I am genuinely curious because I have been in this relationship so long that I'm losing touch with reality. I am in this cycle within my relationship whereby my DP is cruel, then acts completely normal and I feel like I don't know what's normal anymore.
So here is an interaction from Monday and I know it sounds ridiculous. I want to know objectively if I am at fault and uncaring.
So the backstory relevant to this scenario is that I work more than DP although he earns a lot more. He's home all day and spends most of it in bed. I work all day and do all the housework, he refuses to help and if I ask I get so much abuse and anger that I've learnt to not ask anymore. I'm completely overwhelmed and resentful.
On Monday I text him asking very nicely if he could help in the house. I ask every now and again, he gets angry and then I leave it for a few months. I spent days planning how to word this message. I just asked if whilst he's home and I'm in work all day, could he please just clear anything he uses, empty the food bin if it's full and if there is washing out that's dry, please could he bring it in. I said I'd be very grateful. At present I'm running into the house between clinics putting washing out etc. if he drops something on the floor he'll leave it, or say "I can't pick it up" and walk off leaving me to do it. Further context is that he has a bad back, however he manages to drive to his father's regularly, play pool, to to the pub 4x a week and have sex. So he can do things that he wants to do.
Lunchtime Monday he came and told me there was a dead pigeon in the garden. I didn't think much of it, I was messaging a client and also assumed he'd sort it. He didn't sort it. It seems he just went to ay Xbox instead. He then text me in the evening and asking me to move the pigeon, bag it up etc and said he can't do it. This is where I am in the wrong; I said I'd rather not do it as I hate maggots and that he manages to go to the pub, play pool etc so I'm sure he could pick it up.
He came downstairs and started shouting at me. He said I was making him pick up the pigeon, I'm a horrible person. He said he doesn't know how he can live with someone as nasty as me. He then started calling me a bitch and said I disgust him. Followed by "I think of you as I think of that dead pigeon, you make me sick". Didn't retaliate and just kept asking him not to speak to me like that and said he was being cruel but he carried on and on. He proceeded to ignore me for the day and is now talking to me as normal.
Is this actually normal? I am so used to being told I'm disgusting, he hates me etc that I just don't know anymore.