Do you say ‘love you’ to friends?

[inpraiseofyou]

Curious as to how others handle this. In our family we always said we loved each other but I know (of course) that not every family is like that.

Today if I’m chatting to friends who I’ve known for a long time or who genuinely feel like family I’ll say ‘love you bye’. Most of the time it’s met with ‘love you too’ or occasionally it’s a bit awkward. I only say it to people where there’s a genuine depth of relationship.

Curious as to others - do you say ‘love you’ to friends?

No, but I wish I had the guts to because I do love some of them very much.

My parents never said they loved me, nor did I to them. I grew up in a conservative area in the 60s so it wasn't really done.
I'd never say "I love yoy" to friends, nor would I hug them.

I was appalled when I met XH's family as they were very huggy kissy people.

No, because I don’t love my friends. And I feel awkward if they say it to me, because they don’t actually love me. I say it when I genuinely mean it, and that’s a small handful of people.

Nope. Only mum, dad, half-brother, DH and my kids.

In our immediate family, we’ve always ended every phone call with ‘loveyoubye’. It’s just a thing we’ve always done.

A few years ago my mum went into hospital for a routine procedure and was expected to get out the next day after an overnight stay/observation. Spoke to her the following morning and ended the chat as we always do - ‘love you bye’. About an hour later, she unexpectedly had a cardiac arrest and died. I’m so glad that the last thing I ever said to her was love.

Yes, some of them.

Yes to some of them. And I genuinely mean it. A few of my friends I love very much

See, I’m glad you got some comfort from that in a horribly sad situation. I’m not sure it would make any difference to me, we’re a very chilled family and never have raised voices or falling out/bickering, so the love is always there. I would feel very odd parroting it every time I spoke to anyone.

No, I don't. I'm a lesbian; all of my friends are women, and most of them are gay or bi. Not that I think any of them would assume I was making a play for them if I said I loved them, exactly. I just feel more comfortable by choosing unambiguously platonic ways to say I value them.

Maybe just my location/circle but mates don’t say it. Yes family and partners.

Yes all the time. I’m not professing to be romantically in love with them but the love of fraternity/sisterhood.

I tell everyone who I love that I love them. Why wouldn’t I? I have friends I love, I tell my son and husband every day that I love them and my parents and sister too. I’ve seen too much upset in my life to not tell people.

No, very rarely. And it would be 'I love you' on the occasions I do.

You clearly prescribe to a different meaning of the word love then. To me there are multiple types as the Greeks said. One of these is friendship. Of course I love my friends with the Philia type love.

Agape — selfless love

Unconditional, giving, expecting nothing back.
Often used for parental love, altruism, or spiritual love.

Eros — romantic desire

Passionate, physical attraction, longing.

Philia — deep friendship

Warmth, loyalty, trust.
The love between close friends or siblings.

Storge — familial affection

Natural, steady love that grows from familiarity.
Parent–child bonds, long-term companionship.

Pragma — enduring partnership

Mature, practical love built over time.
The “we choose each other every day” kind.

Ludus — playful love

Flirtation, teasing, fun.
The early dating stage or light-hearted romance.

Philautia — self-love

Healthy self-respect and compassion for yourself.
Can be positive (confidence) or negative (narcissism).

Yes. But only to friends who I really do love. Like family.

Yes I say (I) love you to my closest friends and family . I have lost people who are very dear to me and it has always comforted me that when I recall the last words I spoke to them that they were "I love you" or "love you".

My brother died when I was 15, he was 14 it was in a car crash. Even now 31yrs later my biggest regret is that we parted on ‘bad’ terms. It was a silly little argument between teen siblings but I now tell the people I love that I love them - probably too many times in a day but if anything happens I want them to really ‘know’. My best friend has been in my life for almost 40 years, she is a huge part of the family that I chose for myself. She is my sister by choice. I tell her I love her every time I talk to her.

My boss ended a zoom to me with ‘Love you’. I’m old enough to be his mum and I think he got a bit confused! My mouth open and shut like a goldfish while I tried to hit the ‘End Call’ button.

I’m Gen X, grew up in a family that never said or says they love each other, it’s more about actions. Friends, a couple of them have said ‘love you bye’ and it sticks in my throat to say it back. I wish it wasn’t that way but it is really unnatural to me.

Yes, I tell all the people I love that I love them, which includes some of my very good friends.Its quite normal here.

Mainly when we're telling each other to get fucked, like "love you, but no".

Mum and kids all the time, Dad on occasion, sibling rarely. Best mate very often, in person, on phone and over message. Other close friends rarely but it does happen at the times it’s needed/feels right

Some yes definitely, as a pp put it there are many kinds of love. I don’t believe we have a finite ability to love, I guess it’s hard to know where the emotion shifts from caring deeply about someone to loving them but I do say it and mean it. Life is far too short and precious not to let people know that they matter to me. I guess if my heart aches when they are no longer here I know for sure I loved them.

Yes. And since I’ve been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer I’ve widened the group and I’ve noticed they tell me a lot more too.

Yes! All of my friends are very close and we tell each other all the time.

Yes to my dc, closest friends and my only sibling. I say it to my dad but he never says it back