Flexible work around school hours - what actually worked for you?

[MumLearningFlexibleWork]

Hi everyone,

I'm a mum of 2 trying to figure out what flexible work really works around family life. I've been researching lots of options that people suggest online and trying to sort what is actually realistic with school hours vs what sounds good but isn't.

Would love to hear - what has actually worked for you? What was a waste of time?

I'm happy to share a little checklist of what I found from my research if it's helpful for anyone else in the same boat.

Thanks so much x

I think you are right, it it's difficult to find a job that offers this, but lots of professional jobs can allow you to be more flexible. What helped for us was we both dropped a few hours and did a bit of flexible working which meant neither of us took a big hit and it was easier to persuade our employers to approve the flexible pattern.

Also importantly, I never left work at any point (though I took a year of maternity leave each time) so I was well established, as you say.

I work in QM but my job was never advertised as being flexible. I work 0.6FTE (25.5 hours a week) and it was supposed to be three days a week. Once I started, it turned out that was only for my probation period and they are really flexible. I now do two full and two half days but I have several colleagues who spread their time over the whole week to cover childcare. As long as I do my hours, I can shift my days around as suits me.
So I'd say it really depends on the company culture and that you won't see from a job advert.

What’s your partner doing to adjust his work and hours to ensure he can cover his 50 percent of responsibilities?

Dh is self-employed. I was an academic (lecturer and clinical researcher). Both quite flexible. We each had days when we need to be somewhere and don’t have as much flexibility, but we organise it so the other can take over for those days. I’m now also self-employed in a consulting role, so I have even more control over my schedule.

We’ve never needed wraparound care. We’re usually both around before and after school even if one of us might have some emails to send. Or we trade off on busy days, Dh has one day a week when he is away 8am to 7pm or even later. It’s all me that day. I have a late meeting on a Friday, so it’s all Dh that day.

We also trade off on school holidays or we’ll both be off and just doing the bare minimum of admin, then catch up once they are back to school.

Basically, it’s having work that is flexible that we have a lot of control over and sharing it very equitably between us.

I also really strongly recommend going back to work when they are little. They need you the most late primary and secondary, not as toddlers. Too many women stay home when they are little and they don’t build up the seniority to demand flexibility when they actually need it during the school years. We worked hard when ours were little and now we have a lot of time with them when they need driving to activities and jobs and when they are upset about a boy. It’s made a real difference.

Why would they need you more at late primary/secondary?

I worked in an office 10-3pm every day. Did typing for a surveyor. Managed to do all drop offs and pick ups. The money was rubbish so I also worked 6-10pm 3 nights a week in a supermarket. As my DH was getting in from work I was going out again. I was pretty knackered but I did it for quite a few years.amd it worked for us. I finally got a full time job when the kids were well into high school and have never ever looked back..

That was when mine had/have all the massive dramas. The sudden, awful friendship issues; the massive school bust ups; the hormonal screaming and sudden tears; the desperate, lonely isolation and pretend illnesses to get out of school. They are all very time consuming and enormously emotionally draining. It's honestly quite demanding. I've just dropped my hours down a little to 35 to cope with it all.

They were very time consuming as little toddlers, then fairly stress free for a number of years, now stressful and needing lots of time again. I was an absolute nightmare teen, I imagine it's karma 😉.

I'm a tutor, working online. I only schedule sessions during school hours and during term-time, so I never need to use childcare. I keep 2 days free so I can deal with chores, exercise and appointments during school hours, and that leaves our evenings and weekends free to take dcs to activities and trips out.

We both work from home full time, and use after school childcare 3 days a week. One of us does pick up on each of the other days. As we’re home, we don’t have to factor commutes in which frees up more time.

I was a head of department in a secondary school pre children. I switched to teaching in a further education college and picked my hours to suit school pick up. Holidays were longer but we didn’t have a week in February. I also taught adult education classes some evenings to top up my salary.

We‘ve both always worked fulltime. A good childminder is the answer to all of our childcare related problems!
The thing is, once you are established in a career, its a lot easier to have flexibility.

My number one tip is to be established in
your role and company before having a child. that way you can understand how the company works and when/how you can ask for flexibility plus you should have built up some trust which can go a long way. Obviously I am aware that this may require a
time machine for many people and that
not every job will have the flexibility,
however, this is a good starting point if you are in a position to plan.

