If you’re tea-total, can you tell me the benefits?

[Butterscotchsauce]

I’m leaning towards giving up, just need some inspiration to help motivate me a little more.

If you’ve given up drinking, I would love to hear what you have found to be the benefits to your life or to others around you please, thank you

Why are you trying to shame people on a thread about being teetotal for having recognised alcohol doesn’t work for them whether due to addiction or health reasons or anxiety or whatever else? It’s disgusting. These are people who have stopped drinking and enjoy a healthier happier life that has 0 impact on anyone else.

I gave up about 2 years ago. Helped with my weight loss, I have a clear head all the time, (getting pissed when you're menopausal is NOT good!) I have more money in my bank, I have no chance of ever being caught drink-driving, and I do not need a drink every time I socialise. I also feel - and AM much healthier for it.

Many people I know are catching up. The last time I went out with 8 women who are part of my hobby group (all in their 40s, 50s and 60s,) only 3 had alcohol. DH went teetotal about 5 years ago. He did it for health reasons as he was a bit of a binge drinker. I gave up when booze started getting expensive, and I was starting to get sick of having a whopping 2-day long headache, and feeling like I've been hit by a bus, every time I had 3 or 4 glasses of wine, or a few glasses of port, or 3 or 4 brandies.

I even cut down a bit for a few months, but still had the headaches. In fact, I got to the point where I started to develop a headache, before the 'nice' feeling of being tipsy kicked in.

I don't miss it one single bit. Ever.

My 2 DC (both around 30,) hardly drink alcohol now either, and they and their friends regularly socialise without it. It's definitely falling out of favour now with many people, (especially over 25,) as people are starting to realise that they don't need to drink alcohol/get pissed to have fun, Only people I know who seem to get pissed a lot, and can't have any fun, or socialise without alcohol, are alcoholics, and people under 25...

All of the health benefits etc have been covered. A thing that got to me and made me almost disgusted with the thought of drinking is the why? When a drink is considered the course of action - going out out, sad, happy, tired, celebratory - I’m just like, but why? And how? How will drink improve this situation? And why do I need to drink with say my best friends of 40 odd years, or to ‘wind down’, is there no other way to do those things without inviting in all the negatives mentioned in the thread. As a white working class person, drink culture is not only normalised, but in my community is almost preferred. If you’re not drinking it’s seen as very weird and like you’re depriving yourself of one of life’s greatest pleasures. No matter how much I say I don’t want to, so many friends come at me from the angle of ‘you work hard so you deserve it, don’t deny yourself’ or are even disappointed if I don’t get involved with naice cocktails on a trip, or mulled wine at Christmas. It’s almost like they pity me and want to encourage me to enjoy my life. It’s a bit like well what will you do, then, while we’re all drinking? My answer is I’ll leave at about 10/11 when everyone is beginning the overheating, crying over their traumas, repeating themselves, not taking advice or even remembering anything because they’re too drunk. I’ll then, when I get up the next day at a normal time, see all the group chat messages going until 4am where people are lost, trying to find the others, talking about vomiting or some other thing, posting pictures of each other passed out, and I’m just like 👍🏼

What nobody seems to get is that comparatively, without saying it out loud or being nasty, I am living better than most and am in more control of my physical and mental health than most of my friends. They get trashed for any and every reason. If not trashed like the example above, then it’s tins on the train after a long day at work, or a whole bottle of red wine after a disastrous date. My group chats are full of headaches, hangovers and anxiety. Embarrassing work dos, questionable interactions with others that have to be taken to the grave, and just day to day poor health that is never addressed. Nobody has ever been able to explain to me how a few glasses of red is going to help say my work life or whatever, improve. And the next question is, does it make my life worse at all? Does a few glasses of red after a long day, binge drinking on a Friday or Saturday (or both), hair of the dog on Sunday, a G&T with a mum from school. Is all of that adding up to be a bit shit for my overall health? And does it cost a fortune?

I’ve done all the shit work, therapy, fitness, addressing. Once that was in play, the question of ‘is a glass of wine going to benefit me today’ just became a constant NO. It may all sound sanctimonious, and I think some of my friends read it that way, too, despite me not laying it out as bluntly IRL. I just don’t see the point. What is the point? If the answer is to relax, to enjoy, to whatever, then I would question why we can’t achieve those states without what is essentially a drug.

Well done you! Keep it up. 😘

Crazy isn’t it?! I don’t think that poster is ok.

Smoking was a social norm 50 years ago, is it odd/extreme/unhealthy that I don’t smoke?

My former alcoholic friend jokes that she turned pro and retired early. I like her style.

DH hasn't drunk in about 10 years. He has stomach issues and finds they are exacerbated with alcohol. He also doesn't eat meat or fish for similar reasons. He never explains and I can only think of a handful of times he has been asked. He's in his 70s though and I have found more and more people in their late 50s and on seem to go teetotal in our circle anyway.

I decided to be teetotal as a 5 year old. The perceived benefits then were no stupid behaviour.

The benefits now are that I never think about whether I can drive or not or have to work tomorrow. Never having been a drinker probably means I have had money for other things.

