Am I unreasonable for finding a neighbour using the lawn outside my flat odd?

[GardenFlatTheif]

Not posted in AIBU as I know I technically am, but would you do this?

I live in a ground-floor flat in a small block of 11 surrounded by lawned communal gardens.

My flat seems like it was an afterthought. The main building is a rectangle, and my flat has been added onto the end as a smaller rectangle, so it's set back from the rest of the block.

I also don't have an upstairs neighbour, and I have my own private entrance. All the ground-floor flats have a patio and lawn in front of them, and there's also a large lawn at the rear of the property that is also quite private.

Because my flat is on the end and set back, you have to walk around the corner to reach the lawn outside mine or even know there is a flat there at all - as I said, it’s kind of been stuck on and is self contained. A lawn also runs down the side of my flat as well as in front too.

Nobody really uses the space outside mine due to its odd location and even the communal path doesn't lead to it... well, nobody except one person.

This neighbour has her own patio and lawn directly outside her flat, but she seems to prefer putting her clothes airer on the lawn outside mine. There's also plenty of space at the back of the building for hanging washing, where there are not really any windows overlooking - if she's after a bit more privacy for underwear, etc.

I know the gardens are shared, and technically she has every right to but it just feels a bit bizarre - the flat was empty for while before I moved in, so I am wondering if she was using the garden for washing and hosting etc.

She has to go out of her way to use this area because my flat is at the end and isn't connected by the path, this also means she walks quite close past my front door and windows. It's no sunnier than any other part of the gardens, and as I said, she has plenty of space directly outside her own flat.

It's not that I mind looking at washing. It's more that, because I'm the only person overlooking this little area, I start feeling responsible for her stuff. For example, it's on a corner and gets quite windy, so her airer regularly blows over. I've just had to bring my own washing in because it's started raining, but hers is still out there.

Am I being unreasonable for finding it a bit odd? I obviously won’t say anything to her as I know she technically has the right to it, but I just personally wouldn’t and nobody else does too!

reminds me of a flat I used to live in in London

It was a HA purpose built, two blocks of four flats, down stairs in each block had one adapted living, and at the end a 3 bedroom adapted living house .

So 8 flats had the share of 6 parking spaces, and 4 clotheslines and outside grass area , The house had their own garden , with a gate - as fire exit across our back

That house had their own dedicated parking bay at the front door

Family ,moved in, lovely family tbh, but trying to get them to understand - that was their garden, not our communial area - was impossible, Seemed every day mum or grandmum had the lines filled from the crack of dawn. And that they were to use the parking space in front of their house - I mean I get it, was safer to let the kids out of the car safely off road , but we all know parking in London is at a premium and we would be finding we couldn't get parked because his car was there already

Was very frustrating to say the least but, they were a Syrian or Afghan refugee family with a disabled child ( hence them getting the house ) and the language barrier , plus obviously they had had enough to deal with, we just let them be and let them get on with it - end of the day we would be inconvenienced now and again

Mind, I was a bit miffed when they took my rug off the line. Sure it was just a cheapie from the street market and I quite liked - hence it getting washed and on the line

Now we live far enough away from anyone, no one passes our windows or takes short cuts or nicks our parking place . Im also older and think back to those times with fondness, even though at the time it was pretty annoying

I would randomly leave your clothes to dry on the lawn area in front of her patio. At least when you know it won’t rain ;)

Or as a PP suggested, you could comment on her laundry, ask if she would mind you borrowing a few pieces when they are drying etc

Start having a BBQ every time she puts her smalls out. She won't want her knickers smelling of smoke and food.

Oh and don't pick up her washing when it falls off or its raining.

I think it's probably the best area for her washing as it can't be seen from the paths/roads, and doesn't require carrying it through doors/carparks to get to the back.

You are way more patient than me - I'd have taken all their stuff off the line and dumped it outside their door and complained to the HA - they knew what they were doing and they just didn't care! I would also have parked in their space.

I’m a bit of a cow and I’d probably accidentally knock her airer over a bit more often 😂

Just leave her washing. Go and do something else.

She's using that space as it is out of the way, which is permitted.

There's no need for you to take on laundry duties!

I would definitely always leave her washing on the ground (even though it would go against my nature).

She doesn’t give one hoot about your privacy, so don’t worry yourself about her.

I started off thinking YANBU because it sounded like she was putting them straight outside your window by your patio, but after seeing the diagram she is basically just putting her washing out of view at the side of the building rather than in full view.

Do you have windows on the side, overlooking where she is putting her washing?

I think I would just keep taking her airer back to her garden area in front of her own flat until she got the message

Maybe, start having your morning cuppa not wearing your pyjamas!!

Personally, I just ask her to put her washing in the communal area designated for washing.

But as you don't want to talk to her about it, I'd start having the morning cuppa in the buff
& putting my era full of (charity shop bought 'loud' clothes and some very cheap Primark type thongs) on her patio.

Or this, that's the simplest solution

But still having your morning cuppa in your birthday suit. What you doing inside your own home is your own business & if she doesn't like it, she needs to stop getting up so close to your windows.

Put some of your stuff on her rack?!

I agree with this - if it was directly in front of your patio area I agree, that would feel really weird, but it looks like she is just using the top end of the bit of the communal gardens that tucks round your flat and is out of the way of the main patio areas.

I've lived in similar mansion block flats - are the gardens really landscaped? If not, and it's a nice windy gap round the side of your flat I'd be quite happy to have communal washing lines up there to prevent the airers blowing over issue! Everyone needs to dry washing after all!

I used to live in a flat, and the council told me my 'designated' piece of green (all 6 flats had one) was downstairs directly below mine but outside her window.

Day 3 of me moving in she knocked and said 'let me know if you want me to move my stuff'

Week 3/4 of going down to see what was doable (behind her other side she had another piece of green - hers, she had cornered it off to be a full garden 6ft fence, hot tub, small decking area etc)

'my' part had her entire kids swing set, slide, a mini herb garden and some other raised planters

I took the cowards way out, bought a tumble dryer, and just let her be and for years I was glad i did because because she took over many peoples greens the moment they left and she was just so intimidating.

These days, as an fully grown adult, I'd think and react differently.

Just mention it man, ours was 'communal' but only in the center as in, we all have to store our bins, bikes, sheds, kinda deal. But we all had a slice of green area to use for our own solo use. She was lucky she could make hers into a garden as it was a the back of the building. But I also get how uncomfortable it would be for both her and me to be using the front garden.

What is she hanging her laundry on? Why don't you hang your laundry outside her patio?

Maybe she’s worried about a knicker nicker. Your area is more out of sight?

I’d be inclined to put my own Airer on the edge of her patio area

I’d be cooking a big garlicky curry and burning joss sticks with all the windows open 😁 And maybe putting some pots of jam out for the wasps next to the laundry.

Some people are weird 🙄

What are the rules about BBQs in the communal gardens? Would be a shame if her laundry got smokey

It would be such a shame if her worst fears were realised..

I would 100 percent definitely put my laundry outside her window. It’s communal space after all and who could blame you for not wanting 2 lots of laundry outside yours. I appreciate she’s allowed to do it but this is still CF behaviour.

Let her know you’re going to be having a BBQ when you see her hanging stuff out.