Wedding & DV abuser

[Birdcatdog]

I have been invited to a close relatives wedding along with my 2 daughters. The brides father is currently in jail for DV but will be out next year for the wedding. I dont want to attend if he is going, especially with my daughters but how can I decline the invite without offending the bride and the rest of the family?

Yes, but you can do it is my point!

She can. Can you not comprehend that?

Don't panic OP - this may be a problem that solves itself. He will probably be on licence when he comes out of custody and the licence will most likely have conditions about contact with previous victims and/or U18's. He would need the permission of his Probation Officer to attend in that case - and they may well judge the risk to be unmanageable and say no.

Sorry @Birdcatdog but why do you not want to go? Sorry if I missed that. Are you afraid of him/ of your daughters witnessing something violent? Or do you kind of object in principle, like you want to boycott him?

I'd definitely go. Can't see what it matters whether he's there or not tbh. Even if he's not, if it's roughly 50% men, there will be abusive men among them.

And if he's abusive, his daughter is unlikely to be able to just not invite him. He'll be in charge, she won't dare - she may not even be able to see him as an abuser. I don't think she should be punished for that.

Also what @Lemonfrost said is right - if his ex is known to be a previous victim, he may not even be allowed to go if she's there.