What rules does your 16 year old daughter have re going out?

[whateventoputhere]

Looking to get a range of views, daughters specifically. When I say 16 I mean first year of sixth form. What rules do you have re curfews, how she gets home, walking vs taxi vs lifts, where she’s allowed to go etc. Yes it depends on the child, but keen to get a range of views. Oh also phone location settings/drinking.

Many thanks

Thought this would be a hotter topic post Halloween 🎃 😂

Stay with your friends.
Have a safe word with your mates, if someone texts it you all leave together.
Alternate a glass of water if drinking.
Remember everyone has a camera now, you don’t want to be remembered for the wrong reasons.
Call home if needed, we’ll always pick you up.

Stick with friends. And if she's ever somewhere she doesn't feel safe, she can phone and I will come get her.

I didn’t have any rules or curfew but one thing we did have was a safe word. If I rang my dad and said it, he would come and get me no questions asked
it was only for emergencies not for general use but I did use it twice

So no one has a curfew or specific rules about walking with a certain number of people?

She goes to parties, I pick her up. No walking on her own.
Usually 11 or 12 to pick up though she knows she can ring if needs to leave earlier.

She does have a few drinks, she hates vomiting so knows when to stop.

Stay with friends, otherwise I was pretty laid back as mine were sensible ish. Generally they went together which definitely helped, and they had a good friendship group of mixed ages including those over 18 with cars who didn’t drink. We were first when it came to walking back or taxi from the city centre too which meant that they were never walking alone, also bus stop was outside with buses until 1am. They are well adjusted adults now. Tracking wasn’t a thing.

We’re 15 not 16 which I appreciate makes a difference but so far no fixed curfew as depends where she is going and who with. Seems to work better to decide on a case by case basis.

Mine has a curfew but only because shes still in school and if I let her shed be out until 3am then not get up for school.
But on nights where its something special its more lax though id want her home by about 12. Also if she needs picking up or whatever then we'll come. Busses stop round her at 10 anyways

Mine is just 17 (first year of 6th form)and a boy so a bit different but similar to pps in that he stays with friends, we have a safe word, I either pick up or he gets an uber, if it's an uber we have an agreed time to be home but I judge each situation differently depending on where he is and when it finishes.
Also always make sure he has money.

No specific curfew as it is event dependent!
But, we do track, she has to communicate where she is, what the plan is or changed to as there seem to be frequent changes.
I dislike her walking in the dark but if there is a group I'm more relaxed about this.
For us we like the lines of communication to stay open.
We will always collect from parties or have a lift share arrangement with other parents.
No safe words but she knows we will collect in an emergency or if things aren't panning out as expected.

Would you allow her to walk with friends?

For those without curfews, can you sleep before they are home?

Only real control freak types have curfews at this age.

Stay with friends. Don’t take drugs. Thats it really. Dd quite grown up and switched on with nice friends and lovely boyfriend so don’t feel the need to police her or boss her around.

She often stays at friends and messages if she is. Yes we just go to sleep. We live in a safe city and she’s gets Ubers or if in a group buses home. You have to let go. What’s you staying up going to achieve?

Mine is 15, year 11. Curfew depends on what she’s doing tbh, I don’t want to say a particular time when she might just be wandering the streets compared to at a party.
Phone must remain charged, keep an eye on it.
Stay with friends if out late, no taking public transport or walking home by herself after 10pm.
Allowed to drink but must let me know beforehand and be sensible.
Call me or text me if she ever feels uncomfortable and I will immediately pick her up (this happened last night)

At 16 I didn't leave the small town where i lived, just hanging out with friends at their houses or the park, it was rural and super safe. As long as Mum knew where i was and who i was with curfew was just before dark unless I had already organised to stay overnight with a friend. After we got a bit older and friends learned to drive we went further afield, no curfew but she still wanted to know where and who I was staying with if I wasn't coming home that night. 18 + alcohol was whole different kettle of fish again.

We don’t have a set curfew but generally I’d expect her to be in by 12 at the weekend/non school night. She’s almost always in a group so they travel together. We live in a village on the outskirts of a small city so is pretty safe, but I’d still not want her walking in the dark on her own.
She does drink, but is sensible, and generally takes her own tins of those pre-mixed cocktails.

Basic safety rules like sticking with friends.
We appreciate knowoing roughly what you are planning and how you are with, but realise the answer is sometimes "don't know".

Make sure they have a plan to get home before they go out. If they want us to provide a lift we'd appreciate knowing as early as possible, but they can freely ring up to midnight (when DH goes to bed) and any time after that if there is an issue; we don't want them to struggle.

Yes, to "safe" word.

Tell us whether you will be in for dinner or, if you're not going to be in, if you'd like a portion saving. (That's just for politeness/logistics really)

No curfew, but they/their friends were sensible not to go out late on school nights , so we might have thought differently if they weren't!

I’m curious where all your 16 year olds are going? Mine only goes to parties. Definitely isn’t allowed to just wander streets/hangout outside at night, no one needs groups of teens doing this. To be fair she doesn’t want to.

We collect regardless what time. She normally had a curfew of 12.

She could call at any time.

No lifts from friends or friend's siblings unless said friends/siblings were well known to us. She had a couple of times a lift from a parent.

Absolutely not walking home. If she was in town (she did amateur theatre and sometimes they went to a pub or had a drink in the theatre's bar) then we asked her to stay inside the pub/theatre to wait for us.

If she ever felt uneasy and was outside for any reason we asked her to go into a pub or restaurant and talk to the staff to wait there until she could collect her.

I’ve arranged a simple emoji type to text me if she needs me to call and make up a reason why she has to leave a friend’s party early. In case she feels uncomfortable but doesn’t want to be the one visibly choosing to leave. Never used it yet but good to have it planned as easy escape, no judgement.

dd17, first year of sixth form. Curfew is something we decide together on a case by case basis. She’s been to a couple of parties, into town and to the beach at night.

Rules are, location sharing on, i want to know where she is and who with. And total honesty.

Plus letting her know that if things get out of hand she can call me to pick her up without any fear of getting in trouble.

My oldest it was quite easy as they didn't like staying out late and they didn't drink. They pretty much self-imposed not being out late on a school night and the basic rule was let us know where you're going, back by 11, or by midnight if the event might take a little longer to get back from. We're in London so they always travelled by public transport as we don't really need to use taxis.

oh, no going in water after drinking, even one drink. and (goes without saying) no getting in a car with a driver who may have been drinking.

Talked to her about accepting drinks from strangers, keeping drink in her hand, etc.