Help me feel better and tell me your stupid / embarrassing moments at work.

[FatterthanBarbie]

I did something really stupid / embarrassing and I have no idea why I did it and now I'm panicking.

I've moved to a new team at work. I worked closely with some of the team members so know most of them already. Manager in new team is very laid back, funny, and you can always have a laugh with him.

The other night, I had a really X rated dream about him. No idea why as I don't even find him attractive. 🙄 Next day I avoided him, just spoke briefly if I needed to as the images of the night before kept popping into my head. I just needed a bit of distance for a short while.

He noticed this and approached me privately asking what was up and had he done/ said anything to upset me. I didn't want to gaslight him and confirmed that I was avoiding him and it was absolutely nothing he had done and I was okay. I just needed some space and I'd be fine in a few days.

This then made him think that it was absolutely something he'd said. He admitted he can take the piss with people with banter and to just tell him if he'd gone too far as he wanted me to feel comfortable in the team and approach him if I ever needed help in the future etc. ( It's an all male team with lots of banter etc ).

I ended up telling him, obviously didn't go into detail and he initially was taken aback and then found it funny. He was smiling all day.😯

I'm now panicking he'll tell the rest of the team. I told him not to and I think he won't but I don't know if he will.

I feel so stupid for being honest and should have just lied. Why didn't I just tell him I was feeling off or something.

Please tell me I'm not the only one that has done something so embarrassing at work!

I bet he asks you out on a date.

And this is why you shouldn’t bring your whole self to work.

Avoiding him to the point he noticed and then telling him why IS attention seeking behaviour.

Assuming you are a woman, how do you think it would look if the sexes were reversed? Or if your manager had been avoiding you because he had an erotic dream?

Im afraid you crossed a line. If I were him I would tell HR by way of self protection. It was incredibly unprofessional to avoid him in the first place and, if I were him, I would be concerned that other people may find out and gossip gets out of hand.

If they do bring it up openly, just say you have sex dreams about all of them. On rotation. Every night. That should shut it down.

Errr nope. That should get her disciplined for sexual harassment. At the very least transferred out of the team. She has already been incredibly inappropriate.

Don’t try to fuck your boss. OP. It rarely ends well.If I were you I would look at getting another job - this isn’t something that will just go back to how it was before,

Yeah I wouldn't tell people you have sex dreams about them if you don't want to be embarrassed or accused of sexual harassment. I tell people at work the dreams I have about them but they're never sexual, they're just weird.

Actual embarrassing thing at work, we have electric doors that open by lifting up and come down to close. I was heading to a door and saw it start to come down but thought I could walk faster than it could come down. I was wrong and smashed my face on the bottom of the door in front of everybody who burst out laughing.

As this was posted on the Chat board rather than work and disciplinary consequences board. I thought there might be some room for humour. Especially given the daftness of OP dream sharing.

But as MNers are taking such a serious view of this, unlike OPs actual boss who found it amusing, then surely if the matter is raised by her colleagues, OP will be the one seeking disciplinary action against them. Her manager in the first instance, for sharing information she'd confided in a one to one meeting. Any colleague referring to something of a sexual nature she confided would be guilty of sexual harassment so my suggested retort would be moot. And of course, the manager should be disciplined for not reporting her outrageous sexually inappropriate behaviour immediately.

@FatterthanBarbie depending which way the wind is blowing MNers take a very dim view of women stepping outside what they consider to be appropriate behaviour regarding sex. [Any behaviour that is different to theirs, really. I'm rather surprised and relieved that you weren't ripped a new one for your "body shaming" username.]

Had the wind been blowing in a different direction you might have got responses pointing out that a huge amount of relationships start a work. Praising you for being proactive and eager to know if how you had tested the waters (so to speak) was successful.

depending which way the wind is blowing MNers take a very dim view of women stepping outside what they consider to be appropriate behaviour regarding sex

Dont be ridiculous.
Telling your boss that you need space from them because you had an explicit sex dream about them is utterly stupid and unprofessional behaviour, regardless of the sex of the parties involved.
The boss is probably not as amused as the OP believes - people also smile/laugh in surprise or out of politeness.
She is now probably skating on thin ice at work.

I have never seen a thread on MN where anyone is praised for chatting up their boss or seeking to instigate a relationship at work.

The last thing you need is for people to minimise this for you with tales of when they fell over in the boardroom or accidentally went to work in their slippers. Because this wasn't an embarrassing accident that just happened, it was a daft choice that could have harmed you at work. You're very lucky he decided to laugh rather than do what he should have done and remind you of the dignity at work and SH policies. If you have the hots for a guy you work with, just ask him if he fancies a drink after work in future. These silly games you're playing about your 'dreams' are immature and inappropriate.

Actually the OP could be the one disciplined for sexual harassment for approaching their manager with this (not to mention being so obvious that she was avoiding him that he picked up on it). Just because he found it amusing, that doesn’t stop it being so.

He should give HR the heads up for his own protection.

Would it be fine if the manager had told her he had an erotic dream about her?

And whilst many relationships do indeed start at work, a manager and a member of their team is usually frowned upon.

I don’t judge people for doing different things because my previously sexual history is probably more checkered than most.

Sorry Op sounds like you made this all up to get his attention and let him know that you see him in that way. Super cringe 😬