How long after your partner said he wasn’t ready for a baby yet was he then ready?

[mumaabearxo]

Posting for a friend :)

How long after your partner said he wasn’t ready for a baby yet was he ready?

Straight away when he moves onto the next partner it seems

Beware of men who forget to add the helpful suffix ‘with you ever’

And then how much of the parenting burden was he up for carrying? Or was the unspoken agreement that he would ‘let’ you have a baby and expect you to do all the heavy lifting ?

If you want a baby and he doesn’t, just move on, surely? I wouldn’t have had a baby with someone who wasn’t all for it.

my partner and i have agreed to TTC next July. I'm ready now, he would rather wait two years.

sorry let me just add,

my friends partner has agreed he wants a baby work her but said he’s not ready yet. But he 100% said he wants one,

4 years. I’d have had children sooner, but tbf his reasoning was reasonable having got married 2 days after he graduated, just bought a house and him just started work.

I can’t imagine staying with a man who would say ‘no I don’t want a baby yet’. Surely important life events/decisions are the kind of thing you agree before you decide to commit? And if you can’t agree, then you don’t commit?

Oh dear, how many people have heard that old chestnut, really it means they don't want a baby.

I didn’t want a baby, my husband did. We had one 10yrs later.

has he married her? If not, then any assurances are completely empty.

I was unsure my DH wanted children before we dated. We had a baby 3.5 years later, engaged after 6 months, married after 18 months.

Even if married, you can be left to hold the baby.

Read about it on here all the time.

My ex DP and his then girlfriend [unbeknownst to me about the gf] were TTC while he was engaged to me after telling me we need to wait a few years.

8 years

Exactly what I was going to say 😢

How old are they? If the guy is 22, fair enough not to be ready. At 35 with a similar age partner to him, not ready means not with you.

We might have gone against the grain but we never discussed having children before we were married and tbh I wasn’t fussed. Having children wasn’t important to me at the time but once married my attitude changed and I wanted children. I knew we’d eventually ttc and it was my husband who suggested it.

Ages matter hugely here
A 25yo not ready? Fine. But 35? He wont ever be

Whats the context? Hiw old are they? How long together? Own a house? How long has he been saying this Etc.

I think it’s fine to say’ not yet’ for him, and for her to say ‘when’? If I was in her situation, I’d discuss it and make a plan. Ie, ok, I’m happy to wait but let’s make a timescale. Ie, lets go and have a lovely, big holiday next year, and then start trying after that.

if he’s been saying this for years, then it’s unlikely does want a baby (and then they’ll split, he’ll find someone else, and will be married and have twins within two years. It always happens).

This. Classic MN threads where your partner strings you along, dumps you then within a year is a father

Maybe just not with her. He still has options

My DH got cold feet about TTC. We separated and a few months later he came round. I would have moved on if he didn’t. We have two DC now.

Absolutely this. Neither of us were ready when we got married at 28 and we also had a new mortgage that we could just afford and weren’t on amazing incomes so waiting a while made sense.

We were quite young when we met and he said he wanted children in ‘around 7 years’. It felt like a very long time at the time as I wanted them as soon as possible. But I understood his reasoning and our first child was born almost exactly 7 years later so he did what he said he would.