Are households with girls first really calmer than boys first?

[boysandgirls26]

I had a boy first, followed by a girl. My son is a whirlwind. He’s great but he is literally never still. Up and down and spinning around in the middle of the room, scramble on the sofa and back down again. In all honesty and not wanting to sound like I ‘blame’ him it does have a bit of a negative effect on the house as I feel like I’m constantly telling him off and it winds his sister up as well.

I did always think that all girl households or houses where the girl was the first born would be calmer. My friend (with three girls!) says absolutely not! Another friend with a girl first then boy grandchildren says it’s more difficult as the younger boy hits the older girl a lot while this doesn’t happen as much with older boy / younger girl.

I am genuinely just curious, it’s not like you can do anything about it either Way! 😂

Nope. Girl then boy here and it's absolute chaos every waking hour!

I suspect it's more to do with the personality of the children in question. My girl ( oldest) is a firecracker. My boy very chilled.

Having said that our house is calm but that's maybe as much down to me and their dad's influence too.

I’ve only one girl and generally she is pretty chilled out, will sit and draw, likes playdough and dressing up. Can take her out and about to restaurants and she’ll sit for a reasonable amount of time. But my friend with one girl she is a whirlwind, my house is genuinely trashed ever time she comes over, food everywhere, every single toy pulled out and doesn’t not care when told off so I’d say it’s personality.
What my daughter lacks in whirlwind energy when makes up for in whining 😂 soooo whiney!!

I think it depends on their personalities, but my dd has definitely been the much more challenging child to parent compared to ds. Dd is older by 5 years. She definitely is the whirlwind of the two of them. Does not sit down. Much higher emotional needs. Ds in comparison is much more chill, can sit and potter for hours, much easier emotionally to parent. I think if we’d had him first, we would have been in for a shock that they weren’t all that easy!

Children’s personality and societal sexism

Your friends DD sounds like my ds

I am glad in a way the child I have who is a bit more challenging to parent came first although like a PP my DD can be a whinger.

Boy first here followed by a girl two years later, very calm household.

I have 2 girls and my household is absolute chaos too. My younger DD age 3 doesn't stop for a second. Not even with TV on, she is a whirlwind and is constantly winding up my older one and climbing on the furniture and jumping off. I think it's a personality thing!

All boys and I've had several comments on how calm it is when people visit, compared to others they've experienced... actually come to think of it, the comparators had girls!

Boy first - absolutely chilled, so we behaved. Girl jumps about on everything and is wild.

I have 2 boys and one has ADHD, our house is a calm household. They don’t spin around the room because they’d be told to stop. Our ADHD child fidgets a lot, needs exercise, but the house is still calm.

Yes one of mine (girl) has ADHD but it's the fidgety inattentive type not hyperactive.

I think it's just personality.

I have 2 girls and 1 boy. The girls are loud and chaotic. My boy (in the middle) is quiet, calm and thoughtful.

Three boys here, all have been pretty calm, would sit and play nicely etc.. Good job because no way would I cope with a child spinning around and jumping off the furniture!

2 girls, I have the negotiating prowess of a UN diplomat.

calm girls are a myth perpetuated by boy mums 🤣

Parents tend to parentify older girls so it seems calmer but these families just delay their chaos to 18+ when the daughter realised she was used.

My mum would laugh like a drain at this. My elder sister was a whirlwind and constantly on the go and talking incessantly and jumping around while my brother was incredibly chilled and easy. I’m the youngest and I was physically not very active at all when I was little, but mentally extremely inquisitive and extremely stubborn. My mum always says that my sister needed tons of attention and interaction. She’s still like that now and she’s not far off 60.

Not in my experience! My daughter was way harder to parent than my sons.

I always thought my household of three boys was fairly calm and chilled, apart from the occasional silly hour which all children have and which I never discouraged because it's fun.

However, my friends with one daughter and on another occasion a cousin with no children couldn't get over the noise and activity in my house. I guess it's what you're used to!

I had a DS first then a DD. For the most part DS was a delightfully calm and laid-back child. DD was a fantastic tornado of enthusiasm and energy. They're now both adults and they're still pretty much the same. I adore the both of them.

This is all bullshit.

i have boy girl girl.
the middle girl hits the older brother all the time.

the girls aren’t necessarily more chilled than the boy

Nothing like a bit of casual sexism reinforcing the myth that ‘boys will be boys’ and should be allowed to be wild and loud while girls are inherently expected to be just be pleasant and quiet

It’s complete horseshit. Children are all individuals with different personalities. There are both: quiet and loud, calm and energetic, gentle and rough, boys and girls everywhere. I wish people would just allow children to be children as they are and stop gender stereotyping them.

I can’t really compare as I only have boys, but the families I know with a mix are a really mixed bag. Like others have said, it really is down to personalities I think. My brother in law has three - two girls first and then a boy. The boy is by far the calming factor of the family!

Two boys, first is wild and runs/jumps/doesn't stop moving. Yes , despite "being told not to". Does rather set the tone and we are a high energy household!

Second much calmer, will read or do activity books for hours. If they were both like this our house would be very calm!