Pros and cons - inviting teen friends on family holiday.

[SuperSharpShooter]

Our boys are 15 and 18 (will be 16/19 on this holiday)

They are pretty close, sensible and smart kids as Are the friends of theirs we've met.
We'll give them the option to to stay home if they reeeally don't want to come away with us, but they don't seem to be shying away from family hols, camping and days out so far, so as long as that continues we'd love to keep having them with us.
We are not wealthy by any means but we do prioritise holidays. We're pretty good at throwing together a cheap and cheerful holiday!

We are thinking of suggesting they invite a friend each for a weeks Costas beach holiday next June.
We think we've worked out a fair way costings wise... but happy to here any suggestions about this.*

Anyone done this?
What potential problems should we be thinking about?
Age wise, hopefully passed any kind of homesickness.
We'd be self catering with an apartment for us and an apartment for the 'kids'
We'd do a 'big shop' for breakfasts and lunch and probably eat out 3 maybe 4 times for a nice evening meal.
We'd like to do at least one 'artsy' day out (our kids would like this)
A waterpark
And a day out to closest big city
(These would be included in costings)
Leaving 4 days to hang out in resort beach/pool/shopping etc... or any other 'activities' they might want to do, watersports etc.
There will be clubbing/night life for the older two.
They'd need their own 'spends'

We'd suggest to the kids they invite someone who thinks they'd be up for all that, and be happy to entertain themselves/each on down days. And friends who would be ok sharing an apartment, two would be in lounge on pull outs. There could potentially be a boy/girl mix, but not overly worried about this.

All our kids friends are equally nice and sensible so don't expect to have to 'look after' anyone any more than we would our own...
But we must be missing something...?

*Happy to share costings but don't really think it will be an issue - the cost is the cost, and quite the bargain tbf There is no way we could pay out right for extras amd I don't think any of the families We'd ask would expect that either. We've broken it down into monthly payments from December, when we'd pay the deposit. Plenty of time to think about, budget and decide if we ask invite in the next couple of weeks.

Any advice welcomed, I'm sure I'm only thinking of the positives.

Reading back, I don't know why I'm being so vague 😁 Costa Brava, Dali's House and Museum and Barcelona!

OP, your boys sound like superstars! Seriously, we hear so much on here about how horrible teenagers are, glad to hear about some nice ones.

in fact most young people are actually quite nice, it is just that the focus and attention go on the unpleasant ones too much.

@Btc76 it’s because they are DandD folk as op stated, we all know they make the best of the male species. Nerds for the win 🤣

DandD folk??
does that mean the board game dungeons and dragons?

@Btc76 yeah, I group them with the Warhammer folk! (Which my family are!)

There's a five year age gap between our two and at 22, DC1 was working throughout August so couldn't come away with us. DC2 wasn't that bothered about not having anyone to hang out with but jumped at the suggestion of bringing a friend.

It worked brilliantly, for all of us. Friend paid for their own flight and we covered pretty much everything else, just as we would have done if DC1 was with us. The two 17-yr-olds got up and went to the beach most mornings, came back to the apartment at some point and we'd go out for food (which we paid for). On a couple of days all four of us went out first thing/for brunch and the teens went beachwards from there.

We'd definitely do it again as it was lovely for DC2 to have company. If DC1 had come, the two of them would have happily hung out together so we wouldn't have added friends to the mix.

I’d be very anxious about being in charge of teenagers who aren’t mine - water and drinking and safety. I’d also be concerned about the money as people have very different expectations about budgets. We have a family rule of having ice cream every day on holiday for example! If they all fall out halfway that would be frustrating. Maybe because my kids are 10/13 so I can’t picture it, but I can’t imagine sending my daughter off with two random older teenagers in their own flat.

my daughter was invited on holiday with a friend once but we weren’t expected to pay, just spending money.

such a lot of rot written here! You invite you pay for everything, no, the parents can pay the airfares and spending money, the accommodation would be the same cost with/without them.

we’ve invited one lad with us a few times and it was brilliant

did they get up to shenanigans on the last trip we took them on aged 17… yup, but it is what it is. No harm done.

the parents paid the airfares only, we covered everything else. The lad brought loads of spending money and that they spent on the things they wanted to do/buy above and beyond the food we’d bought

it was like having another son, we had a brilliant time.

I’d expect the invited teens to pay for flights and spending money, but not accommodation (unless your own teens were sharing a room with you?). DS is an only, and as soon as his friends are old enough to fly budget airlines solo, they’ll be invited to join us when we visit our holiday home for the summer. We would expect to cover food and meals out; we’re inviting them as entertainment for our DS.

Different situation to when you’re holidaying with another family; in that case I’d expect costs to be evenly split.

To be honest if you have two same sex teens who get on and money is an issue I don’t really understand your eagerness to bring along others.

The host isn't paying for everything if the guest has to pay for flights?

I am also not sure why you would do this is you have boys close in age who get on?

Things I would think about
What if one finds a friend to come but one doesn't ? One will then be third wheel
What if one does bring a girl?
Bigger hire car
It's next June - in between then what if they fall out, one decides not to come for reasons of girlfriend / sporting fixture or whatever
Just the logistics and noise of being on hol with 4 teens. On meals out you and DH will be outnumbered
Lack of family quality time - that's what hols are for and your teens still seem on board with family hols. At 16 and 19 they will be able to do their own thing sometimes anyway

The year after they will be holidaying with mates, going to festivals after GCSEs etc - tho as you say June I assume you are in Scotland and June is not term time? Or is this a post-exam thing? (Beware the contingency day)

I have taken a teen friend on hol, it was fine. I am not against the idea on principle, but doubling the number of teens sounds...a lot!

I would expect parents to cover air fares and spending money but not accommodation and food. Or days out of your choice.

@SuperSharpShooter
Good point you brought up about ways of doing things.
I think that if you do decide to go ahead you will have to modify your usual set up into a slightly more “averagely one” for the kids’ holiday at least.

We too have our own way of doing things, using public transport abroad, getting food from supermarkets/ stalls, sometimes cooking, a few meals out. We’re people who refill flasks with water and not ones who spend much constantly buying drinks and refreshments throughout the day.

I think that if you have other people there, and they have their own money to spend, which some people like to do a lot on holiday, you can’t really be not doing that for your own children, even though if you were only with family you wouldn’t have.

We’ve never invited extra guests but as a parent I would be fine paying for flights for my child to go with another family. I see though that some other posters are saying that if you invite you should pay for flights too.
Personally I’d prefer to holiday as a family unit until children want to go on their own with friends and they are all on an equal footing.

Are you not a family where conversation flows? We are and are more than happy just the 4 of us. Actually our teens see it as a break from their friends who are lovely but they can totally relax if it’s just us.

A friend of mine has two extremely quiet girls who are not easy so they found having the older ones jolly boyfriend along improved their family holiday by some measure.