We hosted a Ukrainian family , whilst both working.
The problem being both they and ourselves thought it would be an arrangement that would last only a few months as the war would be over!
The level of support required both emotionally and practically was massive . Mum was depressed after leaving grown up children in Ukraine and basically was invested in Ukraine with no intention of integrating into U.K. society.
we had to navigate the benefits, visa, educational , health system for them . Mum was very passive and expected everything done for her. Would not engage in English lessons or even children’s education . The extensive use of phone translation meant even after 18 months neither mums nor children’s English had improved.
There was expectation raised by Ukrainian community that council houses etc would be provided , despite us saying that they were not a priority unless made homeless by us and as mum refused to work their benefits would not be enough to pay rent.
The rampant corruption in Ukrainian culture meant there was a deep distrust of all government including health. They were vaccine refusers and came with forged covid vaccine certificates. Mum was refusing routine vaccines for children such as MMR.
The expectation was we would help with children’s homework etc and even though we enrolled children in extracurricular activities we ended up taking and picking up and now family has moved out children have stopped these activities.
Many helped in our area and there were mixed experiences , some good , some bad . The essential problem is that many of the families had not made the mental leap to regarding the U.K. as a long term place to live and so were not motivated to engage and integrate. The family who hosted who struggled most had a family that included a child who was quite profoundly autistic and mum was absolutely at end of tether.
comparing with the large influx of Hong Kong , Iraqi, Afghani families who had no families to help them negotiate benefits, training , work , housing the Ukrainian families had far better support and I do not know how many in those other communities cope.
My family moved out to stay with another host and are still there. I was exhausted from working , supporting them , raising their children and dealing with the cultural differences of people living in your house (children not having fixed bedtimes so up all night , large amounts of food in fridge , freezer , cupboards so no room for ours , sweets/biscuits/cake given freely including in bedrooms , mum staying in bedroom all day chatting on phone whilst we were working , heating on full chat with windows open as in Ukrainian heating in flats etc is centrally controlled and not expensive etc).
We have hosted and supported refugees from other areas and for shorter times. I have also worked in refugee camps and have seen the appalling conditions people are expected to live in. I have also helped at a local refugee hotel where many families with children are dumped with nothing to do and no end in sight.
Would I do it again ? Possibly for a fixed term and with far more ground rules I didn’t know we needed. In the end Ukraine is bleeding , fighting a war so we don’t have to and as the mother of children who are draft age that I am thankful for.
However I think many who hosted were unprepared for the amount of time and energy that these families required in support both practical and emotional , and were unprepared for not just cultural clashes but the strains of living with families who have been traumatised and are not coping well with it. The main problem was there was no end in sight and with rent being so expensive many Ukrainians could not afford to have their own place without a good paying job.