I reduced hours by just 10% and have paid for nursery and wrap around care all the way through. Oh yes and holidays clubs galore. All this is normal where I work. Over the years I have managed some school events, DH has done others and some neither of us could make it. Sickness wise we have been tremendously lucky. Less than a handful of days off needed from nursery to KS3.

oh the other tip is to have loads of family nearby to help. I didn’t manage
that one. I’m kind of jealous/not jealous of people with big support networks -
they never seem to comes without strings.

How did you become a tutor?

It depends if you want a career. I left work when my youngest was born & didn’t go back full time until he started secondary. Apart from one f-t temporary job, I did a mix of educational research work, Market Research, p-t teaching (FE & Community), cleaning & odd bits & pieces. I loved it. When my husband became ill, I needed to get a career, not just a job. I missed the freedom & flexibility of my ‘portfolio’ and no one job meets all your needs so that left ‘gaps’ in job satisfaction. The other upsides were broadening my skill set & , if I lost any of that work, I still had the rest. I also did a Masters. Downsides were little chance of promotion & no pension.

We did similar I worked 24-28 hrs often 2 13hr shifts. DH wfh short days twice a week.

When my DC were younger I worked 2.5 days per week. My DC went to breakfast club (which they loved) three times a week and after school club twice a week. Also, in school holidays, I only had to find childcare for part of the week.

That worked really well in the primary school years and now they're older I'm back to full time.

I think if you have the skills setting up a business with something you can do from home.

The lady who does my nails can tailor her hours to suit. She is also a foster carer so has to have some flexibility.

There have been the odd occasions I have had a text saying she needs to move my appointment due to new children arriving but her customer base is loyal.

So is there anything you have the skills for?

Tutoring
Nail tech

Other ideas, delivery driver for Just Eat / Deliveroo.
Banks used to employ people just to cover the lunch break of ft employees.

The way we've done it is my husband does morning drop off (works 9-5) and I work 7-3 so pick up in the afternoon.

I'm also lucky because in addition to having my annual leave, I get an additional 26 Flexi days per year which I build up (sometimes I start work at 6, other times I carry on working in the evening) and these additional days I use in school holidays.

What worked for us was working different hours in term and holidays (my boss did not care what hours I did as long as the work was done). But this meant we could cover a lot (not all) of the holidays between us. This was at a University which tends to be a flexible employer particularly amongst the research staff.

Dh does shift work on an 8 week rolling rota so will work 6am-2pm or 2pm-10pm and works every other wkend with days off in the week. I work 30hrs a week with a Wednesday off. I am office based. Dh cant work from home either. We used wraparound care and holiday clubs for ds. He's in senior school now so now real child care needed. We work and live only within a few miles which helps so no long commutes.

I worked for a charity. They don't always pay so well but they one of the benefits can often be family friendly working patterns.

I would do 3 days worth of hours spread over 4 days. It meant that I was working less than the 6 hours required for a break, which meant I covered reception over the lunch hour. Win for me, win for my employers.

I found a genuinely excellent for flexible working employer in the local authority.
I'm a single parent with zero business acumen so had to be realistic that I need to be employed and full time. My kids go to wrap around at school 2 days per week and I work flat out on these days. I am able to ne flexible for the other 3 days around school runs, as is the whole team. There's give and take in the team and a high level of trust. If something is genuinely urgent, they know we'll pick it up after our kids are asleep.
I moved from a law firm and for my PQE, wages are lower in house, but I would swap the flexibility I have.

I worked 3 twilight shifts a week 7pm-1am so DH home for kids before I went to work & I had enough sleep to survive before the school run. Tough with sleep but worked while we were in that phase of life.

I worked 20 hours week, 5 hours per day and Friday off. I did have to cover the school holidays but my work was fairly flexible and so was exh’s - I would start at 7am and we would switch the kids over in the car park at midday and I’d drop him off (we worked 2 minutes drive apart), only downside was I had to pick him up around 8/8.30 10 mins drive at that time of night but I admit I did leave the kids, 7&9 by then, very good neighbours the kids knew well

We work around each other did evenings and weekends and he worked in the day. Now I weekends and he does Monday to Friday full time. I do one day at school times now DD is in school.