed 84 times, a man going about his daily life, never harmed anyone. My DH's friend died suddenly from a heart problem aged 34 and my mum's friend died on Friday aged 58 from brain cancer. It really does make you take stock and realise that as long as you are all okay, that is what is important. Everything else is just living life. Nobody ever said life was easy did they?! I would be suspicious if my life had always been hunky dory, I would be waiting for the big bombshell.

MamaG · 22/11/2009 14:13

Pav I think you've made the right decision and FWIW I think you're great.

Not every woman would support her DH like you have at a time like this.

Bloody well done

PartOfTheHumphreysGroup · 22/11/2009 14:23

Would you be disappointed if the other guy takes it now?

Original poster
PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 22/11/2009 14:45

Aw MamaG you just made me cry! I don't consider myself great. Especially over the last few months. I have been a horrid hormonal moaning minnie

humphrey yes I think we would be disappointed if he does not get it. Now we made a decision for DH to do it. Thing is, we made the decision together, not him, not me. He would stay without a doubt if i asked him to. He would not go if he thought i would be unhappy with the decision.

AND, if he goes, he may well get to meet Tiery Henry. I can't rob him of that, being an arsenal supporter and all can i .

OP posts:
cariboo · 22/11/2009 15:00

Gut reaction since my dh was recently unemployed (but isn't anymore, thank God!) is GO FOR IT. It's so tough out there and if you have friends/family/paid help?, you can do it. Will now read what everyone else has to say

tinkerbellesmuse · 22/11/2009 15:53

pavlov I like it a lot - weather is beautiful at the moment: high 20's, cool enough in the mornings and evenings to need a cardi but can sunbathe by the pool during the day.

If he comes it is definitely the best time of year for it!

Original poster
PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 22/11/2009 15:59

sunbathe by the pool

He has not heard anything yet. So we are thinking the other guy must have taken it. Or else it is cutting it a bit fine for notice! But that would also be typical .

OP posts:
Laugs · 22/11/2009 16:15

Hi pav just popping in to say what a tough decision, but it sounds like you've made the right one for your family (or the decision has been taken out of your hands). Make sure you ask for all the help you need from everyone available.

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