Addict partner travelling and I'm anxious

[Ainteazy]

As per the title. My partner has recently started treatment for addiction but is still really early in the journey. He has a new job which is great, but he is supposed to travel to an event to meet the new team/ company. I know that he can't turn it down just now, but he has admitted himself that he is nervous about attending because he doesn't want to mess up his progress. I'm super nervous too because I'll probably be worried until he gets back. He asked me to come along but I can't because I have 2 medical appointments, one of which I can't change.
Just trying to find ways to manage my own anxiety and asking whether someone has practical advice. Right now we got as far as him calling me as soon as the compulsory event and mingling is done with and spending the evening communicating. As I said it's early days and he probably shouldn't be doing this yet but how can you communicate this without making your employer suspicious.

With the best intentions @Ainteazy
I hope that you are still going to therapy too because this man is already disrupting your life again and it's very likely that you will get hurt (again).
I understand your wish to save someone from.themselves but it barely ever works. You're a good person but don't let others use you.

do you have zero self esteem? What a waste of your life having anything to do with this man.

Do you really think that this is helpful to the OP right now?

Yes. Why on earth are people encouraging her?

It’s one of the most helpful posts on this thread.

‘Compulsive sexual behaviour’ doesn’t sound like an addiction. Is it really classified as such by psychologists? It sounds like something entirely different to me.

Umbrella term for sex addiction.

your last thread was only a month ago, his “addiction” (he’s just a cheat, let’s be honest) isn’t anywhere near being addressed.

why put yourself through this?!

Yes. I’m not sure I really believe that’s a thing. I think there is considerable clinical debate as to whether it constitutes an addiction.

I think it’s a behavioural problem but not sure about addiction in the classical sense. Either way it looks like this can only end in tears for the OP.

Plus he is still drinking alcohol. If he was in a 12 step programme he would know he cant do this. So Im guessing his treatment isnt an actual programme.
Even when folk want to deal with addiction and work a programme they relapse. The question is more about how much you want to take. Are you in a programme OP? Al anon exists for a reason.

It's not alcohol addiction!

This OP. He probably needs to set up a contingency plan of who to contact and how to contact.

Not alcohol. Sex, apparently.

Risk of cross addiction. Addicts I have known take this sort of thing seriously.

Compulsive sexual behaviour, also known as people who feel entitled to do what they want and fuck the consequences while they destroy their "partner".

You know what you could do that would dramatically lessen your anxiety?

Leave him and spend all the energy you're pouring into him and his bullshit on you, and what you need in order to feel whole without this waste of space who will drain the very life out of you if you let him.

Right now we got as far as him calling me as soon as the compulsory event and mingling is done with and spending the evening communicating.

Honestly, if you need to do this to stop your "partner" having sex with someone else, that's just you doing the work. Forget it. This is not sustainable. This is so far away from a healthy functioning relationship OP, you are on a road to self destruction yourself by tying yourself to him and assuming this role. He's nowhere near able to be your partner. He's a drain and a torment.

So, it’s a sex addition and he’s scared he’ll do what…try to shag one of his new colleagues?

I remember your previous post about taking back this habitually cheating loser. It’s always going to be like this with him - constant anxiety. Why give yourself the grief? You are setting yourself up for months or possibly years of misery with this man.

Yes , very.