Pros and cons - inviting teen friends on family holiday.

[SuperSharpShooter]

Our boys are 15 and 18 (will be 16/19 on this holiday)

They are pretty close, sensible and smart kids as Are the friends of theirs we've met.
We'll give them the option to to stay home if they reeeally don't want to come away with us, but they don't seem to be shying away from family hols, camping and days out so far, so as long as that continues we'd love to keep having them with us.
We are not wealthy by any means but we do prioritise holidays. We're pretty good at throwing together a cheap and cheerful holiday!

We are thinking of suggesting they invite a friend each for a weeks Costas beach holiday next June.
We think we've worked out a fair way costings wise... but happy to here any suggestions about this.*

Anyone done this?
What potential problems should we be thinking about?
Age wise, hopefully passed any kind of homesickness.
We'd be self catering with an apartment for us and an apartment for the 'kids'
We'd do a 'big shop' for breakfasts and lunch and probably eat out 3 maybe 4 times for a nice evening meal.
We'd like to do at least one 'artsy' day out (our kids would like this)
A waterpark
And a day out to closest big city
(These would be included in costings)
Leaving 4 days to hang out in resort beach/pool/shopping etc... or any other 'activities' they might want to do, watersports etc.
There will be clubbing/night life for the older two.
They'd need their own 'spends'

We'd suggest to the kids they invite someone who thinks they'd be up for all that, and be happy to entertain themselves/each on down days. And friends who would be ok sharing an apartment, two would be in lounge on pull outs. There could potentially be a boy/girl mix, but not overly worried about this.

All our kids friends are equally nice and sensible so don't expect to have to 'look after' anyone any more than we would our own...
But we must be missing something...?

*Happy to share costings but don't really think it will be an issue - the cost is the cost, and quite the bargain tbf There is no way we could pay out right for extras amd I don't think any of the families We'd ask would expect that either. We've broken it down into monthly payments from December, when we'd pay the deposit. Plenty of time to think about, budget and decide if we ask invite in the next couple of weeks.

Any advice welcomed, I'm sure I'm only thinking of the positives.

Reading back, I don't know why I'm being so vague 😁 Costa Brava, Dali's House and Museum and Barcelona!

It's definitely not the kind of holiday I'd enjoy at all but I could never be fully relaxed on a holiday unless it's just our family I think. I'd worry about insurance and any implications of accidents, or even just kids falling out (or getting on too well, if it's a mixed sex group). I've been happy doing shared holidays alongside other families (where the other family have their own cottage and parents have full responsibilities for their own dc, but the dcs can hang out together in communal amenities). I can see the point of bringing along a friend if you had an only child, but with 2 ds's of a similar age it seems enough for them to just hang out with each other.

I did something similar this year, I brought my friend on holiday and my DD brought two of her friends (all three were 17). It worked out brilliantly. Me and my friend shared a twin room, and the three teens shared a family room next door. They pretty much did their own thing and I only had to put my foot down once when the time to be back was challenged. We did some things together, but mostly not. The hotel buffet was a bonus as everyone could graze what they wanted and set themselves up for the day, and I covered the dinners out for a few nights and a boat trip for everyone. Apart from that the teen guests paid their own way and were a delight to have around.

My experience is that when friends are invited the kids have a blast (always had good luck with friends) and the parents get more couple time, but there is less family bonding. So I guess it depends what you want from a holiday.

Haven't been abroad, but if doing so would want medical insurance to be water tight and to have properly drawn up authority to act in loco parentis for any minor.

As a parent of a friend invited I would be concerned about a mixed sex situation if my child was under 18 and the opposite sex. (i.e. wouldn't care if the 19 year old had boyfriend/girlfriend).

I think it sounds fab OP!

I took foster sons best friend to France in 2025 and he has learning disabilities and his gf in 2026. No problems at all. I took them to ecopark with huge zip wires and a lot like Go Ape one day, kayaking and paddle boarding another day, several days on beaches where they played volleyball, football and cricket as well as swimming in sea. On day at swim pool complex with large twisty shoot/flume and water gardens. They went 2km in to town walking along green route and up over a high viaduct and bought bits and pieces.

Our teens invited a friend to each on our holiday this year and it was brilliant! Older ones were gone all day and joined us for dinner.

The younger teens had some time to themselves but were happy to come on our days out.

We ate together most evenings bad two when they wanted to chill in the apartment.

Things to be mindful of, no matter how well you budget/cost, you will end up paying for them at some point. As long as your happy with then go for it. They were brilliant company and made for a more interesting holiday.

I’ve taken dd15’s friend on holiday with us 4 times. Dd is an only and she loves having a friend with her. No cons. Just pros- dd gets to have a swim friend, shopping friend, water park friend etc and dh and I get time to ourselves to chill. We cover all the costs- flight and accommodation (no more than it usually would) and her parents provide her with spending money.

