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Original poster

How to support DS after being left without school awards.

44 replies

Whydidyoulogmeout · 29/06/2026 19:09

Hi

Looking for advice on how to handle DS (age 5 and in year 1) upset at being the only child in his year without an end of term prize/certficate?

In short DS is in a small school ( only 12 kids in his year). Sports day the other week, all the sporty kids got medals and 1st, 2nd place certificates, trophys etc. DS empty handed, which was expected as he isn't very sporty. He took it on the chin, as there were another 4 or 5 of them empty handed too.

Fast forward to today. Email gone out about the prize winners for the end of year assembly. Every child who didn't get an award at Sports day, has been given an end of year award, (as well as some who got sports day trophys too). DS and another little boy are the only 2 completely empty handed. The other little boy won't be there for the assembly, so will be none the wiser, as he is missing last week of term of a holiday.

DS is going to be so upset. He is very observant, a both a worrier and an over thinker. He will clock on straight away that he is the only one in his year who hasn't got anything at either sports day or academic assembly.

How do I handle this with him? I don't know what to say to make it better. Its one thing if you are one of say 10-12 others who don't get award, but when you are the only one essentially, there is no hiding it.

He tries his hardest bless him, but he is very late August born, and so isn't reaching the same standard in English and Maths as the others. I don't want this to knock his confidence, or for him to think its not worth trying hard next year.

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 29/06/2026 19:11

Id speak to his teachers to give them a heads up he’s upset. There’s not much to else you can do really, this is just part of life. Shame they haven’t realised he’s the only one though

Minasama · 29/06/2026 19:13

This is very poor of the school at this age. Can you email the teacher and point out how demotivating it will be for him to be the only one not recognised? I can only imagine this is an oversight on the part of the teacher. Either awards are on merit and a small number get them or they are broader and everyone does. 10 out of 12 is not fair or reasonable at that age.

ShanghaiDiva · 29/06/2026 19:14

I can see that would be upsetting. At my dc’s school all the year ones received a prize at the end of the year - eg most improved in maths, music prize, sports prize, most improved in English etc.

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Littletreefrog · 29/06/2026 19:15

I would bet there has been some sort of oversight as I doubt any teacher would think leaving 2 give year olds out when there are only 12 in the year in the first place was a good idea. I would call the school tomorrow and just highlight it to them and explain it will cause DS to be upset. I think you will find he gets an award.

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/06/2026 19:17

Contact the teacher. No way is that OK. And I’m not someone who agrees with participation medals.

Buscobel · 29/06/2026 19:25

I agree. It should be possible to find a ‘most improved’, ‘kindest’, most helpful’ award, if there isn’t an academic or sport one for your boy. I hope very much they haven’t realised that he would be the only one without anything and that it’s an oversight.

TheMixedGirl · 29/06/2026 19:25

They need to give him something or I would not send him in that day if you can skip work

Original poster
Whydidyoulogmeout · 29/06/2026 20:22

Thank you for the messages.

I'd like to hope its not deliberate, and I think it is a classic case of sports day happening 'in the moment' a few weeks ago run by the lead for PE, and then the class teacher not cross checking and thinking about that in light of the end of term awards.

There were 7 sports day awards, and there are 7 end of year assembly awards. So some kids got sports day awards only, some are going to get end of year assembly awards only, and 3 of them have got both. So its not all 10 going up in assembly, and DS left sitting alone, but DS will 100% clock that the ones not going up were sports day winners, so have already had a 'prize'.

I can't decide between being THAT parent (as I agree not everyone deserves a prize, but in a year group that small, it is so noticeable) or keeping him off on the day.

OP posts:
LizandDerekGoals · 29/06/2026 20:26

TheMixedGirl · 29/06/2026 19:25

They need to give him something or I would not send him in that day if you can skip work

This

caringcarer · 29/06/2026 20:28

The school may have not realised. Hopefully it is an oversight. Send an email to his class teacher telling her how upset he will be not to be recognised for anything and ask if they can give him a certificate (which they make at school anyway) for being most helpful/kindest DC. If they don't agree keep him home on that day so as not to rub his nose in it.

Hallywally · 29/06/2026 20:32

Oh bless him. They should reduce the overall number of awards if there’s only 12 kids to start with.

Cobrakainerd · 29/06/2026 20:37

I'd email saying that as you have realised that he will be the only child not receiving recognition, as its such a small cohort he will realise and it could be detrimental to his progress and self esteem that you will be keeping him home that day.

ScoobyBooby · 29/06/2026 20:39

Cobrakainerd · 29/06/2026 20:37

I'd email saying that as you have realised that he will be the only child not receiving recognition, as its such a small cohort he will realise and it could be detrimental to his progress and self esteem that you will be keeping him home that day.

