Would it bother you if your DP was antisocial?

[enterenter]

I’m just musing really. It doesn’t really bother me, but a friend last night was going on about it.

My DP is very antisocial. He does actually have loads of friends but doesn’t go out very much. He does go away with his friends on stags dos, to the match, plays golf etc. So he’s by no means a hermit.

But he doesn’t want to ever come out with my friends. One of my friends often brings her DP to drinks with us, and he always asks where DP is and why he doesn’t want to come. DP just does not want to. I think a bit of it is anxiety over meeting new people. But I just don’t care.

Friend and her DP are yet again sending me messages asking when we can go for drinks. DP actually knows and likes my friends (they were colleagues), and would happily sit and have a drink with her if they bumped into each other at a pub. But he just doesn’t want to organise drinks with them, or anyone else, as a couple.

Is it really that weird? I know the majority of couples probably do socialise together, but I have another friend whose DH is similar to my DP and he never comes with her to parties, weddings etc. either.

It would bother me because I like going for double dates with other couples and I would definitely want my husband there for events like weddings or parties but if it doesn't bother you then it's not an issue - every relationship is different

Yes. DH is currently unable to see or do much because he’s very unwell and it’s incredibly boring and sad to have to go to events by myself. It makes me feel very alone when it’s me, my best mate and her husband a lot of the time

I’m very anti social. It drains me. If I could, I’d be in the house all the time. I go to places because I have to but I hate it. DH is used to it

Antisocial is picking your nose and playing loud music in public, not preferring not to socialise. I could not tolerate an antisocial partner but have no problem with introverts.

I wouldn’t say he’s anti social at all.

I think your friend and her partner are the odd ones. I can’t stand when friends bring a partner unexpectedly out to a social occasion where it was originally going to just be me and my friend. It changes the vibe completely.

Wouldn’t bother me. We do a mixture. Why does she have to bring her partner every time? That’s more unusual surely.

If it works and both of you are happy with the situation, then it is what it is. We’re very similar. Once in a blue moon we’ll attend something with eachother’s friends but that’s extremely rare.

We have one couple freinds we go out with regularly. My fella is socially awkward and hard of hearing so finds some situations difficult. Otherwise I go out with freinds on my own. Some other partners come sometimes and that’s ok, he knows he could if he wanted to. He’s also not bothered generally on weddings and big parties so I generally go alone.

Not weird at all. My friends are all separate. It sounds like he’a very social of he goes away, golf and matches.

My DH is very specifically sociable so if he is with his friends talking a out geeky stuff, he's a happy camper. He doesn't do 'pointless' small talk so I don't often take him anywhere with my friends otherwise I end up worrying about him all night. We do have couple friends (of which the blokes are equally geeky and the wives are not) so that is our happy medium then he has his friends and I have mine.

He’s boshing one of them and feels awkward and fearful of discovery

Exactly the opposite. I’m an extreme introvert. If DH were a social butterfly, we would not be compatible.

She doesn’t every time, but I think he always asks why he isn’t invited and has to be reassured.

What?

My husband is SO antisocial and yes it bothers me

Tbh I’m like your DH. I’ve never been interested in the whole socialising as couples thing.
I was married 25 years and we barely knew each others friends - worked for both of us.

So no it wouldn’t bother me as it’s normal for my experience.

Agree. I find that more stranger and needy tbh. I would hate having a friends partner there on nights out,

I was just pleased she put her foot down when he wanted to join our holiday.