Overwhelmed managing four children with very different and complex needs

[Chaoshastakenover]

I am at a total loss I’m overwhelmed and struggling I have 4 dc 3 of them all have there individual needs dd14 refuses to attend school gets into trouble when she’s at school is aggressive verbally and physically gets into trouble with the police ds9 is also being difficult at school has to do everything in their time takes a hobby up gets obsessed has to have everything for hobby then packs it in can’t cope with his little sisters meltdowns so walks away pulls his own hair refuses to talk dd2 has Been referred to children’s development centre for autism and ADHD can’t cope with change noise busy places won’t wear shoes or clothes can only say one words… I can’t please any of the children the baby won’t stay with anyone so I can’t do what the older ones want to do so they get upset if I take the baby she gets overwhelmed and melts down.. I leave the house to do the school run and back food shop is delivered I can’t go to the park cos the baby won’t come off the park the 9yr old wants me to watch him do this that and the other but the baby is chasing after someone’s dog… what do I do

Dc aren’t neglected are at risk of harm so we’re ok in social services eyes

Support from children’s services isn’t just about neglect.

https://amzn.eu/d/0hwFYZ0w

£5.99 could save your sanity in terms of the buggy escapee. She won't enjoy it, but she'll be safe.

I'd follow @inthequietofdawn 's advice regarding the educational side of things.

Homestart could be excellent - I had their help when mine were young because of SN.

Have you applied for DLA for your youngest?

In Scotland there's a charity called Families Outside, they support families who have someone in prison and recognise the impact that has. They are very good and can tap into lots of wider support for the children, including therapy and counselling. There must be something similar in England? Or possible HomeStart?

Please reach out and ask for support.