How to deal with conspiracy theory obsessed family member

[SmallWhiteFluffyClouds]

A retired (late 70s) family member of mine has become obsessed with conspiracy theories.

From anti vax and the evil WEF controlling every government to all our foods being poisoned and Bill Gates trying to kill everyone, no topic is safe. They have stopped taking all medication so it’s gone beyond a harmless hobby.

They spend a lot of their time online and send me many social media videos every day which I refuse to watch and never reply to.

If I try to push back on anything I am quickly told I’m wrong and put in my place. There’s absolutely no reasoning.

I want to enjoy my time with them and for them to resume taking medication but I find the blind faith in it infuriating and all the negativity completely exhausting. Does anyone have any advice?

I have thought that maybe it’s an indicator of early dementia but they seem fairly functional in most other areas and would refuse to go for any testing in any case.

Thanks to everyone who has commented and shared their views, I really appreciate your help. I hope all of you in similar situations find a path through.

I watched a uni lecturer do a presentation on persons who believe in conspiracy theories; almost all had a chronic illness that was difficult to treat, almost all had a previous negative government experience.
Recently I learned 67% of the French population believe in conspiracy theories; anti vac being the most prevalent.
Bottom line; almost impossible to sway/move their beliefs.
Regarding children; teach them critical thinking skills and how to understand research statistics.

One small suggestion. Plan something for yourself to look forward to after each visit. It’s hard to spend time with people who care about who are not themselves. I’ve found that knowing what I am going to do afterward makes it easier.

Honestly I couldn’t do this. I come from a family that is very right and proper, and where manners are everything. I think our relationship would be irreparably damaged if I was so rude.

Do you have the sense that this is being used to keep you in line?

Your DC could be irreparably damaged if they have to listen to this stuff for years. And what about how rude this person is being - inflicting their daft opinions on you and your DC, telling you you're wrong...and what about you? this is causing you distress and it's not going to change, is it? how much of a relationship is there, realistically?

Why do they still have contact with vulnerable children?

Whether or not they are related, this CT relative can't be trusted to look after themselves let alone children

Those perspectives are useful, thank you.

I don’t think it is done out to control me but actually a misguided attempt to keep us safe from all these ‘dangers’. They do care (and worry) a lot.

I am reconsidering what access they should have to the grandchildren and how we can keep them safe.

Something like, 'Okay, so even if what you say is true, you don't have to think about it all the time... It's not great conversational material.
'I mean, the Holocaust actually happened [or does he not think that either?] - you don't have to bang on about it all the time.'

We experienced similar with an elderly family member; no matter how we tried to change the subject, she just kept returning to it. She was educated, witty and interesting and had previously had good communications skills. Sadly, her obsession proved to be the onset of dementia. I hope this isn't the case for your relative.

I think I would call up their GP and flag your concerns. It might not do anything now but it could help with them being flagged as vulnerable.

You cannot reason someone out of beliefs that have become part of their identity. I find the best way is to ask lots of questions rather than lecture, but keep firm boundaries. For example I say that I will be going home if they insist on talking about racist or antisemitic topics.

Teach your kids how to think rather than what to think. Show them how evidence is evaluated, and that people can hold beliefs sincerely that do not have evidence to back them up, because they have a need for control in a complex world, a need to belong. It’s also useful to talk to them about how social media algorithms create echo chambers.

My brother is like this. I have to be honest to start with and say I limit contact with him because it is so boring and exhausting listening to him.

During the limited contact I have with him I'm not rude, but I think I'm probably a bit brisk. I let him go off on one a bit then say, 'Gosh, well that's all very interesting, I can see you've read a lot about it. Ohhhh look at that pretty sunset, Buster had a lovely dog walk in the park earlier and I got those socks you asked me to get. Now, shall we put the kettle/TV/dinner on?'

I try to limit the time for his rants and distract him. I don't know if this will help you but it helps me cope.

Will add that when a person finds their beliefs upended - so that everything out there in the world looks the same, but they know it isn't - they can turn obsessive. It isn't restricted to just bonkers conspiracy theories. People who get religion can turn obsessive about it. Blokes who go through a divorce and are miffed they have to hand over the house etc can go on about it.