Car accident

[stupid36]

I went out yesterday in bad weather, all was fine but when I got home I managed to damage my car by going forward into wall instead of reversing which sounds absolutely ridiculous, I think my foot slipped and I drive an auto and I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t back up and it went forward into to my neighbours garden, happened in a split second. We have only recently moved. I was so embarrassed and apologetic

my car had to be picked up by a truck in the pouring rain and will hear on Monday from garage.

i can’t sleep, I feel physically sick and never want to drive again

my dh is totally unsupportive and questioned why I went out. I was dropping off my dc and then shopping, why was I buying water etc. He said I am wound up and knew something awful would happen.

dh told me my car is a write off. It was a great car and I’m devastated

fortunately I’m off work atm

It’s more than the car, it’s just his reaction which is like this with other things, had relatives staying who had just gone and it’s a smaller property than before

feeling exhausted, stressed and want it all to go away, was awake half the night

thanks

You’re alive. No one is hurt. You’re insured. Anything could have happened out in that weather so this is tiny. They write cars off for nothing at all these days. You had an unlucky moment. No one is going to prison. If your husband chooses to be an unsupportive drama lama through this, rather than a kind and helpful friend, then let’s all generously hope he never ever makes a mistake or has an unlucky moment. Sending love. Some things that happened to people today will still matter a year from now. This probably won’t.

Thanks firebox. Yes you are right I haven’t hurt anyone or collided with another car. He hit a kerb in the Summer and blew a tire but that’s ok.

it is only a car.

I’m sorry, you must be in shock, and your husband’s attitude is not helping. Years ago when I had an accident, my husband said it’s just a car and was relieved I wasn’t injured. Hopefully you will get news about your car on Monday. Even if it is written off, you should be able to replace it with money from the insurance.

It's horrible when this happens. You'll feel better about it but your DH isn't helping!
Is the wall damaged or just the car?

I’m worried I won’t get the value then have a job to find something, he is still really angry and I can’t stop crying

I know you probably can’t at the moment, but do a short, slow drive around the block as soon as you can. You are not an unsafe driver, don’t let that nonsense take hold. As you say, you didn’t drive into any one else, you just got caught out on a slow manoeuvre. Happens all the time. I ride horses, lemme tell you about the selfish idiots out there. That’s not you. 🙂

Your husband should have said :
'it's only a car, no one was hurt, this is why we have insurance'.
What does he need to be angry for. Good grief.

Wall damaged and car. Worst thing was the car going into next door. I could have driven in forwards to drive and usually reverse fine. Just wasn’t thinking. Had heavy stuff in car. I’m usually very careful and good at manoeuvring car. 😪

He’s always the same about anything. He acts like I am awful but he is retired and I am still working

I don’t want to drive again. I know I have to Is this normal?

It’s normal to be apprehensive about driving again after having an accident, but your husband’s reaction won’t be helping either

Does he bully you often?

accidents happen, most important thing is that nobody got hurt. As soon as you get another car, just keep driving again, you'll get your confidence back.

Have you considered writing off your husband?
In all seriousness this thread isnt about a car it’s about your husband revealing his true nature when things get difficult. He doesn’t have your back. Is that really the relationship you want for the rest of your life?

I've been driving for 35 years and never had a serious accident but I have had the odd scrape. My DH is kind and understanding about it. Yours sounds horrible.

I think this came from nowhere more profound than Facebook, but here goes… “The lesson you will not learn will return to you again and again, until you do.” What should we be learning here? It is not that your username is Stupid.

Your husband sounds absolutely terrible I'm sorry.
Assume this isn't just him being scared or worried and manifesting this in a cuntish manner.

It is only a car but I’d be pissed off too if my partner wrote a car off with a preventable mistake. But I wouldn’t hold onto it but would struggle to hide my thoughts initially.

You probably won’t get the value of it is written off and does the neighbours wall/garden need repairing?

You’re best getting back into car as soon as you can, otherwise you’ll overthink it.

Poor old you. What’s making you cry? DH reaction? Thinking you’ve forgotten how to drive? Feeling like an idiot? Intrusive thoughts about what might have happened? Shame? Think about what’s at the root of your current emotional state and work out what needs to be done. It was just an accident. Sure a potentially costly one but you shouldn’t be being this hard on yourself. And neither should DH.

I’ve moved the gear selector the wrong way by accident and gone forwards instead of backwards, I stopped centimetres away from a friend’s car. Luckily I was in a carpark with tight turning so was going slowly, I dread to think what would have happened other. I get where you’re coming from with feeling sick too, I did as well.
Whether it’s a write off will depend on the age and what the garage finds. It might not be as I bet you were going relatively slowly.

Your husband is an absolute arsehole and if I was your best mate, I’d step in and tell him to STFU, then give you a big hug.

It’s really no big deal.
You haven’t injured anyone.

Unless you drove into the wall at great speed, or your car is incredibly old or very expensive to repair, I don’t see why they’d write off your car.

Stop letting him abuse you in this way. He needs to wind his neck in and stop winding you up. Does he get some perverted pleasure from seeing you upset?

Why isn’t he your number one supporter? That’s what a real partner’s role is. If he doesn’t mend his ways, start considering divorce as he’ll only continue to make you miserable over the next few years.

It's not th driving that's the problem. It's not the accident that's the problem. It's your bullying, nasty husband that's the real problem.

I’m sorry you’re shaken up OP and that your DH is so unsupportive. It really is the reason why we pay insurance though, and no one was hurt. Totally normally to feel like you never want to drive again.
Far worse road accidents will have happened last night.

DH used to be like this. Then he rear-ended someone on a roundabout he uses every day. That knocked the superiority out of him.