Would you ask to be paid back this amount of money?

[Cla7]

Some time ago I was at an event where I happened to meet a colleague, he drove there and I took public transport. We live almost next door to each other, and at the end he gave me a ride home (I don’t even remember who brought it up first, me or him, it kind of evolved from the conversation). When I got out of the car, I said ‘let me know what I owe you for patrol’, more out of politeness. It was not a very long distance and I’d have expected him to say ‘no worries, that’s alright’. He said he’ll have to work it out first. Later that evening I received a payment link for…£2.56. It made me giggle. I’m not saying he did anything wrong and I don’t expect free lifts (or any lifts for that matter, if I go somewhere on public transport then I’m fully prepared to go back the same way), but is it a bit strange? I wouldn’t ask for anything in this situation, and for longer rides, it’s more like ‘petrol comes in at around £15 each’ rather than a calculation to the penny.
I think my threshold for asking to be paid back any money that’s technically owed is at £10 with colleagues or acquaintances, and with friends at £20, below that I’d just say it’s fine.
(This is light hearted chat because I’m ill in bed and bored, and for some reason it just popped up in my mind).

Some people are very literal and he took you at your word, it would tickle me too OP.

And I'd pay of course, maybe even round it up to leave a tip 😁

oh my goodness. I couldn't ever see him in the same light again. This is nuts.

he clearly doesn't understand social cues at all.

I'm not great at asking for money back, which is silly as I usually don't have it to spare. Most of the time I leave it to the other person; if they are a friend, they'll pay me back themselves. I manage a team in work and a few times a year after a long meeting we need to have, I suggest we go for a coffee and it's always really nice to sit around and have a proper chat (there will be 7 - 10 people). I always buy the coffee / pastries, and it does actually add up. we are public sector so it really is my money, I can't claim it or anything, and it's amazing who says thank you, and who doesn't. I was so irritated one time that I didn't pay and the non-thank-yous stood a bit stunned, didn't even have their wallets or phones with them, they had simply assumed I'd pay. I did think about it - it's not in any way common to do that here - but from then on I decided that I'd invite them and make it clear I was paying, and decided in myself I was happy to do that as there's enough lovely people that I'm happy to buy a coffee for, to make it the right decision for me.

It sounds like he's trying to make a move....

I'd round it up to £2.60.

Oh Jesus!! Go on enlighten us, how?

Yeah, that’s nuts.

Mind you, there was a thread a while back where the OP begrudged splitting a bill equally on a casual family outing as she was £2 out of pocket based on what she ordered…

Oh dear god!
Look I get it, you asked the question, he answered, he’s not done anything wrong.
But seriously?! £2.56?

I would assume he was just very literal. It would tickle me but I wouldn’t think worse of him.

since my husband became disabled I am often in the situation where I can’t write off small amounts of money. It is embarrassing as the culture in my team is to buy coffees for each other but I genuinely cant without eg not eating lunch that day. I am a manager. You have no idea what is happening in other people’s lives.

@EarringsandLipstick But that must cost you such a lot of money if you're buying coffee and cakes for 7-10 people! You shouldn't do that - I worked in the public sector and would never have expected my boss to buy everyone a drink and cake. Maybe bring a cake in, if you want, but don't spend so much money, especially if some don't even thank you.

Nope, I wouldn't ask for that back. Add to that you live near each other!

Sorry, but he is batshit. Even if he turned around and said it was a joke, I'd be done with him. What a weirdo.

Oh you are right, 💯

It's daft, if you apply logic to it. Most people generally just get the coffee, and it's a bit cheaper here (I work in a university) than usual prices, but yes, it works out at €30+ (I'm in Ireland). I do it 2 - 3 times a year.

If I moved workplaces, I'm not sure I'd continue it, but I have decided to here as the core of the team is some lovely, committed, hard-working colleagues who go above and beyond, and are willing to support my ideas and workplan [I know that sounds obvious but it's absolutely not a given in this sector!] and on that basis it's just a small acknowledgment from me.

Several had big life occasions this year and actually, I (and another colleague) did what you suggested and organised a little party with home baking (we both love baking).

The shift for me was deciding if I wanted to continue doing it or not and on balance, I felt I did want to, even with the few who don't even care to say thanks!

I'd have sent him a penny too much and then asked for my 1p back 😂

I'd feel embarrassed for him.

You asked him how much you owed expecting him to say “don’t worry about it”.

But if for some reason that he hasn’t ever learned that cultural rule, then he has taken you at your word.

You could have just said “thank you very much for the lift, it was very kind of you”, but you didn’t, you wanted extra points for offering to pay.

Not paying and/or complaining about paying is really rude and IMO worse than him asking for the money. You can’t have it both ways.

I guess you asked! It would be worse if he'd said a tenner when you know it's nowhere near that.
You maybe could say something like I'll owe you a pint/coffee to thank someone for a lift. But knowing how literal he is he might send you a long missive explaining he was allergic to coffee and had been attending AA for the last 16 years?! So could it possibly be a herbal tea instead?

I'd assume he was just terribly literal. No, it wouldn't occur to me in my wildest dreams to ask for that sum of money back, even though I am on the bones of my ass at the moment.

I wouldn't dream of asking you for money in that situation, but I do have a family member and an acquaintance who consistently take the mickey money-wise so I'd probably charge them!
It would amuse me too if someone asked me for that much.

I’d assume some he has some issues with social interaction, possibly autistic tbh.
Unless there are cultural differences and they do things differently where he’s from?

That’s understandable , but in this case he was driving anyway.

I feel like it's the opposite, like he doesn't want op to think she "owes him" in any other way.

She’s not complaining about paying. She’s just slightly amused at the very precise £2.56

My dbro would have done exactly this - not because he’s mean (he’s not), but because he is very literal. He would happily have taken the hit - but once he’d said that he would let you know… he would. And it simply wouldn’t register with him that most people would let this go.

Send him £3

Really??? If so, he really needs to work on his chat up lines 🙄

What kind of a move?