Passed my test then bumped into neighbor's car on first solo drive. Confidence destroyed :(

[sadanxiousdriver]

Looking for some support. I put driving off for years partly due to anxiety and partly living in multiple different countries. I took it up after moving back to the UK as it became unavoidable with the logistics of school drop offs and passed my test in a manual car after 60+ hours of lessons. Then in my very first attempt to drive independently with the family car, just as I was coming back from my short loop in the neighborhood, I bumped in to the neighbor's car like a monumental idiot. It was at crawling speed and both cars have paint chips. The neighbor was incredibly kind and understanding, I agreed to pay for the fix and that's settled, but my confidence took a massive hit. I couldn't stop crying since yesterday and didn't sleep at night. How do I come back from this? I can't stop kicking myself, it's awful. I'm seriously considering quitting :(

I backed into a wall (a low one I couldn't see in my mirrors) a few weeks after passing. And then into a parking bollard a few months later.

The only thing that makes you a better driver is practice. Actually the other thing is not getting overconfident!

I kept going and haven't bumped or reversed into anything in 15 years.

You have to get back in the horse, the more practice the better You're still learning, particularly that first year of passing your test.

Do you usually get this anxious in life, about other things than driving? This seems like a very excessive reaction (crying and not sleeping) to an accident. Try to do some more driving, lots, very soon (like, today). Try to move on. Put on some music and enjoy your freedom!

It's literally in the second sentence of the OP.

Couldn’t read and run….

So briefly…..

Many, many, many people have done this. Two I know…. One had a crash, another took out a whole garden wall.

Ultimately it will make you a better driver. Get straight back on the horse so to speak. And do tiny things at first like just getting on and off the drive etc.

You wouldn’t have passed if you weren’t at the correct standard.

Driving is worth doing.

The only was is to get back in the saddle OP! Go for local drives at really quiet times, 6 in the morning or whatever to build confidence.

i passed 6 months ago and had a couple of stupid scrapes, one trying to park and I scraped it against a lamppost so I feel your pain. But now I’m a much more confident driver, set yourself a target of going out every day, even for a couple of miles. It WILL become second nature.

My very first drive I was hesitating which lane I needed to be in on approach to a roundabout and touched another car with our sides, still no idea how that happened, I was so stressed I just don’t remember the event but it made a sound like dodgems. Anyway the guy probably thought I came out of the madhouse and just drove off quickly the moment he got the opportunity. Neither of our cars (I assume as mine didn’t and he never stopped just drove off) had a single mark but I remember being on the verge of tears. Nothing ever happened again - the first drive is honestly the scariest. Your safety net instructor is gone.

The first time I parked in a carpark instead of reversing straight back I turned the wheel (why why why?) and really scratched the car next to me. Really badly.

it was fine, it all went through insurance and nothing awful happened. Unsurprisingly I didn’t do it again.

Is your family car a similar to size to the car you learnt to drive in? It can sometimes take a while to get used to driving a bigger car. Don't be too hard on yourself and don't give up!

I think that was part of the problem. It’s a much bigger car, and I really should have gone for a similarly sized one to my instructor’s car. It felt incredibly awkward to drive.

Everyone has a scrape or accident at some point. You’ll have forgotten about it soon. Try not to let it put you off x

My friend wrote off two cars reversing into one of them a week after passing.

Not had an accident since.

You do need more practice - maybe consider something like Pass Plus. It does get easier as you get used to it.

I scrapped my car down the side of my friends hedge within 1 hour of passing my test - my dad introduced me to T-cut that evening 😂

Approx 3 weeks after that I was reversing out of a space on a multistory and was so busy making sure I didn't hit the car to my left or behind me that I 'forgot' about the concrete pillar on my right: crash! I had to replace the front panel of the car 🙈

I've never made the same mistakes again.
You are still learning even though you have passed your test.

I passed my test and the first thing I did was drive into the local town to go shopping. I hit the wall in the multi-storey car park when trying to park up! You’ll make minor mistakes from time to time, it’s part of driving. Every mistake is a lesson x

I hit my car on the outside of my own garage soon after passing. It had parking sensors and everything 🤦‍♀️

Be kind to yourself, the driving test only covers the very basics of maneuvering so you have to learn by doing!

My daughter drove into a fence pulling away from our work premises and smashed a headlight a couple of days after passing her test. It's par for the course . She's been driving now for 30 years and not had another incident. It's a learning curve no need for endless angst or tears honestly.
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I feel for you, like PPs have said, try to put it behind you and carry on. You have a bigger car than you learnt in, it was a very minor scrape and your neighbour is fine about it. Try to do a few runs soon as it will be worse if you leave it and then have a sudden need to go out. I’ve been driving over 40 years, recently moved back to London and - now my car is here - I have to drive through chaos to get out! I hate driving through Kings Cross, Highbury Corner etc but needs must and the more I do it the more confident I feel.
Also, if you really find your car too big you may have to take the hit and trade it in - depends where you’re doing most driving.

This is really good advice. Make yourself drive. Set up things so that you have to drive to do them, whether it's picking up online shopping or meeting a friend in a place with shit transport. And definitely definitely get out and driving when the roads are quiet. I used to set my alarm, get up, get in my car and practice joining the nearest dual carriageway at the crack of fuckoff time. It feels silly but who cares, you're a driver now, you can do what you want.

It's bad luck you had a bump on your first trip out. That first drive without anyone else there is weird for all of us. But, look at it this way, that's the worst that happened and actually everyone's fine, everyone's car is fine, it's all good. In fact, you're doing great. If you'd come on here and said you'd mounted a pavement and ploughed into a bunch of pensioners on your first trip out I'd be advising you to think seriously about doing any more driving. But a wee dint with no harm done? Just a lesson in distance judgement.

Don't feel too bad it is all part of learning . Well done on passing , now all you need is practice . Have a passenger maybe in the family car and go out just driving to get the feel of it . You could even ask your instructor to give one lesson in it . Can you tell I speak from experience?

I crashed into my actual driving instructor a week after passing my test. Misjudged how much space I had on a narrow stretch of road with parked cars. Mortified. I got over it and laugh about it now. You will too.

Just keep driving. Don't stop.

It takes time to get used to a different car. Might be helpful to pay for some extra lessons in your own car, to build confidence and help you adjust to the difference in power, steering etc.

My mother backed into a bright yellow delivery truck after driving for 40 years. These things happen.

On my first solo trip, I drove down a dark road with no lights on and was pulled over by the police.

I think this happens quite often TBH! Dont beat yourself up too much.You pass your test then learn to drive as they say! Get back in the driving seat as they say