Am I being petty husband wouldn’t help with dinner over a video game ?

[Catty21]

Long story short, I’m under investigation for unexplained worsening back pain that’s causing me pain daily. We have a Ninja double air fryer that’s quite heavy and is kept in cupboard due to no counter space. It hurts my back every time I get out so asked husband if we can buy a smaller one that can be kept out. He said just ask me to get it out from now on.

Had to use it last night so went to ask him to get it out. He refused as he was in the middle of a computer game and he said I should have given him more notice .

Im livid. if it was his mum who was cooking him dinner he would have done it straight away. I’ve never had a problem with him being a gamer, but it seems nowdays his gaming comes before everything else.

Am I being petty over last night? He’s knows I’m not happy so I’m waiting for the “ you’re being horrible /aggressive to me “ and I’ll have to apologise for “my behaviour”later probably.

20 min matters because her time is valuable too. That is 20 min longer her chores for the evening take. 20 min less leisure time she gets that day. Time is not completely fungible. It is only useful in decent sized blocks.

Really ?? His feckin dinner would have been in bin (or dog if you have one) he sounds manipulative why do you put up with it? Just buy a new Air Fryer

It sounds like there's more going on here than the minor inconvenience of him finishing his game before getting the air fryer out. I suggest marriage counseling, as a first step in trying to improve your connection. Good luck.

Why apologise? You did exactly what he asked you to do. His suggestion to ask him to get the air fryer out for you every time was poorly thought out, but he'll never admit that to you. The real issue here is that he cares more about his gaming and being "right" than he cares that you are in pain and at risk of hurting yourself even more by doing things you should not have to do. Can he cook the dinners at least until you have the complete set of information about your condition and a plan made with your doctor about what you can and cannot do longer term? If not, make a change right now and only do what you can do without hurting yourself. Nothing is worth that, and no one should be asking or demanding it of you especially right now when you are being evaluated. If that means delivery or microwaved ready meals for a while, so be it.

I can understand him not wanting to spend more money on another one. But the second he messed me around, I’d be buying another one and I’d have made my feelings clear. Bugger apologising to him.

You need a serious think about why that wouldn’t be your immediate reaction and you need to seriously rethink why you are always needing to apologise.

Why was he gaming while you were cooking dinner anyway?
I understand many adults enjoy gaming as a hobby. And that interrupting a game is sometimes a pain.
But it is generally a flexible hobby that parents can enjoy at times it doesn’t interfere with family life.

So I would say he should not have been gaming in the first place at that time. If he was he should have dealt with the disruption and come to help you. Going forward you should buy the smaller air fryer without waiting for permission, he is not the boss of you. The cheap ones work fine in my experience.
Then you should consider how much better you deserve from a partner, whether that be this one or the next.