Advice after first driving lesson pls

[Mrspimplepopper]

My dd had her first driving lesson today..she was nervous but excited. She only turned 17 a few weeks ago.

she had an hour lesson and came home in floods of tears. 6 hours later ive managed to get out of her that she was expected to drive on a 50mph road with 3 multi lane roundabouts. She said she was terrified and ended up in tears in the car whilst driving.

Is this normal? Is her instructor not great? The instructor knew that she has absolutely zero driving experience

My dd is saying she never wants to drive again.

Can anyone offer any advice pls

Yes that seems very intense for a first lesson. I remember with my very first driving lesson all I did was drive up and down one quiet road, learning how to use the clutch and break!

Of course it's not normal.

Who recommended the driving instructor to you ?

'Normal' for a 1st lesson for a complete novice would be to go to a very quiet road / industrial estate or even car park and start by getting to grips with how to make the car move, how to change gear, how to stop and so forth.

But you must know that?

That sounds mental, some instructors don’t actually let you do any driving on the first lesson, let alone at 50mph!

My 1 st lesson I was taken to an industrial estate where I stopped and started the car myself and then I drove back home probably 4 miles on a straight road home.

ds was the same.

that sounds intense!

I’d find another driving instructor. Also, can you take her out- if she’s lost her confidence it’ll need building up again.

Shes learning in an automatic if that makes a difference.

I guess my gut feeling is that this was far too much and I need to find a new instructor.

The instructor wasn't recommended, they are part of a larger company who id messaged about availability

My DD’s first lesson was the same as some pp’s above - went to a quiet road and spent most of the lesson showing her what all the controls did, explaining brake and clutch mechanisms and she didn’t do any driving at all!

That is not normal for a first lesson, no. Expecting to drive at that speed and navigate roundabouts on a first lesson? Absolutely not!

I would find another instructor, as this one has clearly put the fear of god into your poor DD. ☹️

My DS has been having lessons since he turned 17 in July. His instructor is very calm, and takes everything at a steady, sensible pace. Early lessons were on quiet roads or large car parks, and he is now driving on dual carriageways, large islands, busy towns etc.

There are a lot of cowboys out there. Please don't use this instructor in future, as your poor DD may never want to drive again.

Your DD will be okay - she just needs the right instructor to teach her properly and to help get her confidence back.

It sounds a lot, but you need to empower your daughter to speak out at the time if she’s uncomfortable. The fact she couldn’t tell you till several hours later sounds like she was quite traumatised

Absolutely not normal. Myself and my eldest daughter used the same instructor, my 17 year old just had her second lesson this week with a different guy. Both of them took us all initially to quiet roads and let us practice driving round them and then let us drive home but we live in a quiet town.

Go back to the agency and complain as that’s totally out of order. She could have killed someone or herself. A kid with no experience of driving should have be on a 50 mph road and doing bust roundabouts their first time in a car.

Take her out to a quiet road or industrial estate on a Sunday and let her just drive back and forth. Get a wee bit of confidence sitting on that side of the car and getting a feel for it. Then get her a lesson with someone else. Don’t let it fester, she’ll build it up in her head and get more scared if you do. She needs to get back behind the wheel now.

I’ve taken all 3 of mine to local car parks in the evening once insured. First paid lessons were 10-15 mph stop-start-turn, on quiet back roads. Poor kid. Back to basics and a gentler approach defo needed.

After nearly an hour in the local industrial estate I drove home via a dual carriageway and two multi lane roundabouts on my first lesson in a manual car (30ish years ago).

The instructor had dual control if needed, he corrected me a couple of times but otherwise it wasn’t an issue.

When ds did his first lesson in a manual car he also drove home. I don’t think it is that unusual if the instructor felt she was handling the car ok, especially if she didn’t have any gears to worry about.

She maybe needs to be told it’s ok to speak up and say no/ask to stop if she feels so anxious during lessons.

The instructor wasn't recommended, they are part of a larger company who id messaged about availability

Then she needs to complain to whoever runs the 'larger company' and she needs to ask around to find a driving instructor locally that people actually recommend.

dd very experianced and well thought of instructor did have her going round roundabouts on the 1st lesson, cant remember if he did with ds, but it wasnt a dual carrageway or busy. It was a manual car, an automatic will be less complex. Maybe hes not the right instuctor for her, maybe shes not ready to drive. Id try another one and see. Dd and Ds plus most of their friends used Frank, all bar one passed 1st time and all were taight tondrive not to pass a test, there is a diffrence. In 8years none have had an accident or a ticket!

The fact that someone is not ready to tackle multi-lane roundabouts in their very first lesson is in no way a sign that they are not ready to drive! I remember my first driving lesson. It consisted exclusively of driving up and down the same quiet road to get the feel of the car. DD's first driving lesson consisted of driving on an estate with wide roads and no roundabouts. OP, I would look for a different instructor. The one you found sounds irresponsible and dangerous.

That doesn’t sound right at all especially if it was obvious she was scared
I started on a hill which sounds weird but my instructor said learn a hill start and a normal start is easy! Then we stuck to quiet roads on an industrial estate

No that’s completely unacceptable and incredibly dangerous. Hate to say my assumption would be it was a male
instructor who was intentionally frightening your DD in an abusive/power trippy way. You must complain. The harm this could do to your DD’s nervous system and confidence while driving (which is so important!!) is potentially huge. Awful thing to do.

I find it difficult to believe your DD would have been physically capable of driving on a 50mph road! As other people have said, first lesson is trying to get used to the clutch (and kangarooing the car lots of times!)
How was she able to even navigate up the gears on her very first lesson? I’m quite impressed!

I don’t mean this post to sound rude or sarcastic, I just can’t get my head around it. On my first lesson I wasn’t even capable of driving to the end of a residential road

Yes that’s too far. Generally they’d keep to small local roads and practice a few junctions, starts and stops etc.

Yeah because your kids would tell you if they got a ticket 😂

Sounds even worse than my first lesson 30 years ago in London, and I was older than she is.

I would certainly look for another instructor.

What I also did is give myself a stern talking to and recognise that even some really really not very bright people can drive, that I have learned far harder things than driving, and that learning means you can't do stuff when you first try. So I did need to grit my teeth a bit and keep my eyes on the prize. And of course I did get there and it was all fine in the end.

She was in an automatic…

I’d find a new instructor, and feed back to the company that the type of driving they made your dd do on a first lesson was absolutely inappropriate. Far too much to give a brand new pupil to cope with, I’d be pissed off if a driving school did this to my son.

Unfortunately I agree with this. I have learned later in life (early 40s) because the instructor I had at 17 was a creepy scary man.
On my first lesson with my current instructor (woman), she drove me to a quiet coastal road and I drove up and down it in loops to get the feel of the car. Then we went through a very quiet housing estate to do lots of left/right turns, a u turn and learn how to park. Multi lane roundabouts came much later on!