Am I being a prat re Aldi cashier ?

[MurphysColeslaw]

I sometimes nip into Aldi if I finish work if I I’m on a 9 finish and need wine or whatever.
Often there is a cashier who has been quite chatty (male) just normal ‘have you just finished work and next time it was what do you do ? I get it, the store is quiet at that time so maybe he’s bored and is just trying to make friendly conversation.
Last week I went to the self serve bit and he was able to verify my alcohol purchase from his till.
He then proceeded to tell me he was able to see what I’d bought and started listing it, which I have to say made me feel uncomfortable.
Last night I whizzed in and bought a pizza, and went to the self serve bit, he appeared out of nowhere and said ‘Oh having an easy pizza dinner are we’
He’s putting me off going in.

I would just smile and carry on and not waste thinking time on the small things, everyone is different. Some folk are friendly, and some are OTT and annoying!

Next time you go in have your pods in and act like your on a call, or be on one, if he interrupts you then is your time to say to whoever your talking to, oh it’s just that cashier I was telling you about, but say it like you’ve thought he was weird, don’t interact with him from then, do not look at him, carry on.
next time you go in avoid, if he does it again, say are you this chatty with all the customers? He will get the message you don’t want the hassle.

Aldi doesn't have a loyalty card so it definitely sounds like he's taking an unhealthy interest in the OP.

I suppose whether it is something to worry about depends on if this is his manner and he's like that with everyone or if he's becoming a bit obsessed.

I had this the other way around when I worked in Greggs as a teenager. A regular customer was really over familiar with me and I used to dread serving him as I found the interaction so uncomfortable but I was very shy so unable to stand up for myself.

I work on a till & it is sometimes hard to get the balance right but after nearly 9 years in the same store, I’m a pretty good judge of whether a customer is open to chat. I do sometimes comment on what people have bought but only things like “ I love those decorations” or “ ooh now I really fancy pie & mash for tea”. One of my Managers told me that he is always getting lovely comments about me. Maybe this guy is still finding his feet?

In my experience women are far worse for this… in my local Lidl the cashier decided to comment on my choice of sanpro!! Another time it was the chocolate.

Im with you OP. I want to buy my shopping without commentary!!

Sounds like he fancies you - maybe the previous chats about weekend plans were misinterpreted by him, and he hopes it's reciprocated.

I assume from the fact you are posting here that it isn't.

And he is in the wrong to keep pushing this if it's making you feel uncomfortable - especially the listing of your purchases, which was a bridge too far in my book.

You could try to very much shut down any furture chats by responding as briefly as possible, no further discussion of weekend plans etc, in the hope he gets the message.

Or if you feel really strongly you could complain to a manager. While I wouldn't judge you for doing this, and maybe women should do this more, I think for me personally I would only do this if I had tried everything else and it wasn't working. Getting someone into trouble in the work place is something I would avoid unless I had explored other options I think.

But you have the right to do it, if you feel strongly enough.

Blimey a male shop worker can't even chat to a female customer without it being off.
There's a friendly male staff member in our Aldi and I always enjoy having a chat with him (but then I'm on my own all day with my non verbal son so possibly just need the interaction).
I know this is MN where all men are seen as evil but it's a bit ridiculous to feel upset because someone asked if you're having an easy tea tonight.
I suppose if it really bothers you you'll have to find another shop because he's not doing anything wrong.

Damned if you do damned if you don’t as far as customer service is concerned.

Yes I don't like it either. Just because I find it hard work though. Usually I make a small effort but keep it fairly minimal. I don't like to be rude or abrupt either, I think people are trying to be nice and I appreciate that

How would he know what you’ve previously bought?

there’s no loyalty card or scheme with Aldi. There is with Lidl however. Unless you’re changing the store name to avoid being outed

The OP is the only person who has met this man in person. It would be a rare adult woman who has never had a 'creepy' encounter with man where she feels he's overstepped or been inappropriate, so if she feels uncomfortable, he's made her uncomfortable.

And it's perfectly possible for shop staff to be friendly and engaging without being over personal, by sticking to neutral topics like the weather or very light touch comments about purchase such as 'these are such good value' or 'have you tried these in strawberry' instead of coming over as if they're watching customers every move every time they come into the shop.

Exactly, doesn't matter how you are with customers, someone will always dislike it, and assign meaning to it for you, regardless of your actual motivation, and then complain to about it from the pov that they're absolutely right.
Then you change how you are and the next customer doesn't like it, and the whole thing starts again.
People complain so much these days about anything and expect whatever they don't like to be changed on their say so, and an apology and probably a voucher too, instead of accepting that not every little interaction in every day is going to suit you perfectly because it's not designed specifically around you as an individual, it's designed to cater to a lot of people, all with different ideas of customer service and it's impossible to taylor every individual interaction to exactly what that particular customer wants in that given moment, but apparently they're supposed to anyway and it's taken extremely personally if it doesn't happen.

We had a similar cashier near ours. One of my friends refused to set foot in there because of him. I didn't find him nearly as exhausting as she did (just very friendly in an awkward way), but then again maybe he didn't find me nearly as attractive as he did her?? He ended up losing his job though so I wonder if customers complained.

No he's not thats Aldi staff greet and sniff the customers. Clearly he's out to locate and find out about you so he can stalk you later

Have you sought any kind of treatment for your inability to have more than one thought at a time? That's really not normal although I appreciate you might not realise if you don't interact with other people

I am quite happy to chat with shop staff but commenting on what you're buying is moving to obtrusive/uncomfortable. Impossible to know if he's just a bit green or a creep

If he's interested in the OP then he will just be remembering surely

That’s true

I was just replying to a pp who said that maybe he’s looking at some screen info with loyalty cards or store card hence me saying Aldi doesn’t have this scheme

But yes probably just remembering what she’s previously bought

I can’t make up my mind whether he’s creepy or not

If the op feels creeped out by it then she’s creeped out by it. None of us are there to judge

Depends, chatty employees can be answered with a cheery reply and off you go, it's just a pleasant exchange.
If you think he seeks you out and fancies his chances, that can be pretty offputting.
If it's the latter, I would be avoiding the shop for a bit, nothing worse than someone chatting you up when you don't welcome it.

This 100%. I had this in Lidl on two occasions, the same guy. Kept telling me to smile and crap like that. I stopped going in there. I just want to shop, pay and go home after another day of being burnt out, not have to entertain some bored pillock.

Which is why I said she should try a different shop. I do think though chatting with a customer while they are working is normal. If he was following OP out of the shop or asking where she lived that would be creepy but commenting on something you've brought isn't really.
However if OP found it creepy it would surely be easier to avoid the shop .

So stop going to his checkout till.

I swear people just like to create problems.

But why should she? There might not be another shop, it might not sell the things the OP wants, or it might be more expensive.

Why should the OP change her behaviour when the creepy shop assistant could just not act creepy towards her.

Is he 'creepy', though, or just friendly? Two very different things.

People swap and change where they shop all the time, if one place doesn't suit me, for whatever reason, I will try somewhere else.
Obviously that's if there are other shops available...in my area there are loads.

I hate these comments.
I go to aldi for sweets and pizza, I dont go often and buy in bulk.
I also do a separate shop for wine and beer. Again not often but in bulk.
I often get having a party comments that make me very self conscious

I’m reading this as he could see from his till what OP had purchased on the self service checkout and authorised it because it’s usually on a screen in front of them not memorising her shopping from three weeks ago?