Will I ever have a lay in again?

[LivingDeadGirlUK]

I had an exhausting week and went to bed at 9pm as I couldn't keep my eyes open. No plans today. Yet here I am wide awake at 5am. I know our sleep changes as we get older, I previously had quite a long thread about waking up at 4am (turned out to be due to stress!) but is that now it for lay ins? Will I never be able to sleep like my 20s and 30s again?

Fell asleep on the sofa about 8pm then woke at 10:10pm, went back to sleep around 11:30pm, awake at 5am. I have an appointment at 8am, so can't drop back for a little while or I'll feel even worse. Oh how I miss the nights of 10-7:30 sleeping 😩

You went to bed too early! You’ve had eight hours sleep so your body feels that’s enough.

Try and push through that 9pm tiredness, stay up till 11pm and see what happens.

My dp gets up at 4 in the week so that alarm used to wake up a lot but id go back to sleep. But yes he finds a lie in til 6 or 7 a lie in, though he can also sleep in til 9.30

I think there is truth in this but I used to be able to sleep for 10 hours! I was also so exhausted after being on my feet all day.

You have no plans for the day?!

What about physically tiring yourself? Go for a long walk, do a work out, get out in the garden and do some gardening etc

No matter what time I go to bed I’m wide awake by 5 at the latest. Now I make sure that I’m in bed by ten so that I’m getting enough sleep and do make the most of being up early (usually with an early morning gym session but not today). It’s really frustrating though! Even with a sleeping tablet I’m awake any time from 3-5.

I've just got up! Been awake at least half an hour. Usually I'm more a 3am / 4am waker and then eventually drop back off around 5/6 am and of course inevitably feel rubbish when I get to around 645/ 7am when I need to get up. Mine's been like this for about 6 years now. Possibly a bit longer. Is it stress? I've had a stressful few years in one way or another. And I am naturally anxious and an overthinker. Always found it hard to get up when younger though! Is it perimenopause? I'm 48. The sleep issues and weight gain are my main signs if it is. But they're also linked for anyone perimenopause or not so who knows.

I tried mirtazapine for a couple of months. Worked a treat but I wasn't keen on taking it long term and maybe I imagined it but it seemed to worsen the weight gain. Nothing dramatic but I'm a solid 14 now after being 10/12 all my life.

Saw a different GP a couple of months ago and they prescribed a new mini pill called Slynd and amitriptyline. I've not tried either yet due to having an unexpected bereavement (my parent died) soon after I got the pills and generally not feeling right and not wanting to add more variables in while I grieved and adjusted. Sounds counter intuitive maybe as the bereavement also hit my sleep but the parental illness that preceded that had too, lots of stress and night waking for a couple of years.

GP didn't think full HRT was needed. I might go back for more of a discussion on that before I start the Slynd and amitriptyline.

I do know that I felt like a different person - a person who had slept! - when I was on the mirtazapine. It was quite scary realising just how sleep deprived and brain fogged I had been.

I have also been reading about mouth breathing which is linked to poor sleep. I definitely do that, always have I think. I tried mouth taping but it was too claustrophobic and I had to take it off soon after. It's also not advised if you have sleep apnea but how do you know if you do unless you've done a full sleep lab test?

I have tried to reduce stress and exercise more. Reduced / no caffeine after lunchtime. I sleep badly regardless of whether I drink alcohol.

The best I sleep is on holiday which makes me think stress is a big part of my issues.

I do worry about it a lot (!) as long term lack of sleep is linked to all kinds of health issues. Such a vicious circle!

If we had enough bedrooms to do this, I would definitely try it.

I don't understand your point here? I have a very busy life, get up at 6:30 every day, travel the length and width of the country for work and often finish the week exhausted like yesterday.

I don't have any plans today so wanted a lay in.

It sucks. Stir for whatever reason, and can't turn brain off. Can't turn brain on during the day.

If you search my name you will find a thread I created when I was at my wits end with insomnia. There was lots of great advice but ultimately it got better as soon as I handed in my notice at my stressful job. The laying awake from 2am stopped but as a PP has pointed out I now still can't sleep past 7.5 hours which I believe is just age/perimenopause and I don't feel bad for it unlike when I had the insomnia.

I’ve just embraced it at 60. Accept that my day is 04:30 -21:30. Does make it hard when I have a night out! But I love the quiet mornings.
If I have a late night out I’m still up at 05:00 and need a nap in the day 🥲

That isn’t what I’m saying

Physically tired ie moving physically and enjoyably like a very long walk, doing a work out, being outside and doing some gardening

not “travelling”

I'm the same, but after 40 years of hellish insomnia where I couldn't sleep before 3 or 4 am and then slept fitfully I am delighted with my 5 hours deep sleep. I've never felt refreshed in the morning before! I used to wake up feeling heavy at noon, now I'm perfectly fine from 5. I just take the extra time as chilling in bed, which is nice.

Same here. Went to bed at 11 but at 6.15 wide awake. The thing that annoys me most is during the week I feel like I’m dragging myself up some mornings when my alarm goes off at 6.50. Today was my only chance of a lie in but no bloody body clock has other ideas.

I still don't understand what point you are trying to make?

I was exhausted yesterday and don't have any plans today so wanted a lay in. How would doing some gardening today help that? A day with no plans is a rare occasion and the only opportunity I have for a lay in, how would having more plans the day I want to have a lay in help me stay asleep in bed longer?

Amen, although admittedly I do enjoy my regular waking time during the week so maybe this is just the price to pay. Pre kids I snoozed till the last min and everything was a last min rush. My weekday mornings now are, while not leisurely as I do have a child to wrangle, at least enough time to eat and get ready properly.

If my thirties are good sleep I’m screwed, I typically go to bed around 11:30, it takes upto an hour to get to sleep, I’m always awake by 5.

HRT sorted this for me - now sleep 10 or 11 til 7 or 8

Thats good to know, I'm 43 and as mentioned was convinced I was in peri during my insomnia bout, I've assumed I'm not now after the improvements after reducing my stress but it is reassuring when I do get hrt it might let me have a lay in!

I shall cherish it then - on work days I sleep so well I don't want to get up- non work days I'm wide awake

Try Magnesium

No. I didnt go to bed until about 1am last night and was up about 630ish, have done a 3 mile walk already.

I hate it actually because when I was younger I would go to bed at 9ish, I couldnt stay away very late and then have lovely long lie ins as well, sometimes till 12 the next day (at a weekend)

Im in my 80s and my sleep pattern has completely broken down. Fortunately I just run a side hustle but its international and i have to be awake when my students come online. Apart from that I sleep when Im tired and rarely more than 5 hours at a stretch. I was up at 6 am today and will probably go back about 3 pm after my Tesco delivery has arrived and been put away.

I was baffled when this started happening for me early this year. I occasionally sleep in til 6 but usually awake at 4.30- 5 (from 10.30ish pm) At first I felt frustrated to not be asleep and spent ages tossing and turning each morning, then felt guilty for not doing housework or other such productive activity. I now have a luxurious feeling new routine with a short stretch/mobility routine, then a cup of coffee and a book. I hadn't really read much since my kids were born and now flying through them - at least an hour each morning, (and another before bed because I can't wait!). Its been great for my mental health and I generally feel better rested.
I'm currently trialling audiobooks while walking on a treadmill while waiting for my book holds to arrive in local library. It's a great way to start the day but definitely gives a different feel to a relaxed coffee and book- not such a luxurious feel! It's the first time in my life I've happily got out of bed as soon as I wake up and I do drop off to sleep quickly.