What are your views on drinking alcohol around children?

[Char1997]

What are people’s general thoughts on alcohol around children? I personally don’t consume any alcohol around my children at all as I don’t like the idea of them seeing me tipsy/drunk but I have friends who will drink heavily socially around their children and just wanted to know what people’s feelings are! Thanks!☺️

Not what I am implying at all!

I find it necessary 😂

My parents owned a village pub and I grew up accepting that having a sociable drink at the end of the day was a normal thing to do but I also grew up with a contempt for drunks, having seen too many of them. By the time I left home, I knew what I could drink and when to stop.

I separated from ds' dad when he developed a drink problem and refused to acknowledge it or do anything about it. I didn't want ds growing up thinking it was OK.

I have a glass of wine maybe once a month, and never get tipsy. If ds17 and I eat out, I ask if he would like a drink but he always says no. He has always refused alcohol and I suspect that is because he has seen the state his dad gets in.

I think teenagers need to understand the risks and I worry that ds will go to uni and get spectacularly drunk first try, but I can't force him to try alcohol. So difficult

I never drink around my kids but it’s because I don’t drink and don’t want to.

I don’t think there’s an issue having a glass of wine with dinner etc but I think it’s a bit of a nonsense to say it’s needed to teach moderation. I don’t think the children of non drinkers suddenly go wild as teens, surely they would not see it as socially normal?

I unfortunately have seen many parents get very drunk around their kids. Prosecco at kids parties and things, very off to me but each to their own.

I don’t really drink, but have no issues having a drink or two in front of my child (4). I’ve told him what alcohol is and why he can’t have any.

A drink or two is fine, and in fact I think it’s beneficial to demonstrate sensible drinking. Being drunk is not ok and both parents drunk is totally unacceptable, you need at least one to be able to deal with an emergency.

My children have seen me 'drunk' more than once! Family parties for example, all of the adults having a great time, letting their hair down a bit and the kids going a little bit feral (on our own properties!). My two are 20 and 16 now and those big (slightly drunken) family get togethers are some of their favourite childhood memories.
They have also seen me coming home from our legendary work 'do' more than once in a state I definitely wouldn't want to be in charge of anything more complicated than a bouncy ball but never belligerent, nasty, shouting etc.
I think alcohol around children depends on the context (necking bottle's of wine at home until you are sick/an arsehole vs large, happy family gathering) and the type of person you are after a drink! If you are a belligerent, shouty, nasty drunk then it goes without saying you shouldn't be drinking around anyone especially not children.

I don’t drink at all anymore (it stopped agreeing with me) but when I did I had no issue drinking around my children. I was never a big drinker and was certainly never drunk around them.

I don’t see what’s wrong with it. My parents drink, but are not big drinkers at all, and they’d have a glass of wine with dinner on a Friday and Saturday night when I was growing up. I can’t see that I was negatively affected by that at all.

Can you articulate why you think 2 and 6 is too young? I don't think at that age they'd even know what alcohol was.

I didn’t when the kids were young, but now they’re old enough to understand responsible drinking (they’re taught it in school at primary) then I’ll have a glass or two in the evenings or with dinner.

Yes, I used to drink wine around my kids and grandchildren. All adults now. In real moderation though - I never got drunk or tipsy.

You make it sound like there's only two options.

Me and my husband have a 2 drink limit when looking after our very young children. We don't generally drink around them but have had a couple of drinks infront of them on holiday and at a family BBQ etc.

Mr and DH drink I front of our kids (now young adults) and always have done. We don't drink that often and DH drinks less than me.

I've also been drunk in front of them
at events like weddings/ parties/ Christmas. Not falling over drunk but just more likely to get up and dance type drunk. I don't really behave differently in front of my children to when I'm away from them so don't see why I'd conceal it.

My rule was one of us had to be sober enough to drive. He’s 14 now and I can still count on 1 hand how many times I’ve been too drunk to drive round him. He on the other hand thinks it’s hilarious (it’s only been the last 3/4yrs that I’ve drank round him at parties)

We drink wine at dinner in front of the kids (1-2 glasses and mainly at the weekend + friday), we sometimes have one beer in front of the TV (rare).
i would say it depends how you drink. If it is reasonable, then thats fine. We dont get drunk, at worse we can get a bit tipsy but even that is rare (once a year?) the older i get the less i enjoy alcohol anyway…

I frequently drank in front of mine. He has never minded, and as a young adult barely drinks, which seems to be normal amongst his friends.

I've often drunk and been a slightly drunk in front of my kids. E.g wine with dinner, bit more at family parties, sometimes a lot more, although never to the point of being ill. My DH doesn't drink at all, so there was always a responsible adult. My kids are late teens/20s now. One doesn't drink at all and the other drinks when at uni, but not at home as none of her home friends do.

It’s never acceptable. And I wouldn’t be allowing my children around any adults that were drinking.

Maybe a glass of wine with Christmas Dinner or on my birthday, a whisky at The Bells. Tbh, for a few years I didn’t drink a thing, I really can take it or leave it and prefer a good cup of tea…then I worried kids would think it was a taboo to rebel against as teens so increased it a little.

Me & DH have a rule at family get togethers/celebrations - if one drinks the other doesn't, we have one DC with ASD & ADHD and the other has anxiety in social situations. Neither of us are big drinkers to be fair but we do come from families who can't do "casual drinks".
I have an older sibling who is an alcoholic so my relationship with alcohol is quite skewed. Unfortunately i'm yet to meet other parents who stop at 1 or 2 glasses of wine (although I know they are out there). I live in an area known to "get on it" or have a sesh. As soon as the sun is out, the cans come out, not long after the antisocial behaviour starts and then a couple of hours later the police come to visit. Nothing is in moderation. That may be because alcohol has always been seen as bad/forbidden/naughty? Who knows.

That seems really extreme. Does no one in your family have even one drink with Christmas dinner for example? Of course being drunk around your children is not ok, but having a couple of drinks in a social situation is fine. It’s a big birthday for my father in law next week. We are having a party with family and friends. Are you saying my children shouldn’t be allowed to come to their grandads birthday because some people at the party will have a drink! That would be ridiculous.

I drink alcohol around my children, but I dont get drunk.

Passing out in a pool of vomit isn’t drinking a bit more than usual. It’s an extremely concerning behaviour and anyone who has that on their continuum line is probably a bit skewed towards alcoholism! I hate this idea that’s it’s culture and you can’t function at a gathering without alcohol. I’m Irish and enjoy lots of events without alcohol and while I do like a glass of wine with a nice meal out, very rarely have one with my children - happy for them to see me have a glass of wine but I’m not okay for them to see me tipsy.

I used to be really hung up about this. My DM is an alcoholic and I didn’t want my DCs exposed to alcohol. We threw a party for my eldest’s 1st birthday and invited all the family. ExH’s family all brought loads of booze and got wasted, and I threw a wobbler and kicked them all out! 🤦🏻‍♀️

I’ve relaxed over the years, and I’d have a glass of wine with a meal in front of them but they were adults before they even saw me tipsy. That said, I don’t drink much but I’ll have a few at a wedding or party.

I'm another one who grew up around alcohol, my parents ran a village pub. Gave me a healthy attitude towards alcohol and I drink moderately, 2 units a week at most. No problem with our children seeing that.

When you see what people become after a few drinks - boring, loud, disinhibited and occasionally aggressive - it puts you right off.