If you had a child after 40, how was your menopause?

[MNChkn]

I was 42 when DD was born, and aged 52 I think I’m done on the menstruation rollercoaster - my last period was April, although I know it needs to be a calendar year before you’re medically considered menopause.

Perimenopause wasn’t stress-free for me, but it seems to have been very easy by comparison with those of my friends.

Some months I experienced horrible menstrual flooding, and for a while I had irregular start-stop light periods that went on for two or three weeks at a time. Shudder. Also bouts of insomnia and low mood (perhaps linked) which was the worst, because I have always been a sound sleeper and blessed to have a cheery disposition. A very few hot flushes, which were peculiar rather than arresting as they have been for some of my friends.

I haven’t needed HRT or any other medication, nor any interventions beyond doubling up with period pants as well as a tampon.

I’ve just been discussing this with a group of friends, and the only one who has had a similarly gentle menopause also had her last one late, at 44.

I’m now pondering whether having children late in life offers some sort of protective hormonal benefit that makes the menopause more bearable.

As an amateur historian, I know that women often had live births into their late thirties and beyond in the years before contraception and family planning. Were women similarly afflicted by the menopause then, and silenced because of taboos; or was it just easier to endure physically, because they had never been on the Pill, and continued to have pregnancies right up until they were no longer fertile?

Yes, naturally but it took a while - had several miscarriages before this pregnancy.

Late parenthood has been easy and rewarding so far - I have more experience, more patience and more wisdom.

The usual breastfeeding symptoms very much resemble perimenopause this time so I have probably either entered perimenopause or they will be gone once we stop completely. So far manageable with good diet and supplements. Feel free to DM if you have any particular questions.

Last baby at 45. Now 50. Have the mirena coil. No symptoms of menopause . Have had night sweats since the age of 30 and they stopped a year ago 🤷‍♀️

Last babies(twins) at 42 ,peri kicked in at 44 ( 2yr old twins and peri nearly killed me) and my symptoms were horrific but hrt has sorted them for the last 5 yrs

Forgot about this thread, and reminded to update it by the sudden reappearance after six months of my bloody Aunt Flo. You were absolutely right to warn me @ladygindiva

I do wonder if the ‘easy menopause’ has been studied by gynaecologists. A PhD subject up for grabs if so.

Another thing I’m now curious about is whether there needs to be a direct biological factor, or whether it can be somewhat atmospheric, like synchronised periods in girls’ boarding schools. In the old days, women lived communally, grandmothers and aunts together with daughters and grandchildren. Would that have made menopause easier? I have studied a lot of Victorian correspondence and the lack of complaints about periods (couched in the euphemism “unwell”) by older women is notable.

I had my second/last baby 3 weeks before I was 41. After she was born my periods got lighter and lighter and shorter and shorter… until they stopped entirely when I was 53. I was very short tempered and ragey when she was a baby - toddler - preschooler. I put this down to fatigue and juggling 2 very small dc at the time (DS was just 3 when DD was born), and I wonder if this was masking peri symptoms.

Had a second child at 38 and went straight from pregnancy hormones to a baby with awful colic straight into peri menopause. All the time just put down as post natal depression. Not the case given the changes in periods. Periods have been awful since, I am reluctant to use progesterone and am trying to ride it out but the perimenopause rage etc is awful (worse on progesterone). I’ve always had awful periods from 15, mid life they got so much better. I truly don’t think there is any correlation between late babies and late smooth sailing menopause but I realise so little is still known about the female reproductive system.

I had my last baby at nearly 41 and think I had a reasonably straightforward menopause compared to some of the horror stories you hear about. I mean, it was no kind of fun - but manageable.

Last child at 41 and I was looking forward to menopause and the absence of irregular and heavy monthly cycles. But menopause was horrendous and nearly broke me, I don't think I will ever be "me" again. (I naively thought it would be easier as my mother said it wasn't too bad for her - she had her last child at 28)