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Am I a bad mother for losing site of my son?

32 replies

MooFoo89 · 17/08/2026 17:33

Today I decided to part ways with a long time friend. I found out she'd been talking about me behind my back and she also said to my face that I have my son too soft and that my next son (I'm currently pregnant) won't be soft because she'll "steal him". - this made me uncomfortable.

Behind my back she said stuff like "she doesn't have him in a routine"
I do but this is because we went on holiday together. My son wasn't a fan of the heat and was also on antibiotics so obviously wasn't in his normal routine. She also said that my family didn't get up early and come down for breakfast with her family, but she'd said we can do our own thing we didn't have to be around them all the time. She then said that I went to the water slides with her daughter and left my partner with our son. I did this for maybe an hour one day and asked my partner if it was okay, which it was. He later went on the slides whilst I watched my son.

Today I confronted her and she brought up the last day of our holiday.

Basically the bus wasn't there to take us to the airport so we waited in a room next to the lobby with her family. Another couple of families were next to us. When the bus arrived the other families all stood up and rushed to get their suitcases from the lobby. In the chaos my son was no where to be seen. We found him a minute or so later collecting his suitcase and following the crowd outside the bus. At this point he was 2 and a half btw.

She has made me feel like the world's worst Mam and I'm not sure why she brought it up but I feel like my who friendship with her she's been judging everything I do..

Anyway am I bad Mam for losing site of my son?

OP posts:
MeetMeOnTheCorner · 17/08/2026 17:36

No! But I would have held on to him! Nothing like going on holiday to show up differences in parenting and destroy friendships. She could be right of course ………

Asacoot · 17/08/2026 17:46

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Asacoot · 17/08/2026 17:46

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MooFoo89 · 17/08/2026 17:49

Well we were all sat down and he ran off when the coach pulled in. I should have probably been holding him. But him and her son, who is a little bit older were playing and seemed fine.

OP posts:
VestibuleWeaver · 17/08/2026 17:50

Most parents have probably lost sight of their child at one time. Are they all bad parents?

holachicatita · 17/08/2026 17:51

Sight. Sorry

MooFoo89 · 17/08/2026 17:52

Yeah. I said it was like playground behaviour to another friend. I decided to confront her because I felt like as adults she should have said stuff to me directly instead of behind my back. I was giving her a chance to own up but instead she attacked me with by saying I didn't have an eye on my son. So I said I just wanted us to go our separate ways and be civil of we saw eachother in person.

OP posts:
Asacoot · 17/08/2026 17:53

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MooFoo89 · 17/08/2026 17:53

Yeah true. No they're not and I'm sure even she has lost site of her 3 children at some point. I think she said it on purpose to get to me and it's worked

OP posts:
Dasteredlydandelion · 17/08/2026 17:53

I hate to be that person, but it's sight not site.

And yes, I wouldn't be impressed if anyone lost sight of their 2.5 year old son for 'a minute or so.' An older child, perhaps understandable, but a toddler? Inexcusable in my book.

Lexy2345 · 17/08/2026 17:53

No you're not a bad mum for having lost sight of your son for a very short time. Your friend sounds very critical and you are right to step back from this friendship. It's not very pleasant to be constantly criticised for things. Find a new friend and forget about her and her judgemental attitude.

TrunkElliot · 17/08/2026 17:54

Could you be arsed with all this?

MooFoo89 · 17/08/2026 17:54

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She was on holiday with me.

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Asacoot · 17/08/2026 17:54

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MooFoo89 · 17/08/2026 17:55

holachicatita · 17/08/2026 17:51

Sight. Sorry

Sight?

OP posts:
MooFoo89 · 17/08/2026 17:57

TrunkElliot · 17/08/2026 17:54

Could you be arsed with all this?

I can't be hence why I messaged her. It was mainly to say I knew she'd been going behind my back and I wanted to go my separate way.

OP posts:
Mischance · 17/08/2026 17:58

You do not need this person in your life.

Every parent I know has had a scary moment when a lively child vanishes.

MooFoo89 · 17/08/2026 17:58

Lexy2345 · 17/08/2026 17:53

No you're not a bad mum for having lost sight of your son for a very short time. Your friend sounds very critical and you are right to step back from this friendship. It's not very pleasant to be constantly criticised for things. Find a new friend and forget about her and her judgemental attitude.

Thanks. She always has been and I've let her walk all over me for years. But it was getting too much lately and a lot worse.
I just don't think it's a healthy friendship. I have plenty of other friends who are genuine.

OP posts:
MooFoo89 · 17/08/2026 18:02

Dasteredlydandelion · 17/08/2026 17:53

I hate to be that person, but it's sight not site.

And yes, I wouldn't be impressed if anyone lost sight of their 2.5 year old son for 'a minute or so.' An older child, perhaps understandable, but a toddler? Inexcusable in my book.

It's fine. I wrote it in a bit of state and didn't proofread it, didn't think I'd have to on a forum 🤷🏻‍♀️ Also pregnant and exhausted.

Fair enough. But there were 3 other adults there and two older children. I was busy putting his things back in his bag to get to the coach. I bet you're totally perfect though and kept eyes on your children 100%.

OP posts:
MooFoo89 · 17/08/2026 18:03

MooFoo89 · 17/08/2026 17:53

Yeah true. No they're not and I'm sure even she has lost site of her 3 children at some point. I think she said it on purpose to get to me and it's worked

"sight" to all those who are anal grammar

OP posts:
MooFoo89 · 17/08/2026 18:06

Mischance · 17/08/2026 17:58

You do not need this person in your life.

Every parent I know has had a scary moment when a lively child vanishes.

Yeah. She's not good for me. She judges too much.
And yeah, I think most children (toddlers included) have scared us by hiding or running off.

OP posts:
Lexy2345 · 17/08/2026 18:38

My little boy vanished from view when I was in M&S, one minute he was standing beside me, the next minute gone. Fortunately, less than 5 minutes later, a security guard spotted him lying in the window display, looking up the mannequin's dresses to see if they had knickers on. (They didn't)

TerracottaWorrier · 17/08/2026 19:07

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SnipSnipMrBurgess · 17/08/2026 19:09

Dasteredlydandelion · 17/08/2026 17:53

I hate to be that person, but it's sight not site.

And yes, I wouldn't be impressed if anyone lost sight of their 2.5 year old son for 'a minute or so.' An older child, perhaps understandable, but a toddler? Inexcusable in my book.

Have you tried not being that person?

TwinklyRoseTurtle · 17/08/2026 19:12

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Oh get a grip the OP said it was an oversight, OP you have done nothing wrong in a room full of families you know. Your friend sounds unhinged like some of these replies tbh

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