Our local supermarket has aisles of alcoholic drinks and I never had to waste time going down them. I hate supermarket shopping with a passion so that is a major benefit! That said my husband has done the shopping for the last few years so I probably shouldn't list it as a benefit nowadays.

@EverybodyLTBso true about waking up to the group chats. Such relief to see the chaos unfold through the night and know that you were fast asleep and have awoken at 8am for a steaming cup of tea and a relaxing morning. Heavenly and literally the best feeling.

lol I usually say I’ve drunk my lifetime allowance of booze and finished ahead of schedule

No hangovers. That is the main reason I hardly drink alcohol.
Also, I heard a talk by an eminent menopause specialist who said using hrt raised your risk of cancer as much as being a moderate drinker ie regular but not more than the recommended amount of alcohol per week. She pointed out no one suggests going teetotal to lower risk of cancer but still some women avoid hrt to avoid cancer.
Of the 2, I much prefer hrt for the effect it has on me.

Thank you so much for your detailed response and sharing your personal experience which is so helpful

i stopped drinking 12 weeks ago. I’ve lost a few extra pounds and saved plenty of money. I haven’t wasted time due to being hungover, exhausted, or riddled with anxiety the morning after. I haven’t done anything particularly stupid since I stopped drinking. I’m generally fairly health conscious and I feel happy I’m not putting toxins into my body. My sleep has improved significantly. Despite what I might have expected, I feel more comfortable and confident if I’m not drinking. It feels like I enjoy things more. I’m not saying I’ll absolutely never have another drink but I certainly don’t miss it for now.

Being back to the same size I was as my early twenties
Better fitness
Sooo much better skin - and not spending as much on products
Hair is stronger
I sleep better
Love being able to drive myself home - this might be one of the best actually. Leave when I want!
As @EverybodyLTBsaid upthread - honestly - what's the point? Kids don't need drugs to be silly or get the giggles or have a good conversation.. why are we conditioned to think we need it as adults?

I thought you meant no tea.
That's not happening.

I very rarely drink booze because it makes me feel and look crap.

Well done to you too!

Better sleep, more money, more clarity, fewer perimenopause symptoms. Energy to cycle and run more. Reduces breakdown of collagen so better skin. Also reduces risk of cancer.

The huge amount of money saved and better health, healthy liver

I used to drink far too much. Three bottle of wine a week easy. I would regularly stop (Lent etc), but to be honest I didn’t feel any different. Im on a diet now and haven’t drunk since July. It has helped my lose weight and also realise it was a habit as much as anything. Benefit? Well flip it: what are the benefits of drinking? It cost money, there’s no nutritional benefit, and it’s like poison.

I gave up all alcohol when my taste went nuts when I started chemotherapy. can honestly say I can't find any positives. I'm sure my liver is thanking me. My sleep is bloody awful ( although that's probably down to dealing with cancer) and my adult kids and husband haven't stopped so I'm always the odd one out if we go out for a meal. In theory, yes I should be able to say I am clear -headed.

The one tiny positive that I have spotted is my nose isn't the bright red colour it once was. I was having my rosacea veins zapped anyway before the cancer and I would probably have carried on so I guess this way it is saving me some money.

In general, no, I can't really point to any great advantages to going tee-total.

Edit to add- stopped drinking booze early April.

I can jump in my car and drive to wherever I want, whenever I want.

The alcohol gastritis the days after a bottle of wine and the acid reflux.
The dehydrated skin
The short temper when hungover and irritability mixed in with perimenopause

@EmailsaysOOOi think it would be hard to notice the benefits when going through something as difficult as chemotherapy which also makes you feel terrible. I hope you can stop treatment and recover soon and feel the benefits as you gain your health back.

Thank you Sunbringer, you are living up to your name. I'll bear that in mind. I could be feeling on top of the world without all the scary drugs that have been pumped into me. Just hadn't thought of it that way. Many thanks 😃

Less feeling sick, and more energy, i went teetotal after pregnancy because it was a lot of effort buying and drinking wine which I don't always like..plus too busy to think about alcohol so not really a give up lol. Parties, not one for feeling off or the taste

I’m not teetotal but barely drink, maybe 4 glasses of wine across the year if I really fancy one.
i have to say, I do feel a bit bored now at social events and bow out for an early night which I never used to do. I feel less fun and sociable in those circumstances.
I spend my Saturday and Sunday mornings at Pilates and lake swimming and really look forward to doing both with a clear head.
I no longer waste weekends lying in bed feeling rotten and my dc (now grown up apart from one teen) don’t see me lying down most of the day like a loser. This used to happen one weekend every2 months or so, it wasn’t an every weekend occurence by any means but it was still too much. Fair enough for it to happen after a wedding or something.
No hangxiety.
I have always had good skin and MJ has helped with my weight.
to be honest I haven’t had any miraculous transformations and I didn’t expect to, I gradually came to the conclusion in my late 30’s that alcohol didn’t really agree well with me, hangovers were getting worse and I couldn’t handle them anymore. I’m only in my early 40’s now and not claiming to be sober but I enjoy not really drinking, always being able to drive home from somewhere and not coming home £300 down after buying everyone I knew drinks and shots!
Saying that I was a once a week drinker, a binge drinker for sure but would go weeks without and not be fussed by it, and then have a night out and drink 10 double vodkas. Yikes!