Passed my test then bumped into neighbor's car on first solo drive. Confidence destroyed :(

[sadanxiousdriver]

Looking for some support. I put driving off for years partly due to anxiety and partly living in multiple different countries. I took it up after moving back to the UK as it became unavoidable with the logistics of school drop offs and passed my test in a manual car after 60+ hours of lessons. Then in my very first attempt to drive independently with the family car, just as I was coming back from my short loop in the neighborhood, I bumped in to the neighbor's car like a monumental idiot. It was at crawling speed and both cars have paint chips. The neighbor was incredibly kind and understanding, I agreed to pay for the fix and that's settled, but my confidence took a massive hit. I couldn't stop crying since yesterday and didn't sleep at night. How do I come back from this? I can't stop kicking myself, it's awful. I'm seriously considering quitting :(

OP. I am so sorry for you. But you know I am sure exactly how and why this happened and you will be a better driver in the future because of it.

If you can walk along a busy pavement then you can drive. It's just experience. You have had 20+ years of pavements less of driving. Don't stop. Use this bad experience to your benefit!

Scraped my husband’s car alongside a pillar in a car park not long after I passed! And. Ahem. Also some ten years later in his newish car (it was bigger too). So, for all the lessons you’ve taken, there will still be the “ah fuck” moments throughout. Chalk this one up. It does get easier to get into a car you don’t know and drive with some confidence (after the first mile or so). More driving = more confidence.

I’ve recently passed my test and totally empathise. Everything is so stressful and I feel I can’t do anything. One thing that has helped is that my son only recently passed. He tells me lots of stories of silly mistakes and prangs his recently-passed friends have (not all of them fall in to the too-confident camp). Even my son who is an excellent driver imo had a daft incident with a car park bollard. It’s made me realise that it’s just part of being a new driver and how you get better

Get straight back out there. If someone doesn’t have a minor bump in their first year of driving it is unusual. This is why I am refusing to replace my 14 year old car until DD has been passed her test for a year. Her driving test is tomorrow!

Go for a short drive this evening OP, when the roads are quiet. Even just to a petrol station to fill up. Don't let it build up to be A Thing.

Also go out at quiet times to huge car parks and practice reverse parking. It will do your confidence a world of good if you can reverse park.

It's unfortunately common to have a small accident in the first year, I did many moons ago.

I also backed into a low wall AND a low business sign this year (about 3 weeks apart) after decades of driving without incident - tiny scrapes but really annoying. I did go back and pay for the sign and also quit the job that didn't allow enough time for driving between appointments (according to 3 sat navs and apps).

Please be patient with yourself. You'd be kind and reassuring to another new driver, so also be for yourself. Get back in the car and take it easy for a few drives, allow extra time by leaving a little earlier and allowing extra time for manoeuvring.

I was upset with my scrapes this year, and the expense is beyond irritating, but I love driving and the freedom it gives. We've just got a caravan and I'd said 'hell no' to towing that (DH has decades of driving lorries and towing stuff) but I might go and get some lessons.

Keep going lovely.

My daughter did this and all was well. We just paid to touch up other car and fix hers and she got back on that horse.

Driving confidence just improves with practice. I only started driving 5 yrs ago having passed my test many years ago and then losing my nerve after a scrape so I was Annie Anxiety but I got divorced and thought - I am doing this!

I was given 3 pieces of excellent advice.

1. Slow down if at all unsure
2. If on a roundabout waiting, know a little gap always appears
3. Everyone has little bumps and scrape's

onwards OP!

We have all done it. To gain confidence you need to practice lots. Don’t give up. You will kick yourself. Just make sure you take your time, don’t be rushed and practice when the roads are quiet.

On my my first solar drive I hit a neighbours wall trying to get into my office parking
I did the same the next day
On the third day I did the same but this time the coping stone in the wall had just given up on me and fell off.
I knocked on the owners door apologised and offered to pay. They just laughed and said we’ve seen you every morning
😳

It happens OP

@sadanxiousdriver honestly it's so so common to have a bump very soon after passing your test. So many factors - less familiar car, no supporting driver or instructor, new routes etc etc.
Don't beat yourself up - in the scheme of things it's a very minor blip.

On one of my first trips out I went to a supermarket but couldn't get the car out of the parking space. I ended up mounting the kerb and driving over a 5ft bush, completely flattening it, before making my escape across a large flower bed, crashing down the kerb on the other side. There was lots of grinding of the gears and and toing and froing, with lots of people looking. I never went back to that supermarket, we moved house about 10 years later!
Time for big girl pants, keep practicing, it will get better.

Great news! Everybody has to have their first minor prang sometimes and you got yours in early!

Don't let it destroy your confidence, look at it this way, you now know what it feels like to hit something and be able to drive away after. It's part of learning to drive but a part they cannot teach you. You have to find out for yourself.

I only ever knew of one person who never had an accident and he used to teach London bus drivers how to drive double-deckers!

I remember my driving instructor saying that you only start learning to drive properly, once you’ve passed your test! Even experienced and confident drivers have minor scrapes. In fact over-confidence is what leads to many accidents. Maybe you could have a couple of ‘lessons’ with an instructor in your family car? Don’t give up, op. You’ll be fine.