Worried about the future for my mixed-race children in Britain

[Thinkinboutit]

My children are mixed race (black and white), and lately I’ve found myself feeling genuinely scared about what their future in Britain might look like.

I’m not talking about having different opinions on immigration or border control — people are entitled to those views. What frightens me is the amount of racial division, inflammatory rhetoric and propaganda that seems to be everywhere at the moment, particularly online.

I worry about what happens when that rhetoric filters down into everyday life. I worry about my children going out as they get older and being verbally racially abused — or, worse. I worry about racial slurs becoming more normalised amongst children and being repeated in schools by kids who are absorbing what they’re hearing around them.

No parent should have to wonder whether their child will be treated differently or made to feel that they don’t belong in their own country because they’re mixed race.
Maybe social media is magnifying the worst of it. Maybe we’re living through a particularly polarised period that will eventually settle down. I really hope that’s the case.
But right now, as a mum of mixed-race children, I find the direction and tone of some of the conversation in this country genuinely frightening, and I can’t be the only parent feeling this way

I’d really like to hear how other parents — particularly parents of mixed-race or ethnic-minority children — are feeling about it. ❤️

I worry about this too although mine is grown up I have grandchildren. Things improved since the 70s but now racism has got worse among certain groups

This scares me too. I suspect you’ll have a lot of posters along shortly to say you’re exaggerating. I don’t think you are.

Discourse in this country has moved to a very dangerous place.

We have a senior figure in the most popular party by some polls standing at their national conference referring to immigrants as ‘drug dealing goat herders’ and it barely registers. Some of the things Reform say now would have been considered the territory of Nick Griffin 15 years ago. Remember the controversy about platforming the BNP? Now Farage is one of the most regular guests on Question Time.

And there’s a not insignificant group of voters for whom Reform aren’t extreme enough!

We have imported the racist great replacement theory from the US, there is an open and platformed debate about the ‘value’ of white Britishness.

So yes you are right to be worried!

My children are also mixed, one black parent and one white parent (I'm the white British one). Maybe it's because we live in London and the part we live has a very large African community (their dad is black African, not from this country) but I am not so worried. It's not to say racism never enters my head but it's not my biggest concern for them. I'm not trying to downplay your worries just hopefully giving you a bit of reassurance.

I don’t blame you. I was talking to a friend who is British Asian the other day and she’s really worried about her son being bullied etc.
This country is going backwards.

Yes there are some pure filth around in terms of racism. They have become very bold. Hoping they are still a minority. We have to resist them.

This is probably more linked to where we live in the UK but my children are part of the majority in their settings so hopefully they will be ok.

I'm actually really surprised this is even a concern these days. This country is so diverse now is it even a thought that would enter anyone's head? Perhaps I am just unaware of racism but honestly can't see why it would be an issue at all.

It is awful atm. Historically there have been periods of race riots etc, what appalls me is it feels like progress has been made, but it slides backwards, usually connected to long periods of austerity. Not sure what answer is. Having faith in power of the collective.

If you’re aware of reform you’re aware of racism, unless absolutely everyone you know is white british and not part of a minority religion you’d be aware of racism.

A popular tv personality this week was racist live on air and absolutely nothing was done about it.

A previous prime minister was openly and proudly racist.

Are you the black or the white patent?
What is your (or their Dad's) experience of racism? Do you have reasons to be worried about the area you live in?

Can you give them advice from your own perspective and experiences?

I think social media and the media in general can freak everyone out about what is going on or potentially going to go on, but maybe real experiences of where you live can help allay some of those fears.

You are clearly living in a bubble. Do you ever watch or listen to the news or read a newspaper?

I'm white with a white child and it scares me. I grew up in a country that seemed, for the most part, tolerant and accepting of everyone. That's changed in the last 10 years, and I hate it.

Social media has been allowed to spread racist propaganda, and that incessant drip drip of hate has changed people. I don't know how we stop it. It's clear that there is a huge amount of money going into destabilising society.

This is so offensive I can hardly believe I’m reading it. Also it’s going to hugely derail the thread which is not great as it’s interesting to those of us who are not idiots and who read the news.

Yes, I agree with you op. I went to buy a paintbrush yesterday and the bloke in front on me was ranting on about the queue being too long because of immigration. It’s just everywhere all of the time.

It is worth bearing in mind that it’s only a couple of months since riots were happening on British streets and masked thugs were posting target lists of addresses of immigrants or those presumed to be immigrants and going door to door to harass and intimate them and in many cases burn them out of their homes.

Summer 2026. Not 1966 or 1936.

Really? Are you oblivious to Reform? To the flags everywhere and the reason they've gone up? The hoards of masked men in Dover yesterday? Never look at a local Facebook group and despair at the comments section?