I totally agree with this .

on this occasion OP I would be that parent x

Littletreefrog · 29/06/2026 20:42

I don't think this is a "that parent" thing especially if you just highlight it and ask if this is what was intended. If they confirm they did realise and have done it on purpose at least you know what kind of school it is and what you are in for for the rest of his time there.

I am also not into participation awards and everyone getting an award just to keep things "fair" but at 5 years old and with such a small cohort thus isn't the time to teach this lesson

Iknowthatfeeling · 29/06/2026 20:42

Definitely flag this to school. You wouldn't be that parent when it's only him not receiving anything. You are advocating for your DC and the school should recognise children for more than their academic abilities or sports capabilities. There is far more to our little humans to celebrate too.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 29/06/2026 20:43

Whydidyoulogmeout · 29/06/2026 20:22

Thank you for the messages.

I'd like to hope its not deliberate, and I think it is a classic case of sports day happening 'in the moment' a few weeks ago run by the lead for PE, and then the class teacher not cross checking and thinking about that in light of the end of term awards.

There were 7 sports day awards, and there are 7 end of year assembly awards. So some kids got sports day awards only, some are going to get end of year assembly awards only, and 3 of them have got both. So its not all 10 going up in assembly, and DS left sitting alone, but DS will 100% clock that the ones not going up were sports day winners, so have already had a 'prize'.

I can't decide between being THAT parent (as I agree not everyone deserves a prize, but in a year group that small, it is so noticeable) or keeping him off on the day.

It’s not being ‘that’ parent, and they might surprise you if they haven’t realised. But if you speak to them and they can’t do anything to help id keep him off. But to start with speak to school, it’s unlikely to have happened on purpose and he shouldn’t have to miss school because someone else hasn’t considered him.

Ilmiocompleanno · 29/06/2026 20:44

OP, I think there are times when the right thing to do is to be THAT parent, and I think this is one of them. I would actively seek an assurance that your DS WILL be getting an award. It doesn't take a genius to come up with some sort of award to avoid a 5-year-old being very upset. If necessary, they can come up with some kind of award for trying hard at X or being very enthusiastic about Y. I'm not generally an "Everyone gets a prize" type of person, but at age 5 I think it's still OK. Or if you're going to give out prizes to some but not others, you need to make sure that you avoid a situation where only one or two children don't get prizes.

Frostynoman · 29/06/2026 21:02

Agree that you won’t be ‘that parent’. I don’t agree that he has to take the day off due to their lack of inclusion: the school need to include him. I think they’ve failed him by excluding him and for him to need to take the day off due to their actions I would then say that their failure is quite profound.

Email the school and flag this. If their response is not to yield then I would be questioning the culture of the school and its suitability for my child.

canuckup · 29/06/2026 21:22

Pitiful of the school Tbh

bryceQ · 29/06/2026 21:37

Are you sure this isn’t an oversight? I would kindly email school / ask teacher in a nice way…. 5 years old is really young!

Sortalike · 29/06/2026 21:47

Be that parent. I did something similar because while I'm not fan of awards generally, I mentioned that DD hadn't had one of their "everyone gets one eventually" award, school hadn't realised due to a change in teacher.

It sucks when they are young and in a small cohort you'd think they would realise.

Ilovemychocolate · 29/06/2026 21:51

Definitely email school, sure to be an over sight on their side.
And you are not “that mum” you sound like a wonderful mum!

BeaPerry · 29/06/2026 21:54

ScoobyBooby · 29/06/2026 20:39

I totally agree with this .

on this occasion OP I would be that parent x

Show quote history

Me too !!

if the school does not address the issue,
I would knock up a certificate and give it to the little lad and say the head teacher sent it as the silly teacher forgot - and keep him off that day -
poor little boy !!

GardenCovent · 29/06/2026 21:57

I agree that you don’t want to be “that” parent but in this instance I think you’d be justified to raise this. If the class teacher has knowingly done this I’d be going to the head, this really isn’t on and I’m normally one who thinks it’s good for kids to learn that not every wins.

Striveforcompetence · 29/06/2026 22:11

They are totally separate things though. Sports day is sports day and you either win or you don’t, so your kid didn’t win. It’s over and done with and it isn’t linked to star of the week or end of year awards.

There are 12 kids in the class, and 7 are getting an end of year award. So 5 kids won’t get one. Your son is 1 of 5 kids not getting an end of year award, which is pretty normal really. And 1 of 2 who also didn’t get anything at sports day… which really none of the kids usually remember. I don’t know a single end of year awards ceremony where a kid mentioned who got what at sports day or compared it to the awards at the ceremony.