Struggling with grief after losing my much loved pet last week

[Somewhereovertherainbowwewillmeetagain]

I have no reason for this post except that I need to get this all out. My darling fur baby was put to sleep a week ago tomorrow. They say grief is the price we pay for love, I feel like I am paying trillions. I loved him so much, my heart is aching to have him back with me. I could have had him for eternity and it still wouldn't have been enough time. My house feels empty and all wrong. My love for him knew no bounds, I loved him with all my heart and soul.

Firstly, I am so sorry for the loss of your fur baby.
It is an awful pain. It is said that grief is love with no place to go.

Be gentle with yourself and let yourself feel what you need to. My greyhound crossed the bridge in January, and I am still in so much pain even though she was very old and it was absolutely her time to start her next journey without me.

The Blue Cross have have a free support service that many find helpful. They also have a private FaceBook group where you can talk all you want about how you are feeling, and maybe tell others about your companion. Everyone there will understand

https://www.bluecross.org.uk/about-pet-loss-support?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=14936200053&gbraid=0AAAAADluHwdS7vpO0vTXsqbubvZounyBA&gclid=Cj0KCQjwkOvTBhDgARIsAKUNyRtfeEcrZcBZn34NP3o_EN-_ep4xRW0JIPA_eLY6C4UbOx3XEpoapqQaAqudEALw_wcB

@YeOldeGreyhound I am so sorry for your loss sending you a hug. Thanks for these links.

@Wowthatwasabigstep I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your wife, I hope you are as ok as you can be and have a good support network.

However, the loss of a pet can be devastating, and it's not a race to the bottom with grief.

OP, so sorry to hear about your beloved fur baby, I cannot imagine the sadness. I have my darling girl and I absolutely dread the day I lose her. Sometimes I wish I hadn't got her so I never have to go through the heartbreak, but I just know the love I get from her and the companionship we share, will make every tear worth it. Big hugs to you, and in time you will think of your furbaby with a smile instead of a tear.

Really sorry about your pet.

@Wowthatwasabigstep You’ve been through something terrible and you’re still grieving, I’m very sorry for your loss.

But there’s no need to belittle what others are feeling. Surely you can find some compassion instead of your unkind message?

OP I’m very sorry, time will help but go gently on yourself.

Sending you hugs and thoughts, @Somewhereovertherainbowwewillmeetagain it's the time we all dread from the moment we meet those tiny pups. Be gentle with yourself and take the time you need to grieve.
Your wee pup will be running free over the bridge now and will be thanking you for doing right by them.

I'm so sorry for your loss. My furry prince is really showing his age this summer, and I almost feel like I'm having anticipatory grief. You feel how you feel, and I'm sure he had the best life with you and so many happy times. Take care, and he lives on in your memory.

Thanks everyone. I am still going out on our daily walks doing the same route. The memories, some long forgotten bring me some comfort.

The grief is real but it does pass in time, leaving you with the happy memories.

They do leave a big hole though, but a l’Art of them is always with you and you never forget them.

I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s so incredibly painful losing your pet, they’re like a part of you and leave a huge hole behind. I bet he had the best life with you. Sending hugs.

Ah I’m so sorry for your loss op. And I can understand how you feel. I’ve lost two cats very suddenly and one of my boys was only 3 years old. It’s absolutely devastating and each time it’s taken me months to even be able to talk about them without crying. My younger boy died just over a year ago and I still haven’t washed the blanket he used to sleep on as I don’t want to wash away the memories. Give yourself time to grief and heal. Sending you lots of love

Don't let ANYONE try to make you feel bad about grieving a pet. I didn't see the deleted comment but grief is grief, regardless of who or what is being grieved.

I've been through it, OP. I even cried in a primal way and didn't care if the neighbour heard, I couldn't stop it even if I wanted to. It hurts to the bones.

We spend hours, daily, nightly sometimes, with a creature who can't talk but they still communicate. We pick up on their ways, as they do ours, somehow we have a special connection and their lives become entwined with ours. Mutually we have an effect on each others moods, personalities, lifestyles. That's scientifically proven, though those who live it know it anyway.

