Should DD take the morning after pill

[Diamond68]

DD(20) is on holidays in France with her boyfriend of 8 months. She called me this morning to tell me that they had sex (both of their first times) and that the condom broke. Her period is due tomorrow and she is worried. She asked if she should take the morning after pill. Once I checked that she was ok etc, I told her I think that she should. I know the side effects could ruin the last two days of her holidays but I just think its best. She is a great girl, doing really well in college as is her boyfriend and I would hate for her to become pregnant and throw that all off course. Did I advise her correctly?

Personally I would wait see if her period comes and take it if it didn’t come on time. You’ve 72hrs.

Thanks to all who have responded with advise. This is a genuine post and its a whole new level of parenting that I haven't had to deal with up to now. We do have a great relationship and I am delighted that she confided in me. She has taken the pill now and we have had a conversation about a visit to the GP when she gets home to start on contraception. She is less anxious than she was this morning, and I am happier having spoken to here and read all the helpful posts here. Thanks

You have have absolutely advised your DD correctly.

The fact your DD can be open with you and talk to you about this just shows what good communcation and trust you have between you. She sounds like a sensible young woman.

This! Surely if your daughter sees this she’d be absolutely mortified. Shes an adult, she can sort herself out. But she absolutely needs to start using contraception herself, condoms arent enough

Adults need help and advice sometimes too, especially young adults.

Travel and disruption to routines affects the menstrual cycle for many women, it's a known phenomenon.

Yes I'd take it in this situation. Easy to forget quite how fertile young women can be and cycles can be irregular.

For next time.. Tell your daughter he needs to pinch the end of the condom when he puts it on. So there’s no air there.

Obvious but for first timers they might not know.

Personally wouldn’t take MAP if period due

You gave her excellent advice. It’s refreshing to see a person wait to have their first sexual experience until they are older and can ask for advice in a responsible manner. Good for her!

I thought the same. Why on earth isn't the girl on the pill? She's 20.

Same here. I wouldn’t take it in these circs but depends how regular her periods normally are?

But a risk/impact assessment does - something that's unlikely but would have very serious consequences can be considered riskier than something that's likely but with very minor consequences. You can see this visually depicted in a "risk matrix", see e.g.: https://www.vectorsolutions.com/resources/blogs/risk-matrix-calculations-severity-probability-risk-assessment/

OP - I think it's great that your DD can be so honest with you, and in the circumstances (not wanting to get pregnant) I think it's sensible that she's taken the MAP.

It's avoiding unprotected sex during the whole fertile period which is 7 days, and it's notoriously unreliable even then. Cycles are really not as set and predictable as you suggest, it's never possible to know for sure if you have ovulated when you think you have no matter how regular your periods are.

You can only get pregnant on certain days. There is zero chance on other days

You can only get pregnant on certain days. There is zero chance on other days

Hard to be certain which days those are though. Cycles can be disrupted sometimes.

Why would she have felt the need to be on the pill yet if she wasn't having sex yet?

I don't think 20 years old and after 8 months is that unusual at all, either.

I conceived my son the day my period was due because my body decided to ovulate on week 4 instead of week 2. So yes she should take the pill because if she waits for her period to come and it doesn't then by then it'll be too late to take it. The symptoms aren't bad, she'll just bleed like a normal period or spot for a long time. It won't be a heavy or painful bleed.

You've advised her correctly, OP. It's great that she felt able to confide in you.

The MAP works by stopping ovulation. In her case, given she is about to have her period, she has ovulated. It's unlikely that she will get pregnant, obviously, but the MAP won't prevent it so there is no point.

Same. I can’t imagine sharing this sort of information with my mum either. Very strange. Still, hopefully the OPs DD gets a bit more informed and sorted with contraception going forward, as you would expect for a woman in her 20s…

This is technically true, but no woman has any way of knowing for sure which days those are, because even in people who have regular periods and think they are like clockwork, ovulation can happen unexpectedly at random times. Bodies are unpredictable! That is why natural contraceptive methods are notoriously unreliable.

20 and having sex for the first time near the end of a holiday? am I the only one thinking unlikely and that’s what mum is being told as she’s had a scare? also weird to tell your mum all this.

The risk is near minimal of getting pregnant just before your period.

Why can't a mother and daughter discuss such a matter? They clearly have a close relationship and the daughter trusts her mother to advise correctly. Why such a exaggerated reaction? She hasn't provided details about her sexual encounters. Just because she is 20 is she expected to be an expert on her sexual health or be on the pill, like someone else suggested? The more open we are about these matters, the less taboo will be attached to them.