My son- a tall muscly scruffy brown man- is the epitome of everyone's fears right now! I don't worry over much because we are in London. But what if he wants to move out? I have noticed a distinct shift in the atmosphere when we visit small towns or villages.

My DD passes for almost white, and is treated rather differently sometimes.

If you’re the white parent, I think part of raising mixed-race children is accepting that racism is something you need to learn about and prepare them for. Your partner may have a much better idea of what encountering racism is actually like, so talk to them, read, listen and keep learning.

If you’re not white, I’d honestly be quite surprised if this worry has only really hit you now. Racism isn’t new, even if the current rhetoric feels particularly loud.

You can’t protect your children from ever experiencing it, unfortunately. But you can make sure they grow up knowing how to understand it, navigate it and come home to a parent who gets it.

And of course for many when they say immigration they actually mean a certain type of immigrant.

I am an immigrant. But I’m a white immigrant. The number of people who think I will join in their immigrant bashing and respond to me saying ‘you know I’m an immigrant right?’ with ‘but you’re not the immigrant I’m talking about’.

That sort of ‘oh I’m not talking about you’ has always been around. But now it exists in a context where it’s considered perfectly legitimate and debate-worthy to talk about whether Rishi Sunak is really British, or whether the fact that Britain is becoming less white is in itself a problem. When you legitimise tying Britishness to whiteness then of course it is an invitation to otherise and delegitimise non-white British people.

Me too. My children are disabled as well so they are doubly fucked.

It makes me feel that people always believed the things they are now saying but until now they were worried about the consequences to them of saying their shit out loud so they pretended to be supportive and inclusive.

Now they realise just how many of them want brown people out and disabled people destitute and they feel bolder.

I may not stand out in the average crowd of Brits, but, as a naturalised Jewish citizen, the daughter and grand-daughter of Holocaust Survivors, I totally get you. It is very clear that hatred and intolerance are becoming mainstream views again - despite equality legislation and despite people speaking out against them.

When angry people struggle and cannot see a way out, the perceived outsider becomes the scapegoat. Then the loudest voices and most violent actions take over. The quiet, tolerant people fear for their livelihoods and their families, and stay quiet. The naive or ignorant people who never saw racism are shocked, but they, too, fear for their livelihoods and their families, and stay quiet. And the people who suppressed their intolerance or their aggression to fit in with a generally tolerant society - or simply for fear of the law - now allow themselves full and free expression.

This has happened to DD! People talk disparagingly about brown immigrants around her not realising she is brown! Just fairer skinned.

I’m not mixed race or have mixed race kids (I don’t have any kids lol) but it I know what you mean and it is definitely worrying. I think social media is part of the issue. There’s a hell of a lot of racism on Facebook, YouTube etc. Posts that shouldn’t be about race becoming about race etc. For example a news report about a new social housing block now accepting tenants became all about ‘I bet all the tenants are black/just off the boats/ not British’ even though that wasn’t the point of the article at all.

I usually make myself angry trying to argue with them but you really can’t argue with stupid.

Isn't it the norm these days? A walk down the main street in my Midlands town would prove that.

Imagine @Fondmemoriesif yesterday you needed a paint brush and so you went to b&q to get one with your daughter. When you got there a man was yelling his head off saying that women were a big problem, that they should fuck off and die and then he wouldn’t have to wait so long and women should not be allowed in B&Q, it’s a man’s shop, why were they there….and so on. You’ve got your female child there listening to this.

Nobody says anything, nobody challenges him, nobody thinks he shouldn’t be allowed to buy his stuff. You have to deal with your daughter and your own fear and wondering whether he’s going to be outside. Maybe he will do something to you in the carpark. You are embarrassed waiting in the line that you have made longer by being there and being a woman because a man has been shouting that you and your child should be dead instead of buying a paintbrush. You wonder if the other people think that women should not be allowed in B&Q and that’s why they all just stood there. Someone else used the word bold earlier in the thread to describe what’s happening at the moment, that’s what it is.

DD is not mixed race , However I am a “bad” immigrant and there was A LOT in the papers and news in the 2010s. As such, there were conscious decisions I made, such as her having her dad’s English surname and an English first names. Focused on English as her language as she had a speech delay, and I felt it was more important to be able to navigate school and communicate properly with peers. Lots of other little things to make sure she fits in and in nothing other than English. Ofc , we have the luxury of being white which made it a lot easier.
She was still asked if she’d have to leave the country when they kick me out after Brexit ,“your mum is a gypsy” bullshit and news articles/sm about people from my country doing bad things from peers who knew where I’m from.