How would you prefer to receive difficult news?

[mememyname]

How would you prefer to receive unwelcome news?
Face to face, over the phone or by private message/email?

Here's the scenario, an associate in my industry has just won a contract that I was previously looking after. I wasn't aware I'd lost the contract, so it was all news to me. I actually introduced the associate to said company.

Associate tried to set up a face to face with me to deliver the news (and ask my advice!) I was having the week from hell so declined / tried to postpone giving that as my reason. They then pushed for a phone call and again I put them off till the following week. Finally they private messaged me.
I was shocked and surprised at the news and a little upset at how the whole scenario played out.

Now I've had time to think about it, it would have been even more shocking and upsetting (for me) to have had this played out face to face or in a phone call.

Like when people say they were dumped by text message - yes please, I'd rather not show you my pain and prefer not to lose my composure publicly.

Sometimes the tone being lost is a good thing!

One of my relatives used to call ONLY to tell me that some obscure distant relative had died. I had to come up with on-the-spot sympathy about someone I didn't know existed.

If the words are chosen well (brief, factual, polite), there should be no need for a "tone".

And in a couple of interviews scenarios, I was asked for a scheduled "we reeeeeeally liked you, buuuuuuut no - but we have another opportunity" (that never materialised) calls.

It was totally self-serving.