Is it unusual for contact visits to never include overnights?

[noOvernights]

Is it really unusual for contact visits to never be overnight?

DH has 2 dc from his previous relationship and due to living very close by we’ve never had them overnight, it’s worked perfectly he can pick them up/they get dropped off early and then dropped home late. It seems simple and easy but so many people comment about it and say it’s unusual some even say it’s not a good idea ?

Just say to people that comment that the arrangement works well for all parties (both parents and children).

It may be worth considering having a review every few years with everyone as the children grow older to check that it still suits them all, you can always adjust if anyone is unhappy

I think initially because they were quite little when they split that dh ex didn’t want overnights

Why didn't he want his kids overnight just because they were quite little?

I never had any overnights with my dad. On occasion, we’d do Christmas at his and mum and I would both stay over, but never me alone. To be fair, I don’t really remember him ever having any visits with me alone. My mum and I would meet him somewhere for a day out or he’d come to ours for a meal. I don’t think he’d ever parented solo ever in the 10 years they were married either, so just as well.

He wasn’t a risk or anything, just probably quite incompetent and also disinterested. Like he was keen to turn up to an awards assembly or a sports competition, but no interest in practices or supporting me with revision or any other of the boring day to day things.

I think though you can have a lovely relationship, especially with older children, without needing to do sleepovers together. They can do lots of lovely things during the day and holidays, including one to one without you, without needing to stay away from the place that feels like home.

That said, my guess is that his lack of interest in them when they were little has bred their lack of interest in him now. Same as my dad.

Sorry I mean his ex didn’t want them away from her overnight

If all involved are happy with it, then what does it matter? Why are you concerned about it?

I have a very similar situation, my ex lives round the corner, my daughter was young when we split and up to then had never slept out. She only stays overnight a couple of times a month. It's interesting to read other people's take on this sort of set up and has definitely got me thinking!

Its not so unusual. Contact is whatever is agreed. Various circumstances. Whatever arrangements are agreed. Also what the child wants. Possibly the kids wouldnt settle elsewhere. I wouldnt worry about it