We did it. Safari tent self catering France. Our own older teens x 2, plus three of their friends. Separate tents for teens and grownups. The bonus teens paid for their own flights; we drove our family to the resort, and picked up the extras from local airports on day 2 of the holiday. They were an absolute pleasure to have with us, and my own kids had a much better holisay as a result, would happily do it again

Aaargh, thanks all, but I'm even more undecided. I've left OH to have a think about it so ill see what Cons he comes up with - probably the money side of things.
Good point whoever said about inevitably topping them up! Us four are very good at working within a tight budget. We're not an ice cream everyday kinda family,.so we'd have to think about if we're actually able to do that.

Ah, very important point! We've only ever taken friends that we have paid for.

We'd not expect a friend to pay for travel and accommodation or food, but just travel insurance and a bit of spending money.

Cons I can think of, at least if it was my two kids

The younger ones will want to be allowed the same freedoms as the older ones, if this isn’t allowed you will get arguments/resentment

Your kids will be worrying about whether their mates are having a good enough time, which may lead them to suggest expensive activities or push boundaries

Teens behave differently when in a group/with mates than just with family . I’m sure you’ve seen lovely behaviour when they’ve been over for lunch/sleepovers etc but a week is different

What happens if one of the friends gets sick, injured, has a falling out. I wouldn’t want to be responsible for an unhappy teen far from home.

Will who they choose cause friendship issues ie they have chosen X friend over Y friend so Y gets miffed?

Logistics as pp said, 6 doesn’t fit in a hire car/taxi, harder to get a table etc

Perhaps the biggest con - if it all goes really well your kids are going to want to bring a friend on
every holiday going forward!!

With both of them being boys and a narrow age gap i would just take them and enjoy what might be the last few family holidays with the 4 of you
We have a holiday home in Spain and have taken the DC's friends quite a bit but they are boy/girl with a 4 year age gap so its different. Althogh, DD was living one year when her BF kept sneaking off to the basketball court with the boys!!!

Money is the big one.

1. Pre holiday: will they pay on time and to the schedule?
2. At the holiday: being very clear where they pay and where you pay

Ours don’t like this idea. We get on well as a 4 and it’s our time to relax with each other. Plus both ours get on well with each other. We all like reading books round the pool and they fear others might be bored and
would need “hosting”. None of us want that.

Also surely if you invite you pay? It
would be cringe to invite someone then tell them they have to pay!

I suppose I just don’t understand why you’re adding friends? One of the things I love about family holidays with teens is actually getting family time which is rarer compared to when they were younger. I’d rather focus on family time, and if DH and I wanted some time to ourselves I’d use the saving for a couples break.

You’ve potentially not got many years of family holidays ahead of you, I’d make the most of them while you can!

The only families I know that take
friends either have an only child, siblings that really don’t get on or are massively rich. No one else
does.

I would be supportive were it somewhere that you can just come home if it is a disaster for whatever reason. Not where you are planning though.

I never did it and my son is an only child. Don't think it ever occurred to him either.
I wouldn't like the responsibility and as an ex primary school teacher of nearly 3 decades, that was probably the reason. Too many residentials etc
His last holiday with us was when he was 18, long haul to see family. Was a lovely holiday but I knew it was the Last One.

I agree that if you invite then you pay. Otherwise you are expecting another family to shell out a % of their family holiday budget.

I’ve got two daughters - never felt the need to invite friends into the holiday mix as it’s a good chance for them to hang out together and build their relationship.

The family time is precious to us especially as they get older. One summer dd2 got invited on 3 other peoples family holidays 🙈. No we want her with us!

I think it’s easier to manage if you pay, but as long as the terms and expectations around money are set and clear then I don’t see the issue.
i was invited on another family’s holiday at 17, it was big and spendy but I saved and paid on a schedule for flight, accommodation, food, days out all in advance. They sorted out the tickets, did a big food shop which I contributed to so the only thing I ‘bought’ was stuff for me. We all had a fab time, it’s a cherished memory of a holiday I would never have had in my own family.

A large villa will prob be cheaper than 2x apartments and enough space for you all to not be falling over each other but also can keep an eye on them.

I've done this a few times.
In hindsight it really added nothing to the family holiday and looking back I wouldn't do it again because it changed the dynamic. My DC were still happy to come abroad with us into their twenties so it wasn't a last chance.
We paid for everything and the guest was required to only bring pocket money.

DS2 was also invited on a friend's holiday, again they paid and DS just needed spending money.

My DC would not be happy on a sofa. They were both over 6' at 15.

One thing not mentioned is insurance. One of DCs friends became ill and while they were 17 I was still the responsible adult. You need to know if they have any health conditions, that proper insurance is in place, GHIC and two emergency contact details for their parents.

Are you expecting them to pay to come on this holiday? In my experience in these situations the inviters pay for everything.