Envy is the thief of joy, part 2

[Swiftyintothenight]

I posted about one of my oldest and best mates coming into a massive inheritance (ca £30million). Life-changing money for anyone. They were already better off than we were and I was concerned that it would change our relationship. Despite them having good intentions, so far they've just quit their job and gotten some fillers. It feels like the death knell of an old and dear friendship and I'm feeling a) very sad about the loss of an old friend; and b) still quite jealous and envious of their massive wealth. DH and I have a very close and happy relationship, healthy DC and we're not materialistic (perhaps partly by necessity!) but I still haven't been to the dentist in 3 years because it's just a bit too costly. It feels like the dust has settled and my old friend isn't at all who I thought they were. Not sure why I'm posting except that I'm feeling quite low.

Hmm the jury's out for me.

The OP seems a bit obsessed.

Even starting 'Part 2' when the original thread only got just over 100 posts.

Hello OP,

FWIW I think you need a good vent - but not on here! Why don't you open a Word document and get it all out on there?

Your friend has had a monumental life change. It is not unusual that you are going through it with her.

But the effect it is having on you is Ricky - so far. So get all of that out, on your laptop, in private, and let some time pass.

It is definitely challenging to think, "I am starving and my next door neighbour is awash with lovely hot gorgeous food. I am over here suffering and she has more than she needs."

Your relationship is definitely going to change. It is being challenged right now. If she lives a vastly easier life, right in front of you, without sharing, that is going to hurt. How can your friendship survive?

Is she to give to you? Is she to give to everyone?

It's not easy is it?

So I get where you are coming from. And a good private vent will help I think.

After that you are just going to have to see what happens with the friendship. Being close to her when her wealth upsets you may make you want to steer clear. Having your wound poked is hurtful and you don't need it.

I would focus at this time, on you - your needs, maybe sorting your cupboard door out, maybe taking on an extra day a month work, taking action to make your own life better - and stop seeing her for a bit.

As for her, it is widely recognised that people who win money often go up in life - they can spend more, do more, have more etc - and their old friends cant and some of the relationships don't survive. So she will go through it too.

X

I did suggest that the OP may be feeling envious (as she says) because she feels her friend should have perhaps given her some money, she says not though.

I do think if someone is wealthy, (whether through a windfall or other means) to go on about money to friends with much less, is a bit off.