A house that always felt like home because you could always feel them there, even before you saw them. The pitter patter of paws that became general background noise, suddenly not being there, seems to make the house sound hollow without them. Even the annoying things they did, we miss it. The little looks they'd give, the way they'd react when they knew it was walk time or dinner time... Literally their entire lives are entwined with ours.

How the hell can anyone say a pet is just a 'pet.' We bond with them. We grow with them. We live part of our lives around their entire life. Ofcourse we notice when that's gone. We notice everything and it hits us bit by bit. All these years later and there's still songs I can't listen to, still walks that instantly remind me of him and I can feel the tears coming and have to control it, as they will always remind me of my boy.

Just ride each day out, OP. Those that don't understand, likely never loved or was loved by an animal to the extent that they literally ingrained/imprinted themselves on to eachother. That's special.

Sorry this was longer than I wanted. Whether it's a human, hamster, cat, dog, horse... A lost life is worth grieving when the bond is so strong, take that pain and remember, it hurts because of how loved and how bonded yous were. Your day to day life has instantly changed and it's all strange to you now but... One morning you'll feel the pain still but will cope a little better. And we just carry on learning to cope without them because that's all we can do. ❤️

Been through it too and it's bloody awful. I feel your pain op. Many people don't understand the grief for a pet or even belittle it but it's all too real and devastating. A pet is often the best companion you ever have. They follow you around offering nothing but love. They are part of our lives every single day in a way that other people often aren't. The house feels so empty when they've gone. It's heartbreaking. It does get easier in time although the pain never completely goes.

So sorry Rainbow, sending hugs and your grief is absolutely legitimate 🫂❤️

@Specialneedsnightmare the unconditional love and the bond is something extremely special.

So sorry to everyone on this thread who has experienced the grief that I am currently going through. Sending you all a massive hug

What's freaking me out is since Sunday I've had a strong urge to run out and get another dog. I feel like these thoughts and feelings are a betrayal. I don't want another dog it's purely some part of the grief 😕

I've lost 2, and my old boy is edging close at 13. It's the worst part of having a pet, and the grief can be very overwhelming. Dogs are by your side 24/7 and it's such an unconditional love that no human emotion compares to it. Let yourself grieve, it's a massive life change to sudden lose your routine and it's the horrible quiet at home without them.

Yeah as hard as it is I would try to sit with the grief rather than getting another dog at the moment. It's very early days and I know from the support group I'm on that many people regret getting another dog so soon after losing one. It never fills that void as much as you wish it would. Another dog isn't the dog you lost. You are grieving and awful as it is the pain needs to be felt. It DOES get easier, very slowly. I couldn't go out for weeks after my dog died. Now I'm out and about even on the routes we took. It has been 6 months. It gets easier. But stay with the grief, as painful as it is x

@Specialneedsnightmare definitely don't want another dog. My feelings are like intrusive thoughts not me actually wanting another dog if that makes sense. That's lovely you can now go back out on your routes, I am so sorry you went through this.

This was such a beautiful post and how lovely of you to share your kind words with the OP and with all of us who have been there.

Grief is grief, and the loss of a pet is enormous. Anyone who ever says it's 'just a pet' has no idea at all of the place they have in our lives and our hearts. We are fully responsible for their happiness and wellbeing and in return they give us unconditional love. How can that possibly be something we don't grieve deeply for when it's gone?

OP, I have been there and I have grieved for pets I lost to the point where I thought I would never recover from it. I did, but it took a long time and all I could do was sit with the grief and not try to fight it. The massive sense of loss is a testament to the deep bond we have with our cherished pets. I am so sorry and hope you can gain even a little comfort from those of us who truly understand. ❤

@lurkingfromhome lovely kind words. I do feel the understanding and comfort from this thread and I am extremely grateful for it.

He will always have a space in your heart. And that's ok to acknowledge, and cherish.

We lost our lovely dog a few months ago. She was the first dog I'd ever had, DH grew up with dogs. She was so loyal and affectionate, dogs are so non judgemental, unlike a lot of humans.
We miss her so much but it gets a bit easier.
Sorry for your loss.

aw that’s heartbreaking. I’ve not had any pets other than the cat and dogs we had growing up but it’s just the worst when they die.