Advice needed. Six year old barely slept last night… should she go to school?

[pinkleavesandtea]

It’s my child’s birthday today and as can be expect she was very excited. So by the time she fell asleep was 9pm. We co sleep and I remember her waking at around midnight for about half an hour and then she woke again from 2.4-4.30. I managed to get her back to sleep again. But she needs to get at 6.45 to get to breakfast club! I feel mean sending her in to school if she’ll be knackered. But also think I’m being a bit meladramatic. I’ve only had a few hours sleep myself so maybe overly anxious. Any help or words of support to let me know she’ll be ok.

I’d let her stay home. Sounds miserable to be at school all day on two hours of sleep.

I’d give her the day off, it’s her birthday for starters and what’s the point in sending an exhausted child, she won’t take anything in

Skip the breakfast club to give her an extra hours sleep by take her to school at the normal time.

She’s up and dressed and ready for school. She’s opened some presents and watching some TV as a birthday treat! She wants to go to breakfast club as I think they make a fuss of them xxx

Don’t know if that’s true. We’re all different right? My son goes to a SEN school for kids with ADHD and a straw poll of the kids would show most of them go on 4-5 hours a night even with melatonin.

OP - not saying your daughter has ADHD. It’s normal to be excited before your birthday. And as others have said tiredness isn’t an illness. Being able to get through the day even when we haven’t slept well is an important life skill.

Happy birthday to her!!!

On a separate note I always give my kids their birthday off school. Sure mumsnet will shoot me but my mum did with me and I got straights As so whatever, it’s one day.

My youngest often still chooses to go to school to see his pals. Eldest always takes the day, and we have formed some lovely core memories of going to empty midweek matinees in the theatre, finding random swimming lakes, going to museums we haven’t been to or even just watching movies in our pyjamas until the other one is back from school.

I work full time so it’s such a treat to get 1:1 time with either of them.

She'll probably be fine. I think this is a non-issue so like others can provide assurance on that front.

You do sound a bit enmeshed with her, though.
Why isn't she sleeping alone at six?

Naturally her dad's new girlfriend wants her to sleep alone. I would for sure.

@TotaleclipseinFrance there is always one mumsnetter troll 😂😂😂 enjoy your day!

She's 6 she has tons of reserve, she will be fine. My Mum let my brother not go when he didn't sleep once, all of a sudden he never slept because he didn't want to go to school.

@MyKindHikerits interesting you mention that as she has very little off switch at home. At school she is very compliant but I spoke to a teacher and she said girls do tend to mask. Definitely something to look into as she’s always found it hard to settle and even after the most busiest day she rarely is ready for bed!

I'm not trolling at all. I'm a regular on the site.
You post here so you get the opinions of other people.
I've said that today isn't an issue but you do indeed sound enmeshed with your daughter and in my opinion at six she should be sleeping alone.

It's called looking at the bigger picture.

Do not worry about the co sleeping, I did it with both my kids then they slept together when little, it’s lovely and reassuring for them to feel the comfort of a parent or sibling. They both grew out of it naturally as they got older.
Now they are both mid twenties adults with lovely partners.
i look back on sleeping beside them as some of my happiest times.
Enjoy the birthday weekend.

@TotaleclipseinFrancebut I wasn’t looking for opinions on co sleeping 😂😂 bloody hell, imagine being emmeshed in your six year old’s life! And shock horror, that you feel I should accommodate my ex and his new girlfriend over my daughter! Remember, it was him that started the co sleeping. You seem a bit emmeshed with Mumsnet ☺️

It's totally normal that now your ex has a new partner they want the bedroom to themselves. Totally and utterly normal.
I surely don't have to explain why.

Your child is obviously older than when you were with your ex, anyway, so co-sleeping may not be appropriate now.

What if you meet somebody? Surely you would want the bedroom to yourselves?

The way you express it it's as if, at least partly, you're co-sleeping to get some kind of revenge on your ex.

Allowing days off school for non genuine illness is setting the scene for long term issues..

@TotaleclipseinFranceagain didn’t ask your opinion about any of the things you feel the need to comment on! Who says co sleeping isn’t appropriate? You?

funny how you just assume I haven’t met anyone. And bizarre that you find it so triggering that I seem to put my child first! Just for your information, I don’t have the time or inclination to spend hours of sleepness nights trying to get my daughter to sleep in her own bed, just because my ex decides he wants it to happen. Bizarre you’re so emmeshed with my co sleeping arrangements that I never asked opinions on.

@Pumpkinsaregrowingnicelytotally agree! Sleep deprived and just wasn’t sure how to play it! She’s at school and super happy xxx

Well this is mumsnet and you are asking for opinions so you get them.
I don't think that it is the norm for a six-year-old to be co-sleeping at this age.

In my opinion you are not putting your child first by doing this.
You seem bitter about your ex, maybe you've reason to be, however, I believe that this should be put aside in order for your child to gain some independence in sleeping alone.

Your ex is absolutely right to want this to happen whatever his reasons may be.

My kids never have or will go to school on their birthdays (unless they request obviously) but I still send them when they’ve had a bad nights sleep as long as no illness causing it

You’re proper creepy btw. Actually gave me shivers reading this. Imagine being this obsessed with the sleep arrangements or a child you don’t know on a thread that has nothing to do with it, ew

My son has chronic sleep issues and fairly routinely gets between 3-5hrs a night. Sometimes broken too.

His worst this week was: sleep at 10:20, awake 11pm - 1am, and then up for the day at 4:15.

He still went to school.

If I kept him off every time he slept like a bin fire, he’d never be there, and ultimately we’re teaching him that unfortunately - life goes on, tired or otherwise.

It’s his birthday on Thursday, he’ll be going then too.

He co-slept in some form til he was around 4, but I do have to say that getting him some sleep and resettle independence was one of the best things we’ve ever done for him, and ourselves.

What a ridiculous comment.

Not obsessed at all.
I read the OP and thought, 'Christ a 6-year-old co-sleeping, that's waa-ay too old.'
I've never heard of it before. Ever.

Then I comment and OP keeps replying so I reply back and so it goes.
If she stops replying to me, I'll stop replying to her.

You don't sound too sharp, though.

Really? A literally just turned 6 year old today, co-sleeps with her mother. You say you're a frequent MN user, yet you've never come across this until today?

Brace yourself - mine still co-sleeps at 7 😱 we're all about secure attachments in this house. And he happily goes off for weekend camps and school residentials with zero issue.

Just because its not what you do, doesnt mean its wrong 🤷‍♀️

@pinkleavesandtea I hope your daughter has a wonderful evening bowling!

Not the point of the thread I know, but I agree.

I’ve got a profoundly autistic child who follows me to the bathroom, and he’s in his own bed because that’s where we need him to be able to settle.

We spend all day meeting his needs, my sleep and the space I do it in is my own, even if we do get a limited amount of it.

Somebody disagreeing with you doesn’t make